the time he wanted to commit suicide, I told him he needed professional help and he only wanted to talk to me. When he would feel really bad I told him that he was feeling like he wanted to, and then I once told him that if I was going to call the police and he told me if the police showed up at his house he would have definitly gone through with it. He is 29 yrs old & well educated. I went through many nights with anxiety and panic attacks. Other then that, he was respectful to me, never put me down or talked down to me. HOWEVER, the reason the felt this way was b/c he had a child w/ a one night stand before we met. Of course, I helped him come to terms for him to leave me to be with the mom. What was worst, he talked about me and was cold and hurtful and acted as though what he went thu and put me thru NEVER HAPPENED! I lost it. I cried and wanted to confront him, and he told me that if I needed help to talk to a pychologist:( Can u believe this. And I did. How would you cope?
2007-03-05 08:56:14 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am aware he mentally abused me in some form, as all of his suicide threats came rushing back and I feel he used me emotioanlly. He may not have been genuine, but I was. Now, I see him sign on line and he is alive and well and I am the one who suffers. And also, I am not a care taker and I didnt think he would have layed a burden on me like that. If I walked away and he really did commit suicide, I never would have been able to deal also. So, please don't judge me.
2007-03-05 08:58:52 · update #1
I think by ignoring you he's trying to ignore his problems. You were always there for him, but you are also part of his "bad times". In order for him to forget all that, he needs to forget you too. It sucks and it's cruel of him, but I think he's only pushing you away because he associates you with the horrible stuff he's gone through.
You did the right thing. You were there for him when he needed you. But you can't force him to admit that he was weak and needed you. He's probably denied everything inside his own head. And that's a choice he's made. Maybe it makes it easier for him to deal with all the hurt and pain in his mind my ignoring it and denying it all. Too bad he's lost you in the process because you sound like a girlfriend any man would be lucky to have.
Move on with your life. Find a guy who will be there for you as much as you will be there for him. Good luck!
2007-03-05 09:02:56 · answer #1 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I commend you on your courage to see a therapist. Continue to heal from this traumatic relationship. Go the the library or bookstore to find books that can help you heal. It sounds like he is in Denial and that's a coping skill. He will not acknowledge your pain as he is unable to acknowledge is own pain. Which is sad. You can take yourself through this and heal. You don't need his to co-sign or even say "Yes I did put you through alot and you were marvelous ... an angel, I don't know what I would've done without you" If he was healthy he could tell you this but he's sick. Tell yourself this is the year you are going to move beyond him!!!
2007-03-05 09:06:34 · answer #2 · answered by Summer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop beating yourself up,as a person who years ago was suicidal I don't think he is capable of thinking logical as you do. It's good that you are seeing a doctor to help you through this. What ever you do don't go back to him. It will probably take years for him to get better. You were there for him when he needed you, now you need to take care of yourself, the heartache will get better over the time, I promise you. If he does do anything it is not your fault, it is his illness that is causing it. And you are right he won't get better if he doesn't get help. Don't let him take you down with him. I have known it to happen. Take care of yourself sweetie.
2007-03-05 09:10:16 · answer #3 · answered by auntkarendjjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The very fact that you are a compassionate, caring person has lead your boyfriend to take advantage of you. His cries of suicide was a way to manipulate you. You have no responsibility for him other than to do what you had done and that is to call the police. Let them deal with him. His lack of empathy towards your feelings is an indication of him having a self centered nature and leads me even more to believe he took advantage of your kind nature. It is best you move on from this person and find yourself someone who will appreciate you for all you have to offer. This guy is only out for himself and seems to enjoy playing mind games with you. Best of luck to you!
2007-03-05 09:07:38 · answer #4 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad about anything that you did. It's amazing that you helped him and stood by him. You are a good person.
He is a user. He did abuse you and you are better off without him. Give yourself time and you will feel better. Just try to forget him, I know that is easier said than done, but you should try to move on. Maybe you need to cut off all contact with him.
Good luck. take care.
2007-03-05 09:04:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd of told him I'm calling the cops and he can go ahead and kill his crazy *** if he wants. But I'm going to live and I will live just fine without him in my life. Adios.
2007-03-05 10:03:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋