I'm in a little bit of a bind. I might be pregnant and my older sister is TTC. She's undergone IVF a couple times and no luck. And I'm newly married (7 months) and my husband and I weren't as careful as we should have been and now we might have a BFP. We want kids I was just hoping to wait until after my sister got her family started. I'm afraid she won't be happy for me. I'm not sure if I should tell her it wasn't planned or if that will add insult to injury. My sister is the princess of the family and I'm just worried that my family will be angry at me or accuse me of trying to upstage her. Which is not the case at all. I'm so scared to take an HPT, this should be the happiest time of my life and I just want to cry. Do you have any ideas how I should tell my family if I am? Or how to handle them if they are upset with me? I don't want to hurt my sister or my family. : ( Thanks!
2007-03-05 07:48:05 · 7 answers · asked by lycaena_epixanthe 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
That is very kind of you to consider your sisters feelings, but you should take joy in this awesome event in your life!
Family is important, but the most important for you should be YOUR family, meaning you, your husband and your child. That is your priority. You only have control of your OWN actions and reactions, NOT of others. If your sister is as caring as you are then she should be happy for you, glad you aren't dealing with what she has to deal with.
I would tell them, no need to tell them it was unplanned, but you could say, "We want children, we're thrilled to be having one even if it is sooner than we expected" or some such thing. You can tell her that you are thinking good thoughts (or praying) that your child will soon have a cousin to grow up with!
If your family is upset with you, just tell them you are sorry they feel that way (it is THEIR problem, not yours) but you hope they will soon be happy to have an addition to the family.
If they cannot be supportive of you, surround yourself with people who will support you and share the joy.
Congrats & good luck!!
2007-03-05 08:00:11 · answer #1 · answered by seaelen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you can't avoid hurting other's feelings. I'm hoping for a child, too, and just found out last night that my SIL is now pregnant. Yes, it's disappointing, but I'm still happy for her.
If it is, in fact, a BFP, just enjoy it. You can't control other's reactions. Be understanding of your sister. If your family rejects you because of your pregnancy, it is out of your control. My little sis got pregnant before me, and got married less than a month after I did. It annoyed me a little, but not enough to say anything, and certainly not enough to make a big deal out of it.
Hopefully your family will rejoice with you. If not, then you need to go on with your life. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG!
2007-03-05 08:01:06 · answer #2 · answered by Amanda M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie you cant wait on your sister to have a family before you start one,thats not fair to you and your husband.And as far as telling them if you are just take sis out to lunch and tell her that you are not trying to hurt her but you are pregnant,and you dont want her to be mad or upset at you because you want children also.she will be happt for you in the end.And you need to take a hpt asap so that you know for sure and can get the proper care you need.Hope this helps best wishes
2007-03-05 07:57:37 · answer #3 · answered by Sunshine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I felt this way a few weeks ago when I found out and my friend who really wants more kids, can't have any.
first don't say anything until you're absolutely sure.
Second, make sure you tell her, not someone else.
Third, start with I have some news & I want you to be the first to know. Then tell her.
Don't appologize!
2007-03-05 07:55:18 · answer #4 · answered by njyecats 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its ur life and u can't put it on hold for some little girl who wants to be the star of everyday
tell em u got preggo and have been trying
and if they start insulting u
say u won't ever see ur grandchildren again and either that'll shut em up or break off contact
u don't need family like that
2007-03-05 07:54:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are pregnant, just present it to the family as we weren't planning this, but we're happy about it.....your sister will be happy for you....she'll also be jealous, it's something she'll have to work out internally.
2007-03-05 08:06:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would just tell them. they can't be angry with you for wanting to start your own family and you shouldn't have to do it on anyone else's time schedule. it could take your sister years to get pregnant! do they really expect you to just hold off on your family until she starts hers? that's makes no sense. if you are, just tell them.
2007-03-05 07:53:09 · answer #7 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋