Mommies, I need Help!!?

Question

Any Mother's out there I need help. My Lovely friend just had her 1st baby ( a Girl) and she is going through deep depression. She is always sad which leads to crying, Always worring about what people think and just unsure of alot of things. I am not a mother so I can only give so much advice. Is there something she can read up on do to help her cope I'm really worried.

Answer 1

I didn't go through that myself but I understand that Brook Shield's book is a good one about post natal depression, it's called 'Down Came the Rain' - or something like that.

Answer 2

I would suggest you keep an eye on her just to make sure she doesn't start getting agressive. Some women end up hurting their baby by accident. What she is going through IS a medical condition that can be treatable. Its called postpartum and many new mommies get at least a little depressed. Think about it her body has gone through hell (and might look it), she hasn't gotten a good night sleep in a while, she's sleepy all the time now, no energy to what she wants, and has to care of a helpless little baby 24/7. Not an easy thing to do.

Here's what you can do for starters:

Go to the library and check out some books on postpartum depression. Read through a few to pick out which ones you think will be helpfull

Next talk to your friend and tell her that what she is going through is actually very normal and there is a lot of help out there for her. Show her the books and point out some of the stuff you read. (I belive that there are some suport groups but she should see the doctor if she is crying at least 1-2 times a week.)

You should at least ask her if she would like profesional help. (she would see her regular doc first then a refferal if needed) But if she says no the just drop it and just be her personal support.

Finally this will help the most. Ask her if she would like to take a nice long bath and maybe do her nails or take a nap while you take care of the baby. Just make sure you ask exactly how to care of the baby and if she breast feeds ask if she can pump milk so you don't have to bother her. OR if taking care of baby is not your thing offer to clean the house (the more the better) and maybe even dinner??

Hope this helps at least a bit.

Answer 3

I am going through this myself... it's post-partum depression. My doctor had me fill out a questionnaire and then gave me a score based on my answers. She then concluded that I have post-partum depression and prescribed an antidepressant for a few months. I've been on it for a month now and feel so much better. I haven't read any books yet, but here is a list of books I found at Amazon.com:

This Isn't What I Expected: Overcoming Postpartum Depression by Karen Kleiman

Down Came the Rain: My Journey Through Postpartum Depression by Brooke Shields

Beyond the Blues: A Guide to Understanding And Treating Prenatal And Postpartum Depression by Shoshana S., Ph.D. Bennett

The Mother-to-Mother Postpartum Depression Support Book by Sandra Poulin

Nurturing the Family The Guide for Postpartum Doulas by Jacqueline Kelleher

Also, just being there as a shoulder to cry on is a big help on your part. Tell her to go to the doctor ASAP!!!! Offer to take her if you can and if she needs it, and help her care for the baby while she's in with the doctor.

Answer 4

Poor thing! It is normal to go through a "post partum" depression for a few weeks after having a baby. Hormones are rebalancing but, I think mostly it is just a huge adjustment! Sleep deprevation plays a big part in this too. Even the best prepared moms can be overwhelmed. Family and friend support with housework, meals, errands etc. can be very helpful. If the depression lasts much longer than that especially if it is still a struggle at her 6 week checkup, she needs to talk to her doctor. Depression is a illness and can become serious. It is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. Good Luck!

Answer 5

While a book is a great idea what she could probably really use is an ear, a hand, and a car. An ear to listen to her problems and not judge, a hand cleaning the house or watching the baby (even if just for 30 minutes), and a car to get you and her out of the house and make her feel like a normal person again. Most moms feel like they have to be super mo and do everything and that isn't true. That should help a ton... but if not help her gather her strength to see a doctor who can help her. While a book can help her realize a problem a doctor or therapist can help her solve it.

Answer 6

She could be going through post partem depression which means it is a mental problem. Tell her to talk to her doctor and get some medication for it as a lot of women that go through this harm the child. If you can try to form a support group of your friends to help her out with the baby to give her a brake to go for a walk or to a movie or even to do her shopping. She needs professional help though in the worst way!

Answer 7

your friend really should see a doctor as soon as possible.. postpartum depression is very serious... it's not her fault that she feels like that and the sooner that she can get help the better it will be for herself and for her baby. I was lucky enough to not have to deal with postpartum depression after either of my children.. but I have dealt with depression before and it's not just an emotional state.. depression is a neurological disorder where there is a chemical imbalance in the brain.. her doctor will do tests to determine wether she just has the "baby blues" or if she really needs to get on some medication.. if you need any other info email me at [e-mail]

Answer 8

How soon did she have her baby? If it was within the past two weeks, this may pass. 70% of new mothers experience this for a day to two weeks. I had it bad for two weeks, and then, boom, I was back to normal. I thought "What did I get myself into? I won't have ANY time for me every again?" I was incredibly overwhelmed with daily life. My husband came home to me crying in the bathtub one night.

My hospital had a lactation consultant call me to check up on breastfeeding. One of the questions she started with was "Are you crying or sad for no reason?" Perhaps that would be a good resource to start with for you or her. They may be able to direct you to a person in your area that can help her face to face.

check out these two sites for educated help
www.postpardumdepressionhelp.com
www.postpardum.com


I wish her the very best, and hope she don't have to deal with her negative feelings for long.

Answer 9

It sounds like she may be having post partum depression issues. The best thing you can do for her is to let her know that you think she is having PPD issues and ask her to call her obgyn. This is a very hard thing to do. I know because I had to do it for a friend. But it is very important for her sake and the baby's sake. It may feel like you are telling your friend that she is "crazy" but you are not. Just be compassionate and caring and that will come through to her. Post partum women are sometimes not thinking straight and they need a good friend to tell them when to get help. Good luck!

Answer 10

Be a good friend and support her. Encourage her to talk to her doctor. I had problems after the birth of my second child. It is hard to deal with things when you are so emotionally drained or just out of it. Please have her talk to her doctor so they know whats going on... they can advise her what to do and how to start to get things back to normal.

Not all women get postpartum depression but some do. It is serious and as we have all seen in the news it can be a very dangerous thing. Good luck to you and your friend.