My boyfriend and I have been together now for a little more than 3 years. Last year we talked more about marriage then we have this year!! I moved in with him last June and we have been doing a lot of remodeling to the house together and getting along great!! Last time I had mentioned marriage, he said, when i least expect it. Do you think he likes that I do all the stuff a married women does but without him having to marry me??? I do his laundry, I make dinner every night, and always cleaning to make sure he's happy. What do you think? HELP
2007-03-05 06:49:04 · 15 answers · asked by Baby Boy due May 8th =) 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The old saying goes why buy the cow when you can get free milk. That's why it's not wise to live together before getting married. If you love each other enough to want to live together then you need to get married first. Otherwise, it's better to just stay overnight once in awhile. Now you've got the hard task of moving things out and don't even get a dime from what you've already put into "his" house. This is a lesson that many women learn the hard way. Many men would rather play house than make the commitment. It's like you said, you perform all the duties of a wife without him worrying about the financial obligation. The problem you will have now is if he does agree to marry you when he is confronted about it, is it because he really loves you or is it because he doesn't want to lose that housekeeper/cook/sex toy and will it last? He has already exhibited his doubts about commitment by waiting for three years and not taking any action to resolve this. Do you trust his judgement to make a commitment now with the fact that he needs your push to make him do the right thing? I think you picked a man that doesn't know what the word commitment means. I'd move out temporarily to let him find out whether he wants you for the rest of his life or not and before I'd move back in let him know that many husbands cook, clean, do laundry, and vacuum floors. Marriage is an equal partnership - not supervisor and employee.
2007-03-05 07:09:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You've answered your own question. He's feeling married already because you moved in and became a housewife without any commitment. You're his mother, his cleaner, his lover and his labourer and he can just bide the time waiting to see if he "feels like" buying a ring and making things permanent. You're just one of thousands of women who think that moving in means being engaged. WRONG! It means you're so insecure, you'll do anything to try and keep a guy. If you TRULY are feeling that he loves you and if you TRULY feel secure, you'd have absolutely no problems with just saying over the dessert one night , "I think we should get married in August. Do you want a big church wedding or should we just go to Vegas?" If he stammers or puts you off or gets angry - you have your answer. If he loves you, the worst he could say is "August? Wouldn't September be better? I can get holidays then." Or you could say "Mom and dad asked us over for dinner Saturday so we could talk about the wedding. Would your rathre they come over here?" If you're scared to do this, you know your relationship is shaky.
2007-03-05 14:59:48 · answer #2 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is exactly it, plus more. The divorce rate is high and part of the reason is because most of the people who live together get divorced due to the fact that, while single, there is still a freedom. When married that freedom is taken away.
I don't understand it but that is how a guy explained to me (not my boyfriend). And we live together, but we are constantly talking about the wedding and what to do for it.
2007-03-05 14:56:20 · answer #3 · answered by ambr95012 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wish I could help, but I'm still waiting for my boyfriend to pop that same question to me.
We talk about marriage all the time. About what type of wedding we want and where we want it, but he still hasn't asked.
I think they like that we make their lunches, clean the house, and do their laundry without the strings attached.
2007-03-05 14:54:53 · answer #4 · answered by Valentina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you think about it 3 years is not really that long. If things are goiung well now then don't rush into anything. I sounds like he does have intentions of marrying you otherwise you would not be living together. Just calm down things are not in trouble in yor world like it may seem. Just let it happen because the more you keep trying to make him choose a date to propose to you. And as long as he knows that you are thinking about it he just may keep delaying it to mess with you. Good luck
2007-03-05 14:55:51 · answer #5 · answered by ltwatkins77 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Why buy the cow when you are getting the milk for free, sounds like a catchy phrase that applies here. Although you look like one cute cow.
2007-03-05 15:00:14 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think that 3 year is a long time, but maybe you should give him some more time to think you know. you wouldn't want to rush him and make a mistake. i'm sure that he loves what you are doing. just let him take his time and i'm sure that maybe one of these days he'll ask you to marry him.
2007-03-05 14:55:24 · answer #7 · answered by angy 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think he has a good thing going and he doesn't plan on buying the cow when he is getting the milk for free...
2007-03-05 14:57:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give him sometime..Maybe he is still getting used to everything. Maybe slow down on the "wife" chores. Have him start helping alittle more. But marriage isn't something to jump into. When he asks you , it will be worth the wait.
2007-03-05 14:53:17 · answer #9 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
instead of him paying a professional to do him-you do him for free and his laundry and more-what do you think-once i was there too till I came to Jesus Christ my best friend
2007-03-05 14:53:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋