I know a guy who I concider a friend and I was curious if he could be gay. He has never had a real girlfriend. When me and my friend Anthony, asked him if he was gay, he avoided the question. He dosn't really concider anyone to be his real friend even though he does have a few. He acts very strange and dosn't like to talk to me or Anthony any more. Anthony seems to think he might be gay but I have my doubts. But I do feel there might be somthing there. He seems so alone and when me and Anthony try to make him happy he dosn't like to talk to us. How can I help him??? Is it possible that he is gay???
2007-03-05 10:03:01 · 8 answers · asked by Simple Love 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
My friend Anthony is gay and seems to think he has an eye for these things. We are in high school.
2007-03-05 10:04:42 · update #1
We haven't talked about the gay thing since then but are just trying to make him happy. We just don't like seeing him so sad. I wasn't really sure about the gay thing but Anthony thought that might be it one time so he asked him. Some of the guys other friends have also mentioned that they weren't sure of his sexual orrientation.
2007-03-05 10:20:00 · update #2
It is possible that he is gay, but either from a family that he knows will reject him if he is gay --- or from faith community that makes him feel he is evil for what he is feeling.
It can be very, very hard for some of our little ones. It is sad.
Thank you very much for trying to care for him. You and Anthony too. The best thing you can do is tell him you don't think he is bad no matter what and be his friends whether he wants you to be or not. He will get over himself, but I would bet he is very afraid, for one reason or another, right now.
Kindest thoughts,
Reyn
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
PS for the record, several people I know on here suspect that some of your other answerers may not be as they appear........... Just so you don't put too much stock in what they say.
2007-03-05 10:11:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, I was going to say he probably wasn't gay, just weird (not because gay is weird, but because he sounded like a really anti-social person), until I read the part about you still being in high school. If you're still in high school, it's possible that he's gay, but still struggling with those feelings himself, or maybe just not comfortable coming out yet. It was probably a bad idea to ask him if he was gay, but the fact that he avoided an answer is a sign that he's probably at least thinking that he might be. You have to give him his space about that or you could make him uncomfortable, even if you're just trying to offer support. Instead of pushing the gay issue, just try to be friends with him like you were before it was ever mentioned. Try not to let him withdraw by himself, he might be depressed about his situation, which might be the cause of his behavior. Chances are this is the time that he most needs support and friendship - but try to support him without making it seem like you're supporting him because you think he's gay. Since Anthony is gay, and assuming your friend knows he is, chances are he'll come out to you both when he's become comfortable with it himself, since he'll know you're both "safe." He's probably just not ready for it yet.
2007-03-05 10:15:52 · answer #2 · answered by devouring_wind 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no I doubt it, people change over time and sometimes a person can go from a very talkative personality to a very reserved person. He's probably anti-social and does not like socializing that much. Maybe something happened in his life a death in his family and he can't take it. Maybe he suspects people of saying rumors about him, and does not want to talk to people because he is worried about being made fun of. There are so many reasons, as for why he never had a g/f well, maybe when he asked girls out they all rejected him. The question is how do you know he has no friends. I mean what if he has friends outside of school, also sometimes people may be his friend in school but won't say that they are his friends to avoid being asked questions. I can relate because i had a similar person at my H.S. like this. It turns out he just felt depressed and angry people were talking about him. So he decided he cannot trust any1, which kind of hard to do.
2007-03-05 23:33:18 · answer #3 · answered by AUCT!ON 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, let's put it this way. A straight guy would have either laughed, then said, "Uh....no." Or looked at you as if you were crazy, then said, "Uh....no." Or he would have wondered WHY you thought that, so he could make sure and NEVER do that again, followed with "Uh....no."
So, I can tell you that he is not straight. Bi or gay, I don't know. (Which, of course, bi is that same as gay in a straight man's book.) Also, he wouldn't have become defensively angry at a women for asking, either. Definitely curious and in need of details to the reason WHY she asked, but not defensive and mean about it. (A guy, on the other hand, would have been a different story.)
James (who wasn't being prejudice, just truthful from a straight man's POV.)
2007-03-05 10:34:36 · answer #4 · answered by James S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it could have been your nosey a$$$z question....Even if he's not gay you assumed a whole lot about this guy. Does not sound like great way to make a new friend trust you.
I would treat you strangely too ..cause get this you two are strange for asking such a personal question.
2007-03-05 10:32:45 · answer #5 · answered by yeah , yeah whatever 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you DONKEY, you NEVER ask someone you suspect is gay if they are actually gay!!! thats just insensitive. you wait for them to be more comfortable with you. i don't know what you're still bothering this guy for, i'm glad he left you because obviously you and you friend anthony aren't too bright!!
LEAVE HIM ALONE, when he's ready do deal with you guys he will and in the mean time, YOU OWE HIM AN APOLOGY!
man you kids make me so mad, its hard enough for him to know he might be gay at such a young age with all the intolerance around and you friends come around and throw it in his face.
2007-03-05 10:10:20 · answer #6 · answered by puzzlite 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it could be, or maybe you're friend just doesn't know yet. the fact your friend in question is avoiding you seems to indicate he isn't ready to talk about it, regardless of his sexual orientation. In fact, there could be other things in his life that are making him not want to discuss his sexuality or personal life (e.g. family issues, he's not certain about who he is yet, depression). You're probably better off not trying to read his mind.
the best you can do is let him come around, let him know you care. there's not much else you can do to help him until he's ready to talk.
2007-03-05 10:16:51 · answer #7 · answered by Jnr528 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's gay, he doesn't need yr help. Perhaps you need his, simply to subdue your acute curiosity.
2007-03-05 10:11:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋