X wife nightmare?

Question

My husband shares custody with his x wife for his 6 yr old son and she is so upset the we got married that she is asking the court to modify his visitation to only when he is home (so that I cannot watch him for my husband when hew goes to work on Sat. My stepson has lots of fun with me and my son that is 7 they refer to each other as brothers. Doesnt he have a right to choose who watches his son if he should have to work? He has NO IDEA who the child is with when she has him for 2 wks at a time...

Answer 1

At this age, the 6 year old probably has little say.

Frankly, she does or should have first right of refusal. Which means if he cannot spend time with his son during parenting time, that she should get the first opportunity to spend time with him.

I don't doubt that the young man has a great time with your son. However, mother should have first call to time that dad can't spend with his son, and frankly he should have first call to any time that mom can't spend with him.

Look at the concept of first right of refusal. If bio mom and dad live close together, the courts probably will NOT laugh at this, but side with the mom here, as they should.

I think the bio mom is on solid ground wanting to spend time with her child if dad is at work.

PS, he probably SHOULD know who she is having watch the child while she works, and he can certainly see to be the first person she calls when she has to have someone watch this child.

The concept of FROR goes both ways.

Answer 2

She can ask for this all she wants honey, but she is not going to get it. The reason I say this, is because when it comes to child placement issues, the best interests of the child are on the table, not the wishes of the angry mamma. As long as his son is happy and you have no criminal record, then they aren't going to change it.

She has to have just cause honey. And what I mean by that, is that there has to be a major change in circumstances before a judge will even hear this motion. Sure, she'll get her day in court, but chances are, if there is no good reason, it'll get dismissed right then and there.

Answer 3

First of all define the order of shared custody...is it 50/50? His ex has a right to expect HIM to be available to HIS son during HIS visitations. "He has NO IDEA who the child is with when she has him for 2 wks at a time" And that means what? That HE has no idea whom the child is with...hmmmmm maybe HE should be a bit more involved with his son's life then huh?

Answer 4

Yes, ex's can be a pain. If she's going back to court, make sure you and your husband are present to defend yourselves and ask the court "Is it not better to have the child socialize in a surrounding he is safe in , his dads home, with his step mom and her son (they're like brothers).......and let your lawyer know she's doing this to be spiteful...where he wouldn't have a clue WHO would be watching his child when she's at work. IF you have NO criminal record, and no involvment with children services...then the court will see upon it that the child be where he will be safe, loved, wanted...and good surroundings (at your place)
Sorry you're dealing with this...she needs to think of what's best for the child, not use him as a weapon against the ex.

Answer 5

Have you tried talking directly to her to assure her that you are not a threat to her or her son? Has your husband clearly told his x that she is in his past and he has no intention of reconciling with her?

Legally, she doesn't have a leg to stand on. It may just take time and her getting used to the new routine in her life and her son's life. I'm sure there is more than a bit of jealousy on her part. Her son has probably told her about the fun he has with you and your son. She needs to grow up and get over her insecurities, accept the loss of her x husband and not assume that you are trying to steal her son away from her. Direct assurance from you to her may help a lot.

Good luck.

Answer 6

The courts will probably laugh at her. You are this child's stepmother now. It is understandable that he would spend time with you. Make sure your husband has a good lawyer and don't let her get to you. Hopefully she will find a life of her own soon and stop using her child as a bargaining chip.

Answer 7

I don't think she can do anything. If she really does take it to court, make sure you consult and bring your lawyer. I am sure that she is very jealous that her ex-husband has happily remarried, you are a nice person, and worse yet - her son likes you and your son. It is just a way to try to hurt you both. Too bad she has to use the child to do it.

Answer 8

as a former step mom- the court should see right through her request and as long as you are a sound fit role model i doubt the court would rule in her favor. from my understanding she has to prove that modifying the visitation would be in the boy's best interest but if he has a friendship and bond with you and your son i wouldn't see why any judge would amend the visitation schedule- if anything your marriage should make the home more stable and allow for more visitation but good luck ex wives can be tricky

Answer 9

unless you are proven that you cannot take care of children (which if this was the case i doubt you would have your own) and i really doubt your husband would have married you since he has a child. just let her blow off her steam, undoubtedly the judge will laugh in her face...unless there is a real reason for her to be concern for her sons safety, there isn't much she can do....just don't laugh too hard in her face when one day she pushes her son away for being down all the time on daddy and his wife....

Answer 10

She probably won't get far with taking him back to court over this. She needs to let it go as all this is not doing anything good for the child. She is more than likely feeding the child terrible thoughts about you when he is with her which is not good either. It is sad how some parents can really mess their kids up.

Good luck....sounds like you are going to need it.