The cheater and the cheated on?

Question

Judging from the questions and answers here you would think that cheaters only cheat on people who never cheat. If this is true, I wonder why.

My question is, do you think this is the case and somehow cheaters only seek out non cheaters for a relationship? Or do you think a good number of those talking about getting cheated on aren't admitting that they are cheaters themselves?

Answer 1

Everybody is capable of cheating on someone. Its the person who has been cheated on ,who knows what it feels like, hence probably doesn't need to cheat to find out it doesnt feel good in the long run. I do think that there are a lot of people out there who have cheated and would never admit it in a million years because they have learned the style of lying and getting away with it. Or they have learned to believe their own lies. "Its not really cheating"......

Answer 2

I think that you are making up something that is simply not there. You can't divide people into two categories: cheaters and non-cheaters, it does not make any sense. It's like saying that there are angels and demons amongst us. Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. People act depending on their state of mind. If you would have known differently then - you would have done differently. Life brings us different experiences and people cope with them the way they can. For example, if someone thinks that it's okay to marry for money - they don't do it because they are evil - their mentality brought them to believe that this is the only option they will be happy with. That's why I don't judge anybody and don't advise others to do so.

Answer 3

I think what happens in most cases is that the people who come here are non-cheaters----and that the other half of a cheating couple who ALSO cheats, just doesn't bother with a site like this.

Answer 4

It takes one to know one, right? Well really I am sure there is a balance. Not everyone cheats on their spouse, but there is always a first and most people wont hit on a married person, hence the cheater changing the non cheater...to be the cheater..... The excitement....the unknown... gets exciting, and adventurous... till the guilt hits...

Answer 5

I was cheated on and still after 7 yrs i still would not cheat on another man or even the same man because i beleive that i am better than that , and 2 wrongs dont make a right.I think the type of people that would cheat are the type of people that beleive they dropped on someone that will never find out.But honest people always find out the truth,because they are clever at the same time as being naive.And not stupid.

Answer 6

Certainly, in some marriages, both are unfaithful. I really don't think non cheaters have an aura that cheaters pick up on, which attracts them, so they can marry them and cheat. It's barely possible some neglect to mention that they've also cheated in their question.

Answer 7

Personally I think some are telling untruths, perhaps not outright lies, but not the full truth. I think most people at some point in their lives cheat. Perhaps on a boyfriend/girlfriend, or a spouse, or just a good friend. Cheating equals betrayal and you don't have to use your sex organs to do that.

The ones that make me smile are the ones who protest that their loved one would NEVER cheat, and that they would NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS cheat on their loved one. Then they start throwing around derogatory language and judgmental comments.

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks." Hamlet (III, ii, 239)

I've not been an angel in my past, and I'm not hiding my skeletons in a closet. If someone can learn from my mistakes and not make the same ones themselves then I'll take the thumbs down ratings for my life being on full view for the world to see.

Answer 8

this is a very good question...i love questions that make you think. well, i think karma causes it to be pretty balanced. i'm sure there are people out there that have done their share of cheating, and then have been cheated on. and i'm sure there are people out there that have been cheated on, and then have been the cheaters.

speaking from experience though, i think those that cheat regularly seek those that have never been cheated on. being one that has been cheated on and never cheated, i'd say there is an innocence about us...one that these people can spot out and prey on.

looing back on it, i'm actually kind of glad that i was cheated on. it forced me to realize that no one is perfect, and you can't just put someone on a pedastal becuase you THINK they should be on one. you should know that they belong there because they deserve to be there. being cheated on also made me more concious of who not to fall for. everyone is different, but i tend to see patterns with guys that like to "play games" as i call it. don't get me wrong; there is nothing with dating multiple women or men for that matter. the thing most men fail to realize is all women want is for them to be honest. let us know that we're not the only ones from the onset. that way, we're the ones making the decision whether or not we feel like dating you. there's no confusion that way.

i feel that most relationships that end in "we broke up cuz he/she cheated" are the ones where there is absolutely no communication; or no healthy communication at least. communication solves confusion and prevents drama. i think that if there was healthy communication between me and my ex, we would still be in each other's lives. but because there wasn't and i felt there would never be, he had to go.

Answer 9

I think that, even cheaters, go into most good relationships with the intent NOT to cheat, and then something happens; they get around a co-worker or friend who is able to lure them into wanting to be sexual with them, or the relationship begins to get rocky, so these people try to find someone else to satisfy their basic instinct. And sometimes their spouse may cheat also, but a lot of times I think that a weak person marries a strong person, and the stronger person is able to avoid temptation better, therefore, do not cheat.

Answer 10

It happens all kinds of ways. I was cheated on and that is a thing I would never consider doing. If your unhappy in a relationship you get out first. But I also know someone who cheated and later their wife cheated on him. I know of someone right now that are dating and they both cheated on their previous partners before getting together publicly. I figure they deserve each other and will probably cheat on each other eventually, I do know the man has went out with someone else after making a so called commitment to his mistress. It seems so sad.