Feeling low again now, need your advice- almost ex husband controlled what I wore, didn't let me EVER go over to coworkers (girls) houses, was very angry and belittling. Now that I've left I realize day and night I tried to not make him angry - stupid things like the papertowel being wadded up cleaning the window, pot lid upside down on the counter, etc. but all day long, everything I did. Tried to get away from him once in an arguement he grabbed my arm and left bruises to keep me from leaving. Charged at me one night and screamed, yelled, pushed me with his body (knocked me back about a foot), swinging, but I ducked and he didn't end up hitting me. Wouldn't let me out of the house till I begged. Thrown things, Now going through divorce and he has an excuse for everything. But the whole picture is scary. Tonight I'm feeling low and wondering if it was really "abuse" or what? He says it's normal couple fights?? Is this normal?
2007-03-05 13:41:32 · 8 answers · asked by Wildflower 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I can't thank all of you enough who have responded so far... he called earlier tonight with his song and dance about all of this and trying to put the "spin" on it.. my head is / was swimming with all his BS... each of your messages I read and feel strength from you again. I know I can't trust my own feelings about all this - obviously I suck at that or wouldn't have stayed as long as I did, but your thoughts and support help a great deal. I sit here reading each one over and over and gaining peace with my thoughts. Thank you.
2007-03-05 14:25:15 · update #1
NO NO NO!! Don't let yourself feel this way. That was abuse!! You should not ever have to be on eggshells around anyone!! You hold your head high. Don't let him make you think that anything about the way he treated you is normal. Nobody deserves to be treated the way that he treated you. You tell your story and don't worry about what he or anyone says about it was normal couple fights. The judge knows the difference and you will come out on top of this. Good luck and keep your chin up you are doing the right thing!!
2007-03-05 13:50:49 · answer #1 · answered by Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah it's abuse physical and mental.I've been through that and divorced him and at first I felt the same way I started being really down on myself making excuses like it was my fault but once you get to know yourself again you'll see it was all a terrible thing to of put yourself through that in the first place time will heal your wounds but it takes time it's been years for me but I still think all the names I was called, how I was put down ,the broken bones ,black eyes though it makes me a stronger person some day you'll be just as strong.Any abuse is abuse.BEST WISHES,Good Luck!
2007-03-06 07:28:05 · answer #2 · answered by sinful_1971 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything beyond normal is already an abuse. Anything that involves physical is grave abuse. Man has to show respect to her wife and vice versa. What your man posses were qualities of an abuser and selfish individual. He is not jealous but crazy to do things that you have mentioned. It is a good thing that you divorce him before it goes out off hand.
Don't feel low but have faith in God and remain strong!
2007-03-05 21:49:44 · answer #3 · answered by jacksiapo_125 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no sorry it's not normal couple fights i admit me and my husband have gotten into some bad fights but we were never afraid one was gonna hurt the other. emotional abuse is what he was doing and thats never good,. i have in the past been in emotional abuse before, it's no walk in the park. he also sounds like he has some mental problems because someone trying to tell you how to wipe the windows thier way and getting mad because you dont do it thier way obviously has mental issues...
2007-03-05 22:17:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to stop being a doormat, you must get up off the floor!
Let him beat up someone else.
Get out there and take responsibility for your own life---you don't need someone else's permission to live.
Get to a self-help group for abused women and start changing the way you think---get healthy.
2007-03-05 21:50:24 · answer #5 · answered by papyrusbtl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No that's not normal at all. You have been abused. His "excuses" are just typical of cowardly abusers who do not have the guts to take responsibility for their abhorrent behaviour.
You have done nothing wrong and should be proud of yourself for having the courage to get out.
2007-03-05 21:46:03 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not normal, and it is abuse. Divorce him as soon as you can, because he thinks he owns you and he doesn't.
Just be glad that you are safe now away from him house, and when things like this happen, like abuse, you feel wasted, and feel as if you have been taken advantage of.
But really, these things are what make us stronger people, to thinks that we survived that, it makes us feel powerful, when its all over.
Good luck. (-:
2007-03-05 21:59:58 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Heather♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No that ain't normal,even though that idiot says it is ! Men hurting their wives phisically are not men at all !!!!!! Yes it was abuse ! I don't know you but I am glad you got away from him !
2007-03-05 21:50:20 · answer #8 · answered by sugarbabe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋