Advice on abortion?

Question

I'm 19 and I am pregnant. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years who is also 19. I don't want an abortion, for me it is not even an option. My boyfriend is being extremely supportive, but I dont think he fully understands. He wants me to have an abortion but says he'll support me in whatever i choose. I want some advice to help him to understand why I can not and how to explain to him how it feels to be pregnant. I had a miscarriage before and I was devestated, and i was on birth control this time but somehow it happened again. I cant even imagine how it feels to have an abortion, because i was so upset abotu that miscarriage. I just want some advice on what to say to him and how to get him to understand my postion. THANK YOU!!

My boyfriend is a great guy and i know he willl be there for me no matter what. I'm just looking for advice on how to explain it to him and help him understand thats all. I don't think men can understand it as well as women!! Thanks again

Answer 1

If you feel like it would be hard to explain yourself to him in a conversation, perhaps you can write him a letter. That way, you have a chance to organize your thoughts and reread what you've said to make sure you're really putting forth what you want him to know and why it's so important to you to have this baby. Explain how you felt when you had the miscarriage, and how being pregnant feels, and why you want the baby so badly.

Good luck, and God bless you.

Answer 2

First of all: No abortion...please! That child deserves to have a chance at life.....like we did. Having a miscarriage is a terrible thing and I'm so sorry to hear that! But, having an abortion would make you a murderer! Please do the right thing. I promise you, that if you give this child a chance, he/she will be the best decision you ever made. You'll look back and be so glad you chose for your child to live.

I know it's scary right now, but you'll get through it. You must be a good person or you wouldn't be so concerned. This child that your about to have has a purpose in this world.

Your boyfriend says he supports you, huh? He shouldn't be pushing you for an abortion then. Support is just that......support!
Abortion seems like an "easy-out," but comes with a very high price. What if, down the road, you two don't work out together? He's gone but the damage caused is not!
Choose life everytime my dear!

Answer 3

Two things to consider:

1) If you don't want an abortion, then don't get an abortion. End of story. If you were devistated by a miscarriage, then how badly are you going to mess your head up by intentionally getting rid of this baby?

2) If you don't want an abortion, and your boyfriend knows this, but says that he wants you to have an abortion, then he's NOT being supportive. Period. That's manipulative bullsh*t. Tell him you are having your baby. If dude doesn't want to stick around, that's fine, as long as he pays child support. Don't bother arguing with him; wait until the baby is born and take him to court if you have to.

One last point: Talk to your family. If you decide to have the baby, it's not like you can keep an 8-month pregnancy a secret, so they're going to find out eventually. Talk to them before you decide to do anything, and tell them everything (including that your boyfriend wants you to have an abortion). You may be surprised at what they have to say.

Answer 4

Month one
Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two
Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four
Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven
Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?



Every Abortion Is Just . . .



One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

Answer 5

Well you just explained it to us. Maybe have an intermediary help you guys out. Explain that abortion is not an option because you have had past exerinces with miscarraige and it really devestates you. That abortion is not your way of thinking. He also has to remember, he wanted to have sex, and the baby is the consequence and he needs to face up to the music as well, not just you. Have a parent of friend, minister or something help you with this. There are also other options. Have you considered adoption?

Answer 6

You might try showing him some of this information:

Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm
http://www.lifeissues.org/ultrasound/11weeks.htm

Photos and Video of Abortions, Including 1st Trimester Abortions (Please be aware that these photos are very graphic):
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html

Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/complicationsgirls.cfm

Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.nrlc.org/Factsheets/FS15_pilldanger.pdf

It might also help if he is able to see an ultrasound of his child. Some men just melt when they actually are able to see their little sor daughter in the womb. If you go to a pregnancy care center in your area, they may be able to give you a free ultrasound (many centers have ultrasound machines). They can also give you referrals for financial, medical, and housing assistance, free maternity and baby supplies, and pregnancy and parenting information, as well as counsel you and your boyfriend together if he is willing. You can find one in your area by calling 1-800-395-HELP or visiting:
http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp

And here's more support, if you should need it:

Support for Pregnant Teens:
http://standupgirl.com/site/index.php

Support for Pregnant College and Career Women:
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org

I am SO glad to hear that you are committed to protecting your baby. You are absolutely doing the right thing and will never regret letting your baby live! Stay strong.

Answer 7

I've had it done and it really wasn't my choice, my mother was pretty much making me do it, but needless to say it's the worse thing! And it hurts for a while and all kinds of other crap. Anyways tell him that how could you possibly go through and take a little inoccent life away? It's hard enough that you've had a misscarriage, I don't know how that feels but the whole abortion thing is the worse! After the whole thing was over i felt terrible. Just tell him that and see if he could take a life away that he put into this world...I tried to help...hope I did.

Answer 8

Honestly it sounds like he is scared. What isn't to be scared about? A child is a huge responsibility, but in the end this is your choice. The only thing you can say to him is that you just can't do it, you have to live with the consequences. If he keeps bringing it up just tell him to leave if it doesn't want to deal with your decision. There isn't much else you can do sweetheart. Just stay strong for you and the baby and everything will turn out in due time.

Answer 9

What you just told us about the feelings you had w/your
miscarriage, explain this to him. I'm glad he is supporting
you in your decision even if he doesn't agree w/it. That
shows he loves you. He's probably just scared to become
a father & not sure how to react. There's so much help out
there today. You could prob. find a support group or some
parenting classes you can both attend together. Once the
baby is born, your boyfriend will fall in love with her/him, if
not before. Keep him involved in your pg by letting him come
to doc visits, feeling baby when he/she starts moving, etc...
I'm glad you've been together 3 yrs, that shows some
stability in your relationship, at least. Good luck! You know, now,
where to find advice on 'baby rearing' when the time comes!

Answer 10

let him know that this little person inside you already has a heart beat. he helped create that. if he'll support you keeping the baby, and help you raise it, then im pretty sure he'll come around and regret every thinking about abortion by the time baby is here. being pregnant is amazing, im 36 weeks pregnant, and as miserable i may get at times, i love it. i love feeling her move around, i love going to the Dr's and hearing her heart beat, i love dreaming of her every night. its truly amazing. Good luck, God bless, and make the decision that's right for YOU.