I have so much hate for my soon to be ex-husband. he said and did so many terrible things. i feel like he basically used me. I gave him everything! he has cheated and lied and abandoned his family. i just had a baby!
I am so angry i just want to HURT him! how do i get over these feelings? I know i am better off without him but i feel so bad!
2007-03-05 08:44:57 · 46 answers · asked by I♥Karma 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He was the love of my life!
2007-03-05 08:46:07 · update #1
after we got married he turned into someone else! help!
2007-03-05 08:48:19 · update #2
There is a fine line between love and hate...you had so much love for him, and now you feel as though he has thrown it and you away....so the intense love turns to intense hate....remember forgiveness is Devinne...and just because we forgive, doesn't mean we forget.....Never act on an impulse....maybe take some time for yourself, and reflect....remember this is pro bally something to do with him, and has nothing to do with you.....
2007-03-05 08:52:32 · answer #1 · answered by onekoolkat_31 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The thing to keep in mind is that baby feels everything you do. So if you want it to be stressed you stay stressed.
Your finally out of a bad situation, h$ll you should feel lucky, some women can't get out. Where would you be then?
You want to keep in mind he didn't just wake up and become what you hate you picked him. So now you should reflect on what it is you did and didn't like before moving onto the next man.
And, yes I know there won't be another man for a long time, but never say never. What you need to do is concentrate on caring, providing a home for and loving that baby.
Hope this helps, email me if you need too.
2007-03-05 09:01:33 · answer #2 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just had a baby well there is all the unconditional love in the world you need to get over this. You can't be a good mom harboring that much hatred for to long. Time heals you will recover he is a bad man and just be glad he gave you the right to go thru more relationships so that sooner or later you can learn what is like to be with real loving man that will treat you right and be with you forever and it will come sooner or later. As for sooner focus on your child they can feel your pain it can form there personality you don't want that you. It is OK to feel this way trust me I have baby in tow to, but get over it and move on soon or it could effect you and your child's life forever.
2007-03-05 21:39:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely will be better off without him for all the hurt and anger he has brought upon you and your family.From what you write I think you are more hurt than anything.Understandably so.
Think of your beautiful child and all of the things that the idiot will be missing,that alone should put a smile on your face. Good things will happen to you and for you and your family and hopefully he will see it, and that will cause him hurt enough.You won't have to do a thing.Enjoy your baby and make a new new life.Like the song says ,you'll gladly take him back when you stop breathing.He should have thought about it when he was CHEATING.What goes around,comes around. GOOD LUCK to you and your family. Chin up and smile.Don't ever let him see what he has done. That's what he wants
2007-03-05 08:56:20 · answer #4 · answered by happyfingers1@verizon.net 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best revenge is to pick yourself up and get back to life. You just got rid of the worst thing that ever happened to you so it's time to make room for the good things to come. You can't do that if you're still letting him occupy your mind. Even though the experience was horrible you now have a little baby to look after so try not to regret what's happened because that baby came out of it. Hope it all works out for you.
2007-03-05 08:54:27 · answer #5 · answered by Diet_smartie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many things you can do at this time to help: see a counselor, talk daily with a friend or family member, lose yourself in caring for your baby and starting a new life, pray, find a support group, find a hobby. Or do all of them.
I am so sorry that you are hurting. But you need to get control of your anger so that it doesn't destroy you. You have another little life to think about now. Be strong, you can do this. Don't let his poor treatment of you affect your quality of life now that he is gone. There will be much to adjust to, but you can do it! Good luck, and God bless!!!
2007-03-05 08:53:15 · answer #6 · answered by Sari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with AB The best revenge is to live a better life without him. Now that he's gone, take this time you work on YOU to make a better YOU for yourself and your child. I am a firm beleiver that everything happens for a reason. You may feel like you want to kill him but think about your child. Hit him where it hurts the most, the pockets!!!! Get that child support!!! Even if you don't need it set it aside for your child later on.
2007-03-05 09:02:55 · answer #7 · answered by Miss G. H. Etto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make up your mind to forgive him ... and forgive yourself, too. Part of your anger probably comes from knowing that however good you were, you weren't quite perfect.
Once you have decided to forgive ... see a counselor and let her help you work it out. It will take time.
Visualize where you want to be in three years, living a better life, and work toward that.
Hating is worse than a waste of time - it can corrode your own soul. Don't let that happen. You have everyone's best wishes for a happier life. Go get it!
2007-03-05 09:37:54 · answer #8 · answered by Husker41 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard and at the moment you just feel resentment and hatred, at some stage you will feel grief and then you will start to feel lonely - but hey this is all good as it is getting out of your system and helping you get over him. Learn to not hate him as it is self destructive for you - be the better person and show him you can do better without him. He is a pig and will one day realise what he has done but you just need to concentrate on the baby and yourself and try and move on - good luck to you and your family as hard as it is now but I can promise you it will get easier
2007-03-05 08:51:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it may be hard right now, but just think that every day after today will be a little better. Spend your time with your child, and enjoy the fact that God gave you a healthy baby. Don't dwell on things that cannot be changed, but look forward to your future without someone that would treat you liek that.
Good luck!
2007-03-05 08:49:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can hurt him...just do it the right way...in the wallet. As you proceed with your divorce you must keep alive the fact of the pain and hurt that he has caused. Go get therapy, and keep a clear head. If you go to court a crazy person that is how you will be treated. Keep calm...and keep fighting, do not, under any circumstances give in to anything he wants. That's what my mother did, now after all the hurt and pain, she is suffering financially all because she took what was offered and did not fight for what was right.
Good Luck
2007-03-05 08:53:39 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋