Need your serious and honest advise in here!! anyone had the same experience? what comes next???

Question

I'm falling in love with my co-worker and said she loves me as well but we're both married and got kiddos, my wife and I are working in the same company and rumor are spreading rapidly about us.'felt I'm being use as she's looking for some attention her husband cannot give.my marriage life is not that perfect as well.one time (just 1) something happened between us. I'm getting confuse that I need some advise!!!

Answer 1

Yep, been there, although I was the girl in the relationship. We never said we loved each other, but close enough. We were together one time also, and we both have little kids. All I know is that I ended up getting hurt because he decided he loved his family and they were more important than the fun we could have. He was right, of course, and we're both working on our marriages now. It took a few weeks of feeling like we were breaking up, some tears, a lot of heartache, but we're able to be friends and talk about our marriages with each other. We know more about each other than most people, so we're comfortable talking about personal things now. I care about him deeply, but would it have been worth it for me to throw my life away? To ruin my child's life? Sometimes I think I could've been happier, but I know no matter what life won't ever be perfect and we should deal with the decisions we've made. If you aren't happy with your wife, either talk to her and work on yourself and your marriage, or decide to leave. It's too hard to stay in a marriage while cheating. And, if your mistress is only using you you're just going to get hurt. My guy was only using me because his wife wasn't sleeping with him, as soon as she started to again, he was done with me. Don't let youself get into that situation, or get out as soon as you can. It just makes you feel even worse about everything.
Don't let people on here put you down, you're not a bad person, these things happen. Make sure your life is as good as you can make it, whatever that means for you.

Answer 2

Look....you both can tell eachother that your unhappy in your marriages and then try to justify what you are about to do or what you already did but I can tell you this much....someone is going to get hurt and that is a promise. I've been there and got the Tshirt.....and it turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. I too thought my husband wasn't giving my son or me any attention so I thought this other guy would be the fix. That was such a huge mistake and 2 years later I am still paying for it. You not only could lose your wife and kids as she could lose hers but also you both could be jeopordizing your jobs. You both are no different in what you are going thru in your marriages than probably most marriages go thru. Step up to the plate and be a good person and do the right thing because I promise you, a year from now you are going to wish you never went there. I know of no one who has ever had an affair and glad they did it. This instant gratification is what it is....instant and then it is over except it isn't over, this is where all the pain begins.

Answer 3

What is it exactly that you're asking here....are you wanting us to say it's all fine so go ahead....sorry hun, can't say that to you.....you need to be sorting stuff out with er indoors really don't you....you're already feeling as though maybe you're being used for the attention your co-worker isn't getting at home....be carefull you don't go messing up an otherwise good marriage for the sake of just putting a bit of spice in your life. A lot of people & "kiddos" stand to be hurt here. Imagine if your wife did this to you, how would you feel about that? come on sweetie, most marriages [especially when children are involved] go through some boring times & lack some excitement.....this is where you need to be spicing things up a bit but not with other women.....with your wife.

Answer 4

Of course you are getting confused the co-worker you are falling for is making you feel something you probably have not felt in a while she is meeting a need you have. You are probably also meeting a need she has.

However, you also have a wife and kids. If you are unsure about how you feel about your wife that is normal in this situation. Before you make a quick decision you need to leave your co-worker alone and focus on your wife and family. Make every effort to make your marriage work. Then if all your efforts fail you will be able to say you gave it all you could.

If you leave your wife now and go with your co-worker your new relationship will have serious stress. Plus if your co-worker is willing to leave her husband for you, will she be willing to leave you when someone else comes along?

Try to work things out with your wife. Maybe you need to go to counseling. Just give it a shot. Best of wishes.

Answer 5

You must ask yourself how much you love your wife. Think deeply about the consequences BEFORE you do something you may regret for the rest of your life. Think about it: How much do you love your wife? What would happen with your kids? How much are you willing to sacrifice for these so-called "feelings". Even if you acted on your feelings, STOP right there!! It's not fair for your wife to be treated like that and there are no excuses to justify your behavior. All you can do know is figure out what your co-worker thinks about this. Are you both willing to give your marriages for each other? Are your fellings real? Or is it just the idea of sneaking around that intrigues you? Really think about it and ask yourself because either way, you've already hurt someone. The question is, how much more do you want to hurt them?

Answer 6

Chances are what you are really feeling here is the thrill of the idea of being in love again and all the excitement that the affair could bring into your life. Just like being teenagers all over again. Remember its not having what you want but wanting what you have. What makes you actually think that you could hold onto a long term relationship with this girl when in reality, you cant even keep your present relationship thrilling and romantic with the same girl you thought was the "one"not so long ago. Called infatuation with the idea. Better get back into reality and nip this in the bud especially at work before it costs you everything youve got. Think seriousily about it.

Answer 7

I am sorry but it is the lowest of the low to go with somebody else's wife. Just because her husband doesn't give her any attention it doesn't mean to say that you have to. Keep well out of what could potentially be a situation where everybody will end up getting hurt. Do the decent thing and split with your wife in a dignified manner. There is nothing worse than being the last to know that your partner is messing around with someone else.

Answer 8

You are going to find yourself much poorer soon..1/2 of your possessions will disappear to your ex wife. And you will find the grass is the same on the other side of the fence once you have the lawn. Funny .... when all you have to do is gaze at another, make love to another, never fight, never have to do their laundry or cook their food, how very easy it is to "love" them. Like Fool's Gold, your hands will be empty soon of all you have held dear in life. I am not saying stay with your wife, but for pete's sake, don't think that the next will be different ... living with someone knocks the glamor off the old relationship...it actually becomes real! I guess you are not dealing with reality very well. Good luck

Answer 9

You need to sort out what is wrong in your marriage first and if its not going well then you need to end things with your wife before you start with anyone else. Go with your gut feeling with this one because you mention that the co worker maybe using you. The other thing you got to consider is, this is a place of work for you and your wife. so please spare a thought for your wife that has to work there as well. she will hear the rumours and may feel unhappy working in that environment. she will feel humiliated and you will lose the respect of your other co workers!!
yes I know its easy to have feelings for someone you work with.
the same thing happen to me. I have started to have feelings for a colleague. But what keeps me from acting on them is I think of my marriage and the hurt my husband will feel and the end of a good marriage and struggling to live on my own, paying off a mortgage!!

Answer 10

This has never happened to me...but i will try to comment.
First of all...you got married for a reason right? Hopefully because you loved each other and not because she was pregnant.
You and your fling partner are in the wrong...Lets say you leave your wife for this girl...who's to say she wont get bored of you and move on again.
My advice...MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WORK!
No relationship is perfect and just because you get married doesnt mean you're never gonna have problems. Marriage is something that has to be worked at. No one is perfect. Communication & Compromise are so important it's not all about you and its not all about her...you're a team now.
Get yourself some marriage counseling...and if THAT doesnt work..then you have tried your best.
Unless you have better reason for leaving your current wife, I suggest you stay away from the other girl.
Is it worth it for your kids to see their Mommy crushed?