2007-03-05 12:12:34 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
i suppose its just a matter of putting up with it,my 11yr old daughter is the same,answers back,thinks she's the mum of my other 3 children,but as i'm writing this i realise she's not such a bad girl,she's just growing up,i think this is our cue as parents to take a step back,give them a bit of freedom and trust,but if they try to abuse it then i suppose its time to lay some strict rules.
2007-03-05 12:20:40 · answer #1 · answered by stokies 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't want to be unkind but don't you think it's a bit late to start disciplining a kid at 12? Don't treat him like a kid, show that you think of him as being at least a bit mature and so he will want to live up to your expectations. My parents made me be polite to everyone from an early age and taught me to control myself and not act in stupid ways that would just make me feel embarrassed later, so that by the time I was 12 I was reasonably mature and tried to be polite and helpful at home. Just remember this: you are his parent, you don't have to be his best friend. I'm sure he has lots of people to be friends with, you can be friends with him later on but right now he needs a firm hand, show you won't tolerate any nonsense, and you will see how much he will suddenly want to make you happy and proud of him. But at the same time try and keep an open mind, see if you can find out if he's going through a tough time for any particular reason. I know it sounds complicated, but parenting is!
2007-03-05 12:58:25 · answer #2 · answered by canislupus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you remember being 12/13? For me it was one of the hardest times of my life. For everyone it is. So many hormones coming alive in our bodies. I talked to my kids. They knew that I wanted to hear what they had to say. They knew that I would be sympathetic to their problems, I never ever made them feel their problems were little. We took time to have lunches together, just the two of us. I took them shopping, to help with their wavering self esteem. Sometimes all a kid needs is a new pair of pants and top to help them feel better about themselves. Its tough! Just let them know youre there and you care. Show them that. And when youre talking you two will be able to also talk about why he/she has an attitude.
Please just remember no matter what he says, that you are his personal cheer leader in life. They need us behind them. Go Son! =)
When ever I felt the most distant from my children, I realized thats because we were distant. We werent spending any time together....alone time. Sounds so logical but so easily over looked. Good luck. You can help bring a nice, polite child with great potential into this world just by listening to them. Our kids are the neatest people we will ever meet.
Take care.
2007-03-05 12:29:41 · answer #3 · answered by My_Two_Centz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in exactly the same position mate!! My 12 year old has a terrible attitute and bigger cheek than my backside!!!!
However, the answer is not to show them it is a problem to you. I try and hold back all feelings when he is on one and have a system whereby if he says or does anything that is bang outta order he loses so much of his pocket money everytime!! Last week he ended up owing me money cos it got to -£2.00!!! He hated it but has been as good as gold this week, and will still lose the £2.00 he owes me back!!
Its the only method, deprive them of all they like and they soon learn to grow up sensibly!! I have a 22year old and 19 year old and believe me they do not get any easier as they get older, but we get wiser!!!!!!
Good luck hun xx
2007-03-06 00:29:06 · answer #4 · answered by Jaksi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
video tape him being an a.s.s, you need to put him in a situation where all manners and respect should be shown, like a party or just be normal around the house , put the cam out of sight and try to have a normal everyday conversation with him. The next day show him what an a.s.s he was, most likely he will be embarassed, if not try counseling. Maybe there is an alternative cause for his behavior. I am sure it is just his age, in which case, take St. John's wort for yourself and try to get through the next few years. Good luck
2007-03-05 12:21:09 · answer #5 · answered by Denise H 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hi tracy p
You probably have tried confiscating PlayStation/xbox and banning him from his favourite t.v. programmes, but what does he really love to do everyday? Whatever it is....don't let him have it until he learns that rudeness and disrespect is not tolerated!
But maybe there is a reason why he is behaving badly?? School problems perhaps???
I'm not justifying his behaviour, but I feel there is always a reason why children go off the rails....talk to his form teacher, maybe he/she can shed some light... or do something fun with him and try a little digging, he may tell you of a problem while his guard is down!?!
Good luck, remember that it won't last forever ;-p
X
2007-03-05 12:35:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
12 year olds are like 2 year olds. All you can do is be consistent in how you discipline him and pray the good work youve put in for the last 12 years pays off. it normally does.
2007-03-05 12:16:10 · answer #7 · answered by nitenurse 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That age huh! With mine I treated him like an adult when he acted like one. When he acted like a child I treated him like one.
Age 12 and 13 he was terrible. Know age 14 he is, I am proud to say a proper wee gentleman
2007-03-06 09:46:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hate to tell you this but he's growing up and you'll probably have to deal with this type of behaviour for the next few years or so. You could try introducing a rewards and punishment system.
2007-03-05 12:16:25 · answer #9 · answered by Faith 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be lucky he started at 12... my 10 year old daughter is pushing her luck. I threaten her with not being able to go to karate. She loves karate.
2007-03-05 12:17:09 · answer #10 · answered by nease174 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋