My husband never said he did not want to have kids. I raised the topic many times. The usual reply was "I am not ready yet and don't know when I will be". Okay, our relationship was not perfect, we had arguments, but I thought we would make it work. Meanwhile, the sex life was getting worse. Once I managed to drag a reply out of him "well, our relationship is not really stable..." He did not want to explain himself, but it shocked me as I never doubted we would have a future together. I explained that I can't wait for too long due to some complications I had. I did not get any straight answers again, but the next day he bought loads of ..condoms. It has been 2 years now and I suspect he is not telling the truth. He said today: "I bought condoms because I wanted to fix our relationship and become intimate again". I think that it's bullshit and he deliberately did it because he did not want me to get pregnant. He would not confess though. Am I going mad or is he being manipulative?
2007-03-05 09:59:03 · 6 answers · asked by Alyssa Macey 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am so upset because he is not being open and honest, and knowing that I am crying - he would just ignore me and do his own thing in the house... Moany me, sorry!
2007-03-05 10:01:26 · update #1
Not much changed in our relationship - in fact, it has gone worse. I would not want a baby now, but I don't have another 4 years to be miserable while my husband does nothing to help establish a normal communication!
2007-03-05 11:14:53 · update #2
Well....yous have been together for a very long time, and for him not to want to have kids with you and let u cry, is unacceptable... If ur relationship is not stable then y would u want him to explain it, if its self explained. I kno it would be crazy to get a divorce after such a long time, but dont you want to live ur life the way u want!? with kids and a happy family? A marriage is each person giving 50% to equal 100% and in this case, hes not making you completely happy..y would u stick around to please him?!?! you have to think about yourself too...dont u want to die knowning that u lived ur life to the fullest?!? ii hope u make the right decision!!
2007-03-12 04:49:02 · answer #1 · answered by JB. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what's funny? A lot of men seem to do this to their wives. After getting married they drag their feet about having children. I think that for men, the first child is really scary. Can you financially support another person? Is this new addition going to ruin you lives? Will there be any time alone as a couple? These are all some of the things that stress men out about becoming fathers. I say sit him down and talk to him. If there are other problem to fix, do that before deciding to become parents. Babies are great, but are also very demanding and caring for them can add a lot of stress to the best relationship, so a rocky one doesn't stand a chance. Good luck!
2007-03-05 19:08:54 · answer #2 · answered by Mom23 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not going mad. He does not want a child. Maybe he is afraid that if he gives you a straight answer, you will leave him, and he really does want to make the relationship more stable. He is RIGHT, however, even though he is not willing to say it, that now is not the time to add a child to the family. You have other things to work out first.
2007-03-05 18:47:18 · answer #3 · answered by Wise Advice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have an unhealthy relationship kids arent going to make it better. You need to be happy and if you arent not happy with him try counseling. But if it continues to get worse then perhaps you should leave him there are tons of men out there who want to have kids. Marriage is 50 50 you have a say too if he doesnt want to compromise then you need to find some way to be happy maybe getting seperated will make him understand how you feel more.
2007-03-12 03:42:11 · answer #4 · answered by Princess K! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok so u want a baby.What I see is that probably your husband is just not prepared.for any reason.why dont u adopt a child?thats a novel idea.u would help someone in distress and not be dependent on your husband.lest i see there is some financial inplication to it.if there is some problem with your husband,perhapsu can also go fro an artificial insemenation as well.accept the fact that your husband does not want a child and look for a way wherein both of yours problems are solved.I see adoption and arificial insemenation.God bless u.:)
2007-03-11 23:36:37 · answer #5 · answered by gary 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't understand you. Whydo you want children if your relationship is not stable, and you don't know if it will last.
2007-03-10 18:30:00 · answer #6 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋