i have a family that are divided in that some wud be disappointed but support me,and some that would just disown me and disassociate themselves from me.
my friends know and have no probs(i dont fancy any of them btw!) but how the hell do i get round my family???
2007-03-05 13:31:35 · 17 answers · asked by missbp1982 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Come out when your are ready. It has no bearing on your pride.
2007-03-05 13:41:40 · answer #1 · answered by phxguy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to tell them yet if you don't want to. Only you can know when the time feels right. I came out to my family at 30 when I felt secure enough that it didn't matter to me if they disowned me. It can be quite a scary thing so don't pressure yourself into it, take your time. There is no easy way to come out but if you are determined that the time is right then start by telling family members who you are fairly sure would support you. Once you have told someone who is OK with it they can then help the others to understand. I told my brother first who was happy for me & said he knew anyway. It was then easier to tell the rest of the family as at least he was ok with it even if nobody else would be. In the end they were all fine, but I know that I have been lucky as often it's not quite such a happy ending! Sometimes I think it helps if you make it sound like no big deal. People are less likely to say "Oh my God, how terrible..." if you are comfortable with your own sexuality. Good luck with whatever you decide to do & good for you for being proud of who you are.
2007-03-06 09:40:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe drop hints. Talk more on the subject feeling their thoughts out on the mater. That should give you a step in how your going to approach this touchy subject.
But if proud as you say you are then why go around your family? (Your words not mine)
If as proud as you claim to be, stand tall, and just go for it!-
Example- Plan a dinner, family dinner only and bring it out into the open.
That's taking the second step.
Better you tell them before one gets hurt.
If proud then be proud and no in between. You will feel a great burden has been lifted.
Good luck, take care
2007-03-05 22:08:34 · answer #3 · answered by Bluelady... 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assuming you live locally to your family, and assuming that you really want to/have to tell them...think about that;is it important to you that they know? Then gather the support of a friend, if it feels right, to be there for support. Tell the ones you suspect will support you first, and let them advise your disclosure, if they can help. Remember that when you first tell your more conservative relatives, knee jerk reactions aren't always the way the heart feels. In fact, homophobia is a head thing. Keep an open door, but don't lay yourself out as the welcome mat, know what I mean? If you're interested, there are support groups for people sharing similar experiences. Good luck!
2007-03-05 21:52:22 · answer #4 · answered by Stormy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One strategy for trying to get a feel for how your family might react is to tell them a story about some friends, mentioning that one is gay/bi or referring to one as the other's girlfriend/boyfriend, if you aren't comfortable asking 'how would you feel if I were bisexual?'
Also, remember that depending on how much members of your family tell one another, you may have the freedom to tell people one at a time, as you're ready to tell each one. You don't necessarily need to stand up at the middle of a family reunion and announce it! Keep in mind, however, that there is always the possibility that somebody you tell (usually somebody less comfortable with it, if you have asked them to keep it quiet) may tell others. Just some thoughts.
Good luck!
2007-03-05 21:53:09 · answer #5 · answered by Kel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem.
1- Don't feel pressured. It doesn't make you any less proud.
2- Remember you only get one chance to come out to them, so make sure you're ready.
3- Go with the personality of each family member. If they like joking around, joke around about being gay and then later, ask if it really would be a big deal if you were gay. (that's how I came out to my dad)
2007-03-05 21:57:11 · answer #6 · answered by Renee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
lol just be yourself... ^-^ ... You'll know when it's the right time hehe... so no worries...
It's hard coming out but it's worth it in the long run and if you want the truth here... who ever does disown you etc... well there not even worth knowing in my opinion as real family sticks together NO Matter what!!! hehe...
So Cheer up and just be yourself!!! ^-^
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~SHADOW~
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2007-03-06 18:38:50 · answer #7 · answered by SHADOW 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that they can't handle you being bi then you are probably right. You being bi really has nothing to do with them anyway so just keep it to yourself and whom ever you are with, however be proud of who you are and realize that we are not here to cause others pain, we are here to be who we are.
2007-03-05 22:06:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
they don't want to know about that side of you, you know, who you "poke and tickle" with. they will probably be uncomfortable if it is a big part of your identity to tell them you are bi. i always thought bi people have weird personalities and postures and do my best to avoid them. its okay to clean off your girlfriends back and boyfriends back, but why so proud? some of these newspapers and articles are empty rehtoric for certain.
2007-03-05 21:43:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have the same problem.....I have no intetion of telling them anytime soon though
2007-03-05 21:46:51 · answer #10 · answered by ღ 3SA sL33PY CaNT B3 sToPP3dღ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋