2007-03-05 11:42:19 · 17 answers · asked by babyherc1r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wife and i suffered navy at begin of marriage. then her mom died. mine on crack. lost 19 yr old sis. lost best friend. ended up on meds we should of never been on. wife cheated on me 2wice. i went to jail for beating her for 4 months . both us went to marriage counseling and went to individual counseling. i went to 4 anger managment classes. went to individual and maritial counseling 2wice. talked to both families alot about it. wife is 21 im 27. long long story. met online. thought she was my age. talked for 5 months before i realized she lied about age to get on personals. then talked via letters and phone for 5 months then got married. thought wed do well together but we dont face to face. wife is bi sexusal and smokes ciggeretts. im a saved born again christian and shes not. wife spent all our money and ran up all the bills. wife wont work. wife wont get up early. wife wont talk much. wife wont talk to my fAmily. had to ask a divorce every time she refused counseling. no romance.
2007-03-05 11:55:43 · update #1
If you put this to some twangy music, it has all the makings of the saddest country song EVER!!!
2007-03-05 12:02:04 · answer #1 · answered by ♥♥Mrs SSG B♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Derrick-how are you two not getting along? Arguing all the time? That is not good. What are you arguing about? Money? That is what a lot of couples-especially married couples-argue about. You both need to agree to a budget, and stick to it. No, neither one of you can go out, buy a boat, fancy car, etc. without the ok from the other first, and even then, only when you can afford it. Are the two of you getting any time for the two of you- away from work and your children? Like, a date. Having someone watch your kids for you, the two of you go to dinner, movie, for a walk, a picnic, etc. Have you tried counseling? Do you two just spend some quiet time at home once the kids are in bed, to talk, about all kinds of thing? Your dreams, etc? I wish the two of you the best. Take care.
2007-03-05 20:30:27 · answer #2 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you've tried everything, so what else can you do? I think maybe a trial separation, give yourselves some air, and see what happens when your apart for a month or two, sometimes a new perspective is what you both need. Alone time without each other makes you see things differently, sometimes that is. Yes, it's hard on the kids, but it's also hard on the kids to see two parents who don't love each other stay together, and be miserable, it usually can mess the kids up in relationships later on, fearing commitment, and treating their spouses like they see you treat each other. There is no easy answer, but try trial separation first, both of you decide not to see anybody else, you both live in separate housing, and you both take responsibility for the kids equally. Last resort Call Doctor Phil.........Then you've tried everything....
2007-03-05 19:59:22 · answer #3 · answered by K_Seeks4Answers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,You haven't tried everything.My wife and i had the same problem.What worked for us,was to turn our lives over the the Lord Jesus Christ.Now the children,my wife and i talk to each other,we Laugh together,My wife and i even have meaningful sex.We believe that God turned our lives around put us on the right path to a better life together.If you too really want to save this marriage,then you as the man,the head of your household start to make that change in your life.Get yourself,your family into a bible believing,bible teaching church.Make a conscious decision to turn your will and your life over to God,then you will see the change in you,your wife,and your children.
2007-03-05 20:18:59 · answer #4 · answered by Willnotlietoyou 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if your children are witnessing all of this crap.. you need to be apart from one another but that means leaving on good terms.. you both must agree that it's over and it's for the better and you must never ever argue in front of your children- if your children can see the two of you apart and happy and civil to one another it will be much better for them than seeing you yelling and argueing or ignoring and hating one another... I'm really against divorce but your situation.. wow.. I have been married for almost five years with two children and i am 24 and my husband is 27... it's hard sometimes but if you really love them then you haven't tried everything.. good luck.
2007-03-05 20:09:04 · answer #5 · answered by mathma2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why cant you two get along after 5 years? Have you tried counseling yet ? You need to try for your kids. I need to know more about what is going on here to tell you what i think you should do.
2007-03-05 19:51:13 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop agueing.
Stop trying to be right all the time .
have a central goal in mind that both of you want!
Your not working on your marriage you asking permission to leave it!
Marriage is never easy , but it does work if you apply honesty and love to situation, and stop trying to be the BOSS!
Let go and try and go with an idea or two of hers.
2007-03-05 19:48:59 · answer #7 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep trying. Are you sure you tried EVERYTHING? Are you sure you just don't want to call it quits because it's too hard to figure out? Kids get messed up by divorce. If anything be determined to make it work for the kids.
2007-03-05 19:45:56 · answer #8 · answered by AmandaHugNKiss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't get along, and you have tried everything to work it out, but havent been able to, then you should leave. Don't stay together just for the children's sake, but also don't cut them out of your life.
2007-03-05 19:55:21 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel you have tried everything and still not getting along, why would you want to stay together? Separate for a time and see what happens...good luck
2007-03-05 19:53:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋