My now ex-boyfriend (46) and I (37) were dating for 9 months. He's perfect for me in many ways and we love eachother very much, but there are some very important things that just couldn't sync up enough for us to move forward.
He makes bad decisions in his life that lead him to near financial devistation. He also disappears when things get too difficult for him. No return phone calls, e-mails, or text messages. This effects his whole family & professional life.
We've talked about it and he agreed that he needs to work on those things, but he continues to do what ever he wants. I've told him that I couldn't continue dating him if these issues weren't addressed. I'd stand by him if he was at least making an effort with counseling. I've done my best to have understanding, but I'm not getting any younger & I already have a Son.
Am I wrong for shooting a man when he's already down? Is it wrong to require an equal partner in life? Would you wait?
I miss him so much!
2007-03-05 12:45:54 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stick to your guys. I've learned the hard way that you cannot change who someone really is. He is an irresponsible man, and he'll always be irresponsible. You can't change him. If you go back with him, be prepared to clean up his messes for the rest of your life together.
2007-03-05 12:49:50 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is 46 and cant handle financial pressures and hides when things get tough. You would be right to move on. You need someone who can set a good example for your kid. If you pick this man, your child will see that you make bad choices too.
I am a 46 year old male.
Move on.
2007-03-05 20:52:28 · answer #2 · answered by Jolly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he really loves you he'll make an honest effort to change.. he's not going to be perfect.. people like that dont change.. they might get better but they'll still be their same old irresponsible selves.. if you really love him.. you should give him another chance.. but there are tons of millions of people in this world.. and theres got to be one that you'll love just as much but without the problems.. it takes time to find that person though.. good luck.
2007-03-05 20:55:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he keeps doing these things knowing that it upsets u, he may not be for u. he seems to run away from problems, and not work on them. seems as if your both traveling different paths, and that u can't agree on things, if he won't listen to u, it will be hard to make a relationship out of it. he has to want to change, u can't be responsible for him the rest of his life, and if u married him you may be drawn into this financial mess. distance yourself for awhile, see if he makes any changes. if not don't continue the relationship unless u can deal with the things he is doing.
2007-03-05 20:53:43 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I would feel the same as you. He is immature and selfish, and just doesn't want to face up to reality. a shame at his age, really. You will get over him (I know, everybody says that, but you will), and someone wonderful will see the wonderfulness in you, and you will see how much better it is to be with a rational, great, mature man.
2007-03-05 21:29:31 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is probably one of the most rational questions I have ever heard on Y!Answers.
You made a responsible choice and those aren't always easy. Commend yourself for looking out for you and your son!
He's down because he wishes to be. You wouldn't be able to kick him while he was down if he would just do something to pick himself up! Maybe you will be his wake up call.
Good luck girl, hope he grows up and gets it together.
2007-03-05 20:56:39 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not, left hubby few yrs back over same thing, Fortunally for me he straighten up and is trying to make things right....do what is best for you and your son...If he is serious he will change his way of doing!!!I know mine did...but make sure that you stick to your guns,,,,
2007-03-05 20:52:29 · answer #7 · answered by mkys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stand ur ground and if he really loves u he'll make a big effort to change if he doesnt then u dont need him anyway
2007-03-05 20:50:22 · answer #8 · answered by Robert C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i also do that too..i ignore text messages, phone calls, etc when things get difficult. in my case, its not very serious, and doesn't last long. i dont know how serious your boyfriend does this to you but everybody has flaws..your relationship isn't going to be perfect. noones is. tell him that you love him..and maybe you could go to counseling with him? idk if it'd help but if he doesn't want to go by himself, maybe you could go in with him? he might feel embarressed going to counseling.
2007-03-05 20:51:51 · answer #9 · answered by Jay babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
loving is giving, not asking, my dear.. if you really love him no matter what his weaknesses is, still you must understand and accept it.. it's part of his life..
2007-03-05 20:53:23 · answer #10 · answered by snd_jeddah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋