this is serious guys,i met my wife throught a family member,at first we got along well but after we got married we just argue about the very stupid things, i can't live with her but what i know is that she loves me very much.i don't know what to do it is hard for me to tell her that i want divorce,now i'm waiting for her to say so because i think i'm not strong enough to say it. i like her family they are realy nice to and that on of the reasons i can't do it.please some advice
2007-03-05 12:00:29 · 9 answers · asked by filaha1984 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well alot of unanswered questions but I will have to make an assumption you are childless.. Marriage is very tough and life is equally as tough so the first thing i suggest you do is to give yourself time to understand the feelings you are going through. Many times in a marriage, your feeling change back and forth a few times, so don't panic, this may just be an adjustment period you are going through. When money gets low and the things don't go exactly as planned life gets even tougher.. You had this dream that just isn't completely there yet.. Is it ever going to be there?? Probably not in the same form as you had hoped but nothing goes exactly as planned. This is not a tragic thing though.. Peoples feelings change alot throughout a marriage. I guess the most important thing you should be asking yourself is this.. Do you love her, is she your best friend and can you live the rest of your life with this girl? NEVER EVER ask yourself this during or right after a disagreement.. Ask yourself this when times are quiet and settled.. If you do then you should stay and try and work on the differences you both probably have..Ofcourse this will take some time... If you don't.. you need to end the relationship.. But before you should ever talk to your wife about this make sure you are sure what you want the results to be.. Remember you will never be able to take back what you say and the hurt will always be carried with her.
The next suggestion I have is never ever talk to your friends over this as they sometimes will give you advise that is not in your best interest. Remember they are your friends and want you to be happy BUT their happiness sometimes is not your happiness. I'm sure they will want to help but again.. how much can you help the situation when you only know one side of the problem?
Maybe sit down and talk with her family and ask them for their opinion? just hope they respect you for coming to them and will keep this just between you and them.. They may know more about what is going on then you do..
Next suggestion is against most peoples beliefs but NEVER EVER go to a marriage counselor.. I don't believe a persons life and feelings can be fairly evaluated by book or a study preformed. This is your life and hopefully it's unique.. It's not someones study or is it something that any outsider can help with.. It's between two people and two people only and whos the blame is not anyones judgement. I've heard more damage done from marriage counselors than good so I suggest staying as far away from them as possible. Take note.. Marriage counselors many times have a bad marriage themselves...
The answer you are looking for is not a simple one, so just spend the time and think.. Remember how you felt and think about how you feel now.. Allow for change and YOU decide what YOU want.. Whatever you do.. be kind to her and try to resolve the problem not run from it. If you decide you need to end it.. do it with your heart and don't toss blame on her or yourself.. Don't toss in her face her mistakes as we all make them or blame her for the problem.. This problem is created by the both of you and I will bet you both have a few things neither of you are proud of.. If you end it.. do it in the same manner you met her as FRIENDS
2007-03-05 12:41:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its seriously time to sit down and discuss going to a marriage counselor. It sounds like you've got some mixed feelings, and if you're in this marriage simply to keep her happy, it's just going to come unraveled eventually anyway. You'll end up feeling resentful and that's not the way anyone should feel when they're supposed to love the person they're with.
Please, for your sake and for that of your wife, go get some therapy for the two of you. Even if it ends up that you split up, the counseling will help her to accept her position in this matter. And it may help you to realize that things may not be as hopeless as they seem.
Good luck.
2007-03-05 12:06:57 · answer #2 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I f you cared about your wife at all you would be a man and tell her that you want a divorce so that she doesn't have to waste her time with a man that she thinks wants her and loves her as much as she loves you.TELL HER NOW!you owe her this much.Plus you need to be strong and honest with yourself it wouldn't be right to stay with her if you aren't happy.It IS kind of sad though i hope you guys don;t have kids.
2007-03-05 12:09:23 · answer #3 · answered by sweetsmiles69@jennieask-me 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you don't love her you owe it to her to be honest and tell her. then she can move on with her life and find someone who does. and you owe it to yourself to tell her so you can also move on. life is too short to be spending tome in a relationship you don't want to be in. so just tell her. chances are if things are going as badly as you say she feels the same way. come on, be a man, step up to the plate and let her off the hook!!!
2007-03-05 12:05:51 · answer #4 · answered by heather l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you both tried a marriage counselor??
And another question, who is doing all the arguing, people I know that love each other very much, don't argue.
Perhaps a counselor by yourself first may help you.
good luck
2007-03-05 12:04:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
talk talk talk or set her up with your coworker you hate then take pics and take em to court with ya.
2007-03-05 12:36:53 · answer #6 · answered by I race cars 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your so pathetic your asking this on yahoo
go to a marriage conselour or something
or TALK to her
stupid i hope she divorces you as s
2007-03-05 12:03:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Good she don't need you.
2007-03-05 12:33:27 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
is she cute?
2007-03-05 12:03:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋