I told a friend I am pregnant. She then shared the news with the world! Do I have the right to be angry?

Question

One of the most exciting things about being pregnant is sharing the good news with family and friends. I told a friend that I am expecting, and she immediately called and emailed people that I had not had a chance to tell because I was waiting to do so in person. Now, I feel very cheated out of getting to share my own good news.

I don't think I would mind if she were just casually mentioning it to people she happens to see, but she is deliberately contacting my friends for the expressed purpose of being the first to tell them. My husband says it is my own fault because I didn'ty ask her to keep it a secret. Well, it wasn't a "secret," but I certainly didn't expect her to go out of her way to broadcast an announcement.

I am planning to confront her. Any advice as to what I should say?

Thank You!

Answer 1

I know how you feel to that extent. I told my mom and told her please not to tell. I have been trying for 6 years to get pregnant and so I was very upset when everyone knew. By that time everyone knew. I did tell her I was a upset, and she said she was sorry. It was just that she was so excited for me. I couldn't be mad at her. It makes sense that you would be upset. You will just have to explain to her that it made you upset and you understand why she did it. You might ask her how she would feel if she was in your situation. *LOL* It seems like telling people you are pregnant just doesn't work out how we want it. I realized, the best thing to do is to make sure you don't tell anyone until you want everyone to know and maybe try to throw a get together and tell everyone at once, that way this doesn't happen. Even though I was upset because all my friends and family knew, I made the best of it. First of all, I did have people that mom did not know so I was able to tell them, and second I didn't have to tell 100's of people. The most and important thing was I knew my pregnancy was healthy. I'm sorry it happened and you have every right to feel upset. I think she may have felt like my mom and if she is close like a sister too you, then she may have felt like my mom did. Just let her know it upset you and this is why.

18 weeks pregnant, with first

Answer 2

ok, so right this is my tale. I actually have a 4 month previous female descendant. The day i found out I informed actual everyone. Now i'm six weeks pregnant with toddler #2. I even have informed actual everyone back. i did no longer choose to until now each and every little thing as a results of danger of folk making adverse comments yet i replaced into excited and apprehensive. That and that i in simple terms have a super mouth. you should do what's real for you. bear in mind, God forbid something could desire to ensue to the being pregnant you will ought to tell actual everyone which you informed and that's heartbreaking. Congrats!!!!!

Answer 3

Well maybe u should have told her not to say anything cuz u havent really gotten the chance to tell all the people u wanted to tell
but on the other hand she should have known or even asked u have u told other ppl yet ?
and even if that wasnt said she shouldnt have went around telling ppl so quick
maybe she wanted the attention of getting to tell ppl u were pregnant
but either way u should talk to her and tell her her how u feel about her telling ur friends
but there isnt much u can do now sooooo I would just be careful when telling her news from now on

Answer 4

You aren't going to like my answer but I personally agree with your husband. When I told everyone I was pregnant, my husband and I first told all our family and we also told them not to speak to anyone else, even in the family unless they were in the room with them when we called, before we let them know it was ok to do so. Sounds crazy but our parents are both divorced and we have to be careful that the news came from us presonally so no one got upset. After that was done and we knew everyone in our family knew we called our friends, starting with those closest to us. It was a bit of a military operation but it was the only way to assure no one's feelings were hurt.
I do not think your friend is doing this to "deliberately" upset you as you seem to imply. I know I don't know her obviously but clearly she is just a little over excited about this which in the long run you will see it as something positive, since she must care! If you had told her in no uncertain terms that she was sworn to secrecy until you let her know otherwise, then I can see you being upset. Even then you have to accept that with these things once you let the cat out of the bag it's your own fault but at least then you can be annoyed at her. Since you didn't tell her this, I can't understand why you are going to confront her over this?
Since you seem intent on telling her, which I advise against doing since it's your fault, not hers, just be gentle and say you know she's very excited but would she mind waiting to tell anyone else until you have personally spoke to these friends. Also say that you aren't mad at her but that it was your own fault for not mentioning this to her first. I bet she'd be mortified if she knew how you felt!

Answer 5

Tell that if you wanted the whole world to know you would have put it in the newspaper...You told her the news because you were excited about it but she wasn't a very good friend by gossiping about you. It wasn't her place to spread the news. I guess next time you'll know not to trust her with info. She obviouslly can't be trusted to ever hold a secret.

Answer 6

My mother was extremely secretive about her age. For some reason, this bothered a lot of people. Once, another woman asked her age, and mom casually steered the conversation in another direction. The woman kept asking, and insisted that she should know. Mom leaned very close to her and said, "Can you keep a secret?" The woman nodded emphatically, and replied, "Oh, Yes!" Mom then whispered to her, "So can I".

That said, if you want to keep a secret, tell no one.

Your friend probably is so excited she doesn't realize what she did. You have a right to be upset, if you wanted to spread this news yourself, but once you tell one person, it gets around quick.

Congratulations on your family addition!

Answer 7

Of course you have the right to be angry. One of the fun things about being pregnant is getting to tell everyone yourself that you are pregnant and I kind of know how you feel..I have a 2 year old son and when I found out I was pregnant my mother told everyone, she called up everyone she could think of and told them and it angered me alot not to mention that she went around telling people about my babies dad, including people we did not even know such as doctors and nurses that saw me. It angered me a lot.

I would call her ASAP to tell her that she should not of had told anyone and it was your right to do that not hers and ask her how she would feel if she found out she was pregnant say a week from now and she told someone and that person told every person before she could, I bet she would not like it one bit.

Hopefully she has not told every single person you know so that atleast you can tell some people about your pregnancy yourself.

Answer 8

"Friend, I'm glad you are so happy about my good news, but just like I enjoyed telling you, I was looking forward to sharing it with others myself. I'm disappointed that you didn't give me that opportunity."
If you must, go ahead and tell her that, but I wouldn't let it taint my joy. The people she tells will want to call you or email you for confirmation. Just let your joy out then and don't let this cloud your blessed event! Be happy! Congratulations! She didn't get to me first! LOL!
Stay calm and joyous. Your baby will develop better.

Answer 9

just tell her you are very hurt. explain to her that it is the most exciting news you have had in your life and you couldnt wait to share it with your friends. tell her she has taken that away from you now and it is something you can never get back.

i would then tell her that you are not going to include her in anymore big news anymore and that you will tell everyone else to do the same.

Answer 10

I think I would feel cheated too - you're right, it's fun to get to tell people. I guess when all is said and done, you have to feel sorry for her; she seems to be so desperate for attention that she'd steal from the "big moment" of someone who's supposed to be her friend. And as the old saying goes - "With friends like this, who needs enemies?"

I think I'd have to re-evaluate my friendship with such a person; you need a REAL friend while you're expecting, not a headline-grabber.