How can a woman know if her husband or family member is or is capable of being a sociopath or psychopath?

Question

Scott Peterson in 2002 killed his 7 months pregnant wife Laci and dumped her body in the bay, Mark Hacking killed his wife in 2004 after lying about being enrolled in medical school and now Stephen Grant confessed to killing his wife last month and kept her torso in the family garage.

All of these men were SEEMINGLY great husbands, successful and charming. Next thing you know they snapped and became cold blooded murderers. Their wives, family and in-laws never would have suspected that they could act in such a gruesome manner.

How does one know if their husband or inlaws could be the same way? What did these men have in common that could be seen as warning signs to others? According to the victims' family and friends they had great relationships, no problems.

After they confessed to murdering their wives these men did admit that they didn't have a conscience, but nobody is going to admit this to their family/wife. How can you tell if your wonderful husband could be capable ?

Answer 1

My friend was married to a psychopath, though luckily got out of the marriage before she was hurt. Although she was attracted to him and he seemed liked a good husband at the time, when we read the warning signs, it was really obvious he fit:

1. failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
2. deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure
3. impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
4. irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults
5. reckless disregard for safety of self or others
6. consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain steady work or honor financial obligations
7. lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another

Answer 2

Everyone is capable of horrible and frightening behavior. That applies to men, women, and even children. Look at history. In our recent history we have an attempt to "exterminate" the Jews by the German people. Do you think that they just got up one day and thought that today would be a good day to start wiping out a civilization? This stuff doesn't happen overnight. It happened very quickly, but not overnight. The same can be said of fathers, mothers, siblings and children.

In some cases there are warning signs. In others there is nothing that is not notable even after the fact.

I suggest that you support your husband in every way possible. Give emotional and physical support. Give unconditional love. Be willing to forgive. Cheer him on. Make him your champion or hero. Stand with him. Accept him and make sure that he knows that he is accepted and loved. It's definitely tough. Some men are not easy to love. BUT...that is what it takes.

By the way guys, women need love too. They need men to be the hero. It's tough to cheer a wimp on. Stand up. Be your wife's hero and friend. Be strong and tender. Let the same hands that can tear down and destroy buildings be the ones that tenderly touch your wife's hands holding them in simple and unconditional love and acceptance. Strength and power under gentle and precise control is an apt description.

Answer 3

One reason I'm not married, dating, etc.
Even if men are mild-mannered and non-violent, they're still stronger than I am.

But there are many "pointers" to psycho behavior in people----
a childhood marred by a violent father figure, (Ted Bundy, Charles Whitman)
desertion by a parent, especially a mother (Tim McVeigh)
a strict and perfectionist mother and family(Scott Peterson).
Looking at these "infamous" killers, it's usually easy to see the tensions and humiliations these people suffered in childhood that brought them to the point of psychosis.
Mark Hacking suffered a head trauma and this caused many of his problems later, which culminated in the murder of his wife.
Scott Peterson's Mother had already given away 2 of her children, and had no model for healthy family life--Scott was perhaps raised in terror of failing to measure up to her standards, guessing that he, also, might be given away.

Answer 4

You can't.