How can i stop being shy?

Question

with my friends im not shy at all but when im around people i first meet i cant be myself and end up saying very little...how can i stop being shy?

Answer 1

be more confident.

Answer 2

I used to be very shy and not talk to anybody except the people I knew. I didn't like being shy, so one day when I was about 16 I went to the mall and started talking to various people. I went to the pet stores and found someone looking at the dogs or cats, or any other animal, then struck up a conversation with them. Or the music stores and talk to somebody thats looking at the same kind of music you like. It sounds a little weird maybe, but TRUST me, it worked. It won't happen over night but the only way to overcome a fear is to face it. I'm the most outgoing person now and have many many friends. You just gotta get out there and do it. Have an "I don't care what people think" attitude. You'll get there. Good luck

Answer 3

I am exactly the same, with people I am really close with I can be outgoing and extroverted, but as soon as I'm with people I don't know I am shy and find it impossible to talk to them...this goes so far that I make myself invisible, despite being 6ft 2in and quite large I can stand at a counter and no one serves me, they don't even notice I'm there.
But enough about me. Basically, I don't think it's possible to stop being shy, you just pretend you're not. Try the following: think up lots of useful little phrases and things you can say to 'break the ice', that you can automatically say to try and get into a friendlier state of mind with strangers. Also, just take a deep breath, and plunge in. I've found that my shyness lies in a strong fear of rejection and looking foolish, which is why I have never been able to overcome it, but I think finding out why you are shy can be a great help with tackling it. Shyness can help though - "I wasn't being rude I'm just shy" is a great line as it breeds sympathy and is more likely to make people keep trying to talk to you. Good luck, as I've never had much luck!

Answer 4

Someone I know a few years ago asked me the very same question!
He was so shy it was painful for him to be natural around other people, to some extent even those people he knew.

I suggested that he just smile, however slight, at one new person everyday!
I told him it would be difficult at first, but to just take one deep breath everyday, but he just might find that a simple smile (he didn't have to speak to anyone) might make a simple differnce to someone elses life too.

An old person that doesn't see anyone for days, someone else just as shy, a person having a bad day...

I spoke to him some months later, and he confirmed that it had been very difficult, but he worked it out that he might never see that person again so what did he have to lose.

He surprised himself, but he found that he had such a positive response it was worth all the heartache he experienced at first.

He is SO much happier now. Not exactly the most outgoing person but he has the confidence to hold his own.

Try it for a day, maybe two, or even a week.

What have you got to lose?

:)

Answer 5

dont be concerned about being shy, it is a very vry good quallity in a yourng lady. Actually some times we areshy due to the fact that when someone is talking on subjects you may not know to much about you clam up, you call it shy. Thats smart. When you feel comfortable around the new people you meet you will not be shy. You are actually making people curious about you, not to bad, right?

Answer 6

Shannon,
Being yourself includes being a little cautious. You have friends and are more trustful and talkative around them.
Don't look at this as a problem.
When you want to open up in any group, take a deep breath, think, "I want to contribute and it will be fine." When you have no particular interest in the discussion, just listen.
I am saying that you are in control and that whatever you do or don't do is right for you.
Extroverts aren't ON all the time, either.

Answer 7

it gets easier believe me. from a man who went red speaking to any female (except family). I can know speak to anybody.
People most of the time don't even realise you are being shy, it is all in your own head.
people used to think i was really arrogant because that was how i came across , but it wasn't it was akwardness/shyness.
it does get easier honest, i thought i would never change.
Give yourself a small task each day, smile at someone, ask a newsagent a question. ask a stranger directions, buy the big issue and ask the vendor how they are.
do something small everyday and 3 months time you will be well on your way to being NOT SHY.

Answer 8

Yes I was shy when I was young

I suppose I didn't want to be laughed at or rejected for any reason

It takes a brave person to break the silence

I found it help when a friend introduces u to someone new

Eventually I realised that it was no big deal to be rejected
Its part of life - its chemistry that attracts or repells people and thats OK

Recently I have come accross some great websites that offer free tips on building self-confidence through self knowledge

http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/missing.html
http://www.increasebrainpower.com/funny-riddles.html
www.thinkrightnow.com
http://icreatereality.com
www.mindpowernews.com

Answer 9

YES! Its called experience! You need more social experience. You may think you get enough, but its not just about hoe much you get. Its also about how you think and act during each social experience. Take it step by step. Each time your out with friends or people, try something that you would not do because of shyness. Like, starting a conversation. Acting silly. Hugging friends. Shyness is sometimes inevitable, but it can be lessened.

Answer 10

Hi shyness isnt something you can overcome quickly. You need to put yourself in situations with strangers and practice chatting to them.. it doesnt have to be an earth shattering monologue but try chatting to someone say in a shop, talk about anything .. the weather... the cost of petrol... ask them for directions to somewhere.. the content is not important.. slowly you will become accustomed to speaking to strangers and your shyness will vanish. Good luck Dave

Answer 11

It seems to me that you have to be comfortable with your surroundings before you can open up to people that you don't know well. A lot of people have this guard up. We use it as a defense mechanism for our own emotional protection. So do some self searching to determine what it really is that you are afraid of. Good Luck!