what do i do if my stepson is mean to my son?

Question

I have a 15 year old stepson who has ADHD and since his dad and I moved in together he is realy mean to my 5 year old son.they were both only children but he makes fun of him and i even caught hhim pretending to choke my son. My stepson and I get along fine but he is downright hostile to my son and I cant explain it. I know my fiance is aware and we have talked to him about it but im not sure what else I can do with out coming accross as the "evil stepmother"Help!!!

Answer 1

When raising mixed families you must set ground rules before any marriage takes place. The most important rule is that discipline and love to all children(yours and his) will be the same on you and your significant other. There will be no special favors or treatment had by any. Make sure that your man agrees with that then start treating the stepson as you would if he were your own blood. This goes the same for the stepson's dad. Agree not to get in between each other on the issues either. If you both don't have equal rights then find a place for yourself and your son to live and just date the man. My wife and I went through the same thing and agreed prior to marriage that it would be that way. Her child was mine and my children were hers. By the way were acted around everyone you would have believed it too. It will definitely work as long as you can cooperate. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Talking to your fiance will certainly help a lot. No mother would like to see their children being hurt by anybody(and same thing goes to the feeling of your partner). You have to impose rules on the house and match an equivalent consequence on every bad behavior they are gonna bring. Be serious imposing it.Be tough and at the same time-BE VERY PATIENT!

Answer 3

You need to put some house rules in writing, along with the consequences of breaking those house rules. These rules need to apply to both your children, not just your stepson.

Answer 4

Your fiance should be helping to handle this situation, and it doesn't sound like he is. Get him more involved ... and try to talk to your stepson to find out why he acts that way toward your son. Just talk calmly and don't accuse .. it will help him open up to you more.

Answer 5

i don't think of you're being egocentric...the way i see it, (from what you wrote) is you and your hubby actual spend time with the newborn. cooking, playing, and analyzing, babies loves those activities, and curiously the bio mom did not choose to be stricken with him. and now that he's "replaced"---WTH does that propose? ---she needs him back? i might flow to court docket and argue that she abdonded the newborn, benefit complete custody of him. approximately attempting for a infant, sturdy success! i don't think of it somewhat is that difficult to have a infant on an analogous time as elevating a 7 year previous. of direction you will adore your newborn in simple terms as lots, the two, if not extra (and that i be attentive to that sounds undesirable, it somewhat is feeling and additionally you will't clarify it- nicely, i can't) than your doorstep son. I choose you the terrific, yet i think of you're able to desire to seek for advice from an lawyer approximately custody!

Answer 6

You are concerned about coming across as evil when he pretends to strangle your son??????
OMG.Tell him that is not exceptable & if he ever lays a hand on your child again or causes him any harm,,you will ship him off to boot camp.If your new man doesnt agree,,leave him.Your child is #1 & the older child should know better.

Answer 7

Talk to hubby about putting him into counseling

Answer 8

next time he tried to hurt your baby..Call the cops. you can't be a bad step mother for doing whats right.If you can't beat them then let someone else do it/.