what do i do??? i have been married for 3 years and have been with her for 14 yrs. She is my highschool sweet heart
2007-03-05 08:55:43 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
although it hurts, look at her taking a step back as a blessing in disguise. I have been in the same situation except the decision to step back was mutual. we were and are totally in love with each other and it hurts everyday to have to stop seeing each other and talking. the prob is it was affecting my marriage. my wife is a wonderful woman who did nothing wrong. she doesnt deserve a scum like me so the least i can do is focus on trying to make her happy.
during the affair, i couldnt sleep - i was ashamed and guilty. it was like having two lives. i was a man of no character and felt like a horrible person. the only time i felt good was with the other woman. it eventually would have ruined me though. we had to stop. i could never have left my wife and hurt her like that.
you should use this opportunity. its going to hurt, but it only hurts much worse the longer you wait. she is prob protecting her feelings and trying to do the same thing. you should be fair to both this woman and your wife and step back as well. and dont try to keep one foot in the door, it only prolongs the hurt.
good luck
2007-03-05 09:06:58 · answer #1 · answered by zeke58 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I will not go on a tyrade about what a worthless husband you are, I will give you my opinion and some advice. 14 years is a long investment to just throw away for an affair, but I also believe this is not just your decision to make. Does your wife know about the affair? If not you should tell her so she is aware of the situation and what's at stake. She may not want your cheating a** anymore and the decision will have been made for you or she may want your sorry butt and want to work on the relationship. If she wants to continue then that's when your decision will come about. If you love your wife and have any shred of decency you'll end this affair and live out the rest of your life with the woman you promised to love 'til death do you part. If you don't love your wife and really, truly do love the other woman, then you owe your wife the truth and hopefully a whole lot of alimony. I'd think long and hard about starting a life with a woman who apparently has no problem sleeping with a married man, not to mention she's taking a step back, sounds like she's done playing with her no strings attached boy toy.
2007-03-05 09:11:16 · answer #2 · answered by flow_mj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your screwed. You are in love with her, and she isn't in love with you back, not good. Basically, you have two relationships that are failing. Trust me, the marriage is over, its only a matter of time. Get out of it now, before your wife finds out you cheated on her, because if she finds out, you are going to really be screwed, she will take half of your stuff, plus, if you have kids, she will take them, and you will end up paying child support.
The other girl doesn't want you, simply because you cheated on your wife, so what makes her think you won't cheat on her. So, even if you do get married to the sweetheart, she will always wonder if you are cheating on her, which in turn will lead her to cheat on you.
Why did you get married in the first place? Your heart wasn't with your wife if you could change how you feel about her in 3 years, you never really was in love with her to begin with.
You will probably get bashed a lot more than you are, but you did make the mess, and you are now asking people for their opinion, and they will give it to you. Just be glad we don't know your wife or mistress, or you would really have a bad day today.
2007-03-05 09:06:44 · answer #3 · answered by George P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean by she wants to take a step back?
You should make your decision wisely and probably should not have married someone you dont love, and on top of that you should not decided to have had an affair. But, all in all your going to have to break it down to your wife at some point. Obiviously your not happy with your marriage.
2007-03-05 09:01:48 · answer #4 · answered by princesskamby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should step back. It is not fair to be married to someone you do not love and continue to carry on an affair. Why didn't you marry your high school sweetheart?
Make things right and cut off the affair. Try to save your marriage through counseling and if you can't, at least have the decency to get a divorce.
2007-03-05 09:00:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok ALL guys need to know this!!!
Most women that will fool around with a married guy have MAJOR ISSUES! and they get a big sense of accomplishment and control when they can get a man to cheat on his wife with them. That is how they get there kicks. But that also means that if you ditch your wife for this woman then that woman loses her big sense of accomplishment and control = a negative thing for her and she can't enjoy the relationship any more. She will ditch you because she won't be happy anymore. She looses that control and her addiction to drama when you leave your wife for her.
2007-03-05 09:05:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you get married to someone else if you have been with your highschool sweetheart for 14 years. That is just stupid.
2007-03-05 09:12:29 · answer #7 · answered by NLH823 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because " If they will cheat with you, They will cheat on you." Shame on you for not divorcing your wife. Maybe that is why she stepped back, end the first relationship before you try to completely screw up someone elses life! Good Luck
2007-03-05 09:00:33 · answer #8 · answered by JNS 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why didn't you marry her? You are betraying your wife. You owe her an explanation and an apology for not going into your marriage with an open heart. After you give your wife what is owed to her then you can think about how to solve your problem with your girlfriend.
2007-03-05 08:59:30 · answer #9 · answered by Jamie B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are a scum you have a wife you should be concerned about and not worry about the other woman so let her go she knows that you and her have no future together. so let her go so she can move on.You should have never got married if you were seeing someone else and continuing to see them
2007-03-05 08:59:48 · answer #10 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋