My husband takes care of me and our two kids by himself, and I don't have any freedom. But the second I stated to work, my kids were sick all the time, my house was a mess, I was to tired to do anything for my husband, and to tired for myself. I want to work, but when I do, everything is a wreck. And I have guilt for not being there for my family. I there a way to talk to my husband about my freedom? Something to say to him to make him understand that just because im at home does not mean Im not working. I deserve things to right?
2007-03-05 07:03:37 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am a stay at home mom, and I did go back to work twice but my son got sick being exposed to other kids, so I started watching kids in my own home. You would be surprised at how much easier it is to clean when there are other kids around, the older kids around 4 get into a stage when they are excited to throw trash away and want to wash dishes. It is a way to stay home with your kids and make some money, so your husband won't feel it necessary to control it all.
2007-03-05 07:10:07 · answer #1 · answered by Fallon V 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A friend of mine did the list to help her dh understand all she does. You and he should list all that you do each hour of the day. Perhaps that will help him see your efforts and his lack of....
Take some scheleduled time off. Leave him with the kids and the list of to do's and don't look back. Forget that guilt trip, just don't go there.
Please know that you do have freedom. You chose to not work out side of the home. Remind him of that and that he should not take advantage of that choice. Then just simply let him know that he is also responsible for the upkeep of his family, which include the finances.
If you didn't do you pay someone. If you didn't care for the sick kids, you'd pay someone or not get paid for leaving work. If you ask him to honor you he will.
2007-03-05 15:20:14 · answer #2 · answered by SUPER COOL THINGS TO DO IN SOUTHERN DALLAS - 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Working and being a mother is never easy. If you have the chance to stay at home, then do so. Children are more happier and healthier when their parent is able to stay home with them while they are young. Unfortunately, most families have to have two incomes in order to survive these days. If working is causing your home to be such a mess, perhaps going part time is something you should consider. I know from being an "at home mom" that it is a job all in itself. Your husband may just be someone who wouldn't give you the credit either way. You do deserve to have things but shouldn't depend on your husband to provide if he does not respect you enough to know how hard you work. My advice to you is to make a choice. Stay with your husband who isn't willing to budge or leave and have whatever it is you are looking for. Thank you.
2007-03-05 15:12:25 · answer #3 · answered by cookie 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why didn't you have any freedom? Is he very controlling? I am a stay at home mom and I love it. My husband appreciates everything that I do and tells me so everyday. The thing that irritates me about men who want their wives to stay at home and raise children are quick to b*tch about things around the house. It's like they don't understand that they are only at their job for 8-10 hours a day, we are moms 24/7. Talk to him, go to counseling, talk to your minister. And remember even if your husband doesn't appreciate you, your children do and you are giving them a wonderful experience. It will pay off when they are older.
2007-03-05 15:14:42 · answer #4 · answered by Jamie B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a stay at home mom too, my husband thinks the same way. I'm not sure what it would take for them to understand how much work it is staying at home , unless they try it for themselves (no chance there). You do need freedom and activities besides the home and children, any human being does, But try to reason with him, and if he loves you he will listen and try to see it from your perspective.
2007-03-05 15:12:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you my twin? thats what i'm going through right now! my husband knows i work, but at the same time messes things up jjust like my daughter. if you find a solution let me know!
2007-03-05 18:37:04 · answer #6 · answered by mylilboog1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say let everything fall apart..the dished pile up the laundry pile up. And tell hime if he doesn't help then it will stay that way. With both of you working not only one person can do all the work....Unless you just stay home and that will be your job.
2007-03-05 15:12:33 · answer #7 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He needs to give a helping hand. Sit down and talk to him about how you both can share the chores! Good luck as it didn't work for me and he is now gone!!
2007-03-05 15:10:02 · answer #8 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋