Communication problem with husband?

Question

how can I ease him to conversation? As he hates talking about serious stuff?!!

Answer 1

If you ever find out for pity's sake tell the rest of us, we'd all like to know the answer to this one!

Answer 2

You first need to understand, that men are not like women. Women, when they get together they talk about anything with each other. Now, when you talk to your husband and talk like you would do with a close friend, it is not the same because they are not women. Hope I didn't confuse you. Men are more interested in men things and women are more interested in women things.

There are some men who instead of communicating, they use actions instead. Like if you husband fixes the tire on your car, buys you a new cutting board, or even tells you what the road conditions are on Highway 84 etc... That is their way of communicating with you.

Now with wanting to talk about serious things with your husband, it does get hard to approach him at times. But, it also depends on how you approach him, the time and the place is also important as well. How do you approach him? Do you approach him right when he gets home from work, when he wants to just come home and relax for awhile? Do you approach him when things start getting stressful for you? Do you approach him when he is really busy and you think that he doesn't he is neglecting you? So, it depends on how you approach him. How is your attitude when you do approach him....is there yelling, whining, or nagging?

You need to set a time with your husband when you want to talk about serious things. The best time would probably be when the kids are asleep, if you have kids at home. Or, make a dinner date with him on a weekly basis. My husband and I go out to dinner either once a week or twice a month. But, he has to want to make that time with you only. Even if he wants to talk about his interests, you be that listener to him and he be to you too.

Or, after dinner have him help you with loading the dishwasher and talk about some things with him. Or sit at the dinner table with him and talk.

I would consider on reading these two great books called, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage".

It doesn't just have to be about serious stuff, it can be about anything that he likes or you like. If you see any interest on what he likes to talk about, then he may find it interesting on what your likes are.

Answer 3

Men aren't usually that excited to have long, drawn out conversations. They want to get to the point, make a decision and move on. Women love to talk, and talk, and talk...... If there is a specific subject you want to talk about, just come out with it. Don't beat around the bush. Come to the point quickly, then ask him a specific question. Don't just say "what do you think?" For example:
Instead of, "You're never home, I feel like we never communicate, why do you stay at work so late, we never do anything together"...etc, etc. Try something like, "You've been working really hard lately. I've missed you. How about we go to dinner and a movie Friday night?"

Answer 4

Without further details, it's hard to know exactly what the problem is... could be he's immature. Here's a suggestion, it may or may not apply. Don't be so serious...if you have something serious to talk to him about, don't put on a big production, sit him down, say "now we have something serious to talk about." This is probably not how it goes, but if you are a little more lighthearted, even about the serious stuff, he may open up. I remember when my dad cornered me for the sex talk. He was so nervous and made such a big deal about it that the last place I wanted to be was sitting there talking to him. You've got to be comfortable with each other, and he's got to open up.

Answer 5

Us women look at communication as a chance to resolve issues or as a way to get closer to our man. The man on the other hand, looks at communication as a way to an argument. This is why men will avoid talking about serious things. By bringing up a serious topic, in his mind he has only two choices, 1) to avoid you or 2) to argue with you. Trust me, you are not the only female experiencing this problem. If you can begin to show your husband patience and not get angry when ever he does involve himself in serious conversations with you he may feel safer in opening up to you. Try this and in time see what happens. Best ot luck to you!

Answer 6

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Answer 7

If nothing else works withhold what he wants until you say what you need too. This is not a new problem, I guess, which you should have addressed b/4 you got married, as communication is in my opinion the most important thing in a marriage

Hope this helps

Answer 8

What is serious to you is not necessarily serious to him. Most of the things that are 'serious' or 'important' to woman are trivial and senseless to men. I don't mean to belittle you or your opinion; i am just being factual. Talk about things that interest him for a while then sneak your views in. It's not guaranteed to work but it's worth a try.

Answer 9

Most guys dont. But if you tell him how you feel and how important it is to you and maybe relate it to something that is important to him he can understand better? Or maybe you can come to an agreement where he does this for you and you do something else that is important to him in return that may not be important to you.

Or just throw it out there and hope he comes to realize that you need comminication. Sometimes I find writing an email or letter is nice because it gives the guy time to really think about what is written and gives the writer time to write what they really feel.

Answer 10

My mother had a husband who was like that. She tried talking, he ignored her, she wrote him letters, he called her pathetic and denied ignoring her. She then found out he was having an affair and was perfectly able to talk to his girlfriend about stuff....

Its probably just the way he is and you can either learn to accept it or hate it forever. Honestly, no matter how much you try you can't change how someone is....

Answer 11

when you know the answer to that one-share it with me, I have been married almost 21yrs and my husband doesn't like to talk about nothing serious-that is half of our problem, I feel for you, I wish you the best of luck. I could use some luck myself