I am having a very hard time adjusting from going from an abusive/drama filled relationship to a healthy normal one.
I dont feel like my love for my current boyfriend is as strong and intense as it was for my abusive ex who was fired as a police officer for assault.
The bf I have now is caring, genuine, trustworthy, hot, great job humourous, and just all in all good hearted and my ex was a jerk but when things were great things were out of this world but things werent great very often...
Is there any advise you can give me about my new relationship....I feel as though something is missing. This is the 1st relationship where I am not jealous or mis-trusting
Thanks!
2007-03-05 11:14:04 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Take a look at this man as if he is the best thing that has ever happened to you. Treat him as the great guy he is and how you would want to be treated. Spend alot of time trying to make his life great and give give give. If you are busy being this nice to him and thinking that he is this great man that you love and adore then he will treat you very loving and the relationship should go well and you will see how he is the best. You left the other guy so stop trying to compare the new guy to him. Both guys are different. How would you like it if he was thinking that his last girlfriend was way better then you?
2007-03-05 11:23:43 · answer #1 · answered by Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going from an abusive relationship to a normal is a big change in environment. Passion can seem heightened in an abusive relationship. However, its all that negative energy.
Finding a new healthy passion is the way to go. Give yourself more time and see if the two of you can bring up the healthy passion - like that talked about in the Songs of Solomon.
2007-03-05 19:20:49 · answer #2 · answered by Sly Girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many times people gain a False sense of dependability or trust
with some one who has either abused or dominated over them.
it is a False sense of Security. People have even been known to
Fell this way when they are victims of a violent crime and their abductors or attackers trigger an emotion that Falsely makes the victim feel an attraction or dependency. You have a nice guy now
and there may be a wall up that your prior abuse has attached to you, wok with your new friend and together you can bring the wall down. Either case, do get someone you trust to help you break the False Bond that you may feel toward your Ex.
2007-03-05 19:29:04 · answer #3 · answered by Justme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the drama of an abusive relationship can make you feel like the relationship is intense but its not. Try to stick to this new relationship and see if things get better.
2007-03-05 19:33:56 · answer #4 · answered by Adelaide V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to consult a professional. You sound as though you still have many issues to deal with from your abusive relationship.
Find a good counselor, explore your past feelings and your present feelings, the differences in the relationships, learn HOW to have a healthy relationship, etc.
Or you will continually make the same mistakes over and over.
2007-03-05 19:24:47 · answer #5 · answered by Nepetarias 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You went from a very intense to a more laid back relationship....you probably believed your ex loved you because he got mad so easy and very aggresive with you and you probably liked that intense it made you feel loved but there is a reason why you guys arent together n e more b/c he was like that and you realized that it was unhealthy......give your self a chance to adjust to the difference and open up your eyes and let yourself see what real love is....
2007-03-05 19:25:07 · answer #6 · answered by Baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit back, relax and enjoy the ride honey!
I too was in a very bad relationship before the one I am in now. It takes time to get used to being treated like a queen but it feels great! It took me two years to get over my ex and today I wonder why it ever bothered me at all....I am very happy with my "good" guy and we have been together for over 2 years...Keep the good one you deserve it!
2007-03-05 19:30:20 · answer #7 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the 1st guy was the best guy if you even need to ask that question.
2007-03-06 16:04:57 · answer #8 · answered by нσℓℓуωσσ∂ ηєνєя ℓσσкє∂ тнιѕ gσσ∂ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe the 1st guy was the one for you. not the awsome new guy.
2007-03-05 19:18:17 · answer #9 · answered by nvillarreal07 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋