Fiance says he doesn't want to be with me.?

Question

Last night, my fiance started yelling at me for no reason at all (literally) because he said we didn't do anything he wanted to do (but he doean't tell me what he wants) Well, later he told me he doesnt' want to be tied down, and he doesn't want to be with me or any girl, he wants to be free. I told him okay, but then later he said he didn't mean all of that, he just was upset because he said we didn't do enough that he wanted. I told him we'd do more of what he wanted, but now i'm really worried about all the things he said. I wonder if he really just wants to be single, or if it was just because he was upset and in a bad mood. (he admitted to that). I love him and he says he loves me, but now i don't know what to do. Should i keep trying to make thing work, even though i'm so worried that's how he feels (even though he says it isn't) and that he might leave me? or is there any way to help him control his anger so that maybe he won't say things he doesn't mean just because he's mad?

also, i'm not sure if maybe he's like this because we've been engaged for almost a year, but have no date set yet. He's been stressed out because of money so i keep telling him we'll wait to get married, but he wants to as soon as possible. which is stressing him out more.

Answer 1

Hun listen,

if he loves you he wouldn't put you through that. there is not supposed to be fighting and frustration to get married and be with the one you really love, it sounds like he's not mature enough to handle you and the whole marriage thing, even tho he might be sorry for what he says, but his actions are speaking, he's letting you know he's not ready and i dont want you to marry him and then it end up In divorce for no reason. would you want to be married to him when he yells at you for no reason, although he says it's because you dont do what he wants..that will always be a problem with or without marriage. please make sure you truly KNOW WHO he is before you tied down. marriage happens because you want to get married, no fear of loosing each other or feeling of being tied down. if he loves you as much as he says he does then you should wait until your older, you have your whole life together, why get married so fast. just think about things.


He wants to feel the need to control you and the situation and for you to feel guilty about it, then once you do he feels sorry for doing it. he's not certain if this is what he wants.

Answer 2

Haven't heard any age group here but I would bet you two are young and somewhat immature. If you two are having these fights and discussion's I would hold out on marriage. It's hard enough on us mature people. I think that you both need to take a step back and look at what each one of you want out of life. I'm not saying break up or anything, just take a chill pill for a while. If it is meant to be that you two spend the rest of your lives together it will happen. Don't get into something you both will regret later.

Answer 3

If he said it, he prob. meant it and now he is just using excuses cause he doesn't want to be the "bad guy" and break up the engagement. Have you already arranged everything for the wedding? Maybe he doesn't want the hassle of having to cancel a wedding. But, he could just be getting nervous. Marriage is forever and he may not be sure he is ready for that.

Answer 4

He wants to get married, he wants to break up because everything has to be your way.

He wants you to change, he doesn't think you will, he's attached, and he's on an emotional roller-coaster and not making any sense at all.

He hasn't left you (action), but he's thinking about it. Not sure what is going on here based on what you have told us so far, but he's confused to be certain.

Answer 5

i would step back and let him have a break, he may be scared or maybe he is looking for a way out. if he is this way now getting married will not change

Answer 6

i would get out of the relationship now, he just is not ready for the marriage thing