The pain is unbearable!?

Question

My marriage has just ended, man I have never hurt like this, not veven when I broke my leg in three places, what can I do?

Answer 1

The pain will take time to go away i am sorry to say.In the mean time surround yourself with close friends and family.Get out and keep your self active.You will get through this,even if you feel that you wont.Been there...and yes it is painful.If you are a religious person then pray for the strength to move on.Good luck to you sweety..

Answer 2

I know the pain you feel. I went through the same thing years ago when my first wife and I got divorced. It may seem that your heart is broken forever, but believe me it will mend quicker than you think. It is similar to grief(not quite as bad). You had something that you thought was perfect, but your dreams were shattered. It is a step in learning to be a little more cautious in knowing people a little better before committing to them. Give it time and you will slowly start to think about socializing again. Just be careful not to open your heart up right away to the first guy that comes along. If you really want something to think about, with a divorce you can usually blame it on yourself, your husband, or a combination of you both. Try losing your spouse to cancer and have your marriage end when you both felt as though you had the perfect match for life. You don't really have anyone to blame. I lost my second wife a year ago and the pain is with me daily. At least you can justify yours by the fact that you made a bad choice. I don't see any reason why my perfect wife was taken away when she and I were so faithful and loving to each other.

Answer 3

I am so sorry to hear your pain and you described it well. It is hard to have a marriage fail because "you" feel like the failure. Since I don't know the whole story I am going to just focus on your feelings and the only thing I can suggest is, surround yourself with people that you love and show you love back. Surround yourself with positive people and gain strength from their support. When you are alone, write down your feelings. Then after a week, read them and see if the decision that was made was the right decision, as I am sure it was. Remember, that these horrible things in our lives happen for a reason. Maybe he wasn't your soul mate, although I am sure it felt that way, and after you heal, you will open up your heart and allow your true soul mate to arrive.
Do something "today" that makes you happy. Do something "today" that you always wanted to do but never did.
I hope your pain heals soon.

Answer 4

Sorry about the break up. It must be a very difficult time but you will get through it eventually.

1. The first thing you need to do stop feeling sorry for yourself. It has happened, now you need to move on.

2. Spend as little time as possible alone. Spend time with trusted friends and family members.

3. Take a trip away from the places and things that remind you of the times with your ex.

4. Keep yourself busy; with work, travelling, shopping (but don't blow all your money! That will only make you more resentful), etc

5.Above all and most importantly, free yourself from any bitterness, resentment or grudge against your ex. As difficult as this might be, it will really help you. Wish him the best and bear no ill feeling.

Good luck and take care of yourself!

Answer 5

I feel for you.....you just lost your best friend and love. If it hurts so much then it must mean you still Love this man. Wish I knew what happened but hang in there take it a day at a time. Now you have the chance to do whatever you want, nows your chance to do whatever you haven't been able to do. Just don't sit around the house getting depressed because it will not help you at all. Go to the gym exercise pumps feely good stuff and boosts your confidence. Just try to move on all hope is not lost just see it as a new beginning.

Answer 6

I know how you feel like your just going to die, you shake lose weight , can't hold a glass without your hand shaking. You go to work for no reason only a broken heart you go the ladies lounge and sit there and cry. I went to the beauty shop and my legs when I got up I almost fell they were shaking so bad even my eyes I couldn't;t stop them from trembling. I was total wreck, don't live by yourself go stay with someone like a aunt or close relative for a while, I did and it really help me. After 2 months I woke up in the middle of the night and I thought what am doing this to myself and that weekend I finally went out with friend's dancing just getting my mind off of him and you know that I had a good time, I just kept forcing myself to go places with my friends and finally got over most of my heart ache, I would still see a couple in the grocery store together and I would leave because I thought I don't have anyone to love me like that anymore, but overtime I met someone else and I completely straightened up. I got my on apartment and started living my life again. It takes time but you mark my word he will come back asking you let's back together and you look at him and who is this man , you are completely over him and it makes feel to say no way buddy . Hope You Get Better. Best of Luck One day You'll Look Back and Smile and Thank God He Helped You.

Answer 7

Many of us have known this pain - and it does seem as if the pain is more than you can bear. The best thing I did was only allow myself a short time to grieve, get mad, cry, and get it out of my system. Then I decided to start a new chapter in my life. I had fun with my family and friends. I started dating again when I thought the time was right for me. I found that the best revenge is to be happy. And, I met my current husband less than a year after my divorce. We've been married 9 years and couldn't be happier. I know you can't think that far ahead for yourself yet, but give yourself time. It really can get better. Good Luck to you.

Answer 8

Something no one else has said, but may be necessary, see a Dr. The only way I made it out of my divorce was on 'happy pills,' I wouldn't have been able to get through it without them. Even though I didn't like my husband I still loved him, and that is what is hardest to get past. When appropriate it can get you past the worst times and able to move on. Going out with the girls, keeping busy or exercise are all well and good, but if you can't even make it that far or even the simplest things make you cry you need 'help.' (And stay away from weddings, they trigger serious depression.)

Answer 9

Unfortunately, nothing. You need to go through the pain, and deal with it, in order to move on. The longer you try to "ignore" it, or shove the feelings down, the harder it will be for you to find happiness.

After my painful divorce from a fairly long marriage, I read, "The Proper care and feeding of husbands". It helped me realize where I was lacking as a wife, which in turn helped me get over some of the hurt and anger I was feeling toward my ex.

Good luck to you.

Answer 10

I am so sorry to hear that you are in so much pain. I think first you need to realize that it will take time. Don't be so hard on yourself, and try to find other things to get involved with. Stay close to supportive people, family and friends. Don't hang out with any other Friends in the same situation, sometimes misery loves company, and you don't want to go down that path.

Try to find another outlet to get out all those feelings. For me working out is excellent, it gets the blood flowing, and endorphins kick in. I always feel great after a good workout. Empower yourself, read, and reinvent yourself. You are worth it. Good Luck! You will get through this, wiser, and stronger.