What is the most important thing to have or share to make a marriage work?

Question

Marriage is a very difficult thing to make work, but many people do. Some people meet, and a short time later they marry and they stay married until they die. Others know each other for many years before they marry, and yet it doesn't work. So I was wondering what do you think is the most important thing to have, or share to make a marriage work? Also is there anyone out there married for over 10 years that are in a wonderful marriage, what is the secret to their marriage?

Answer 1

Twelve years this April 1st

Most important thing(s)-
- Communication
- Never set out to win an argument
- Never, ever insult
- Respect everything your partner does and never disrespect
- Apologize even when you are not at fault
- Let it go
- Allow the other person the dignity of losing without throwing it in their face, and admit that they might have a good idea even if its stupid
- The most important thing- love, keep working at it every day, never stop, remember that being in love is a job- some days you can relax and go with the flow and other days you have to bust your hump

Sex is not as important as you get older, its mostly about hand holding, extending the feelings, and being able to accept that "her being wrong is me being half wrong as well."

Good luck

Answer 2

Treat marriage like a well oiled machine. He will bring his crank and bearings to the table, you will bring your chain linkage and crank. Sit down together and build your machine, it may take you two minutes or it may take you two years before you get it right. You will quickly learn that you are missing a couple of parts, don't get alarmed, if you are dedicated to building this machine, you can do without them. This machine may look a little ragged, it won't look like no other machine you've ever seen, it will make sounds that you never heard before, even some friends may second guess it. The important thing is that it work, "it work for you". If your hubby has a good Job, maybe he can afford to buy a wrench and tweak the machine from time to time. If you get some work maybe you can afford to oil it up.

p.s. What ever it takes to keep your machine running smoothly will be the difference in having a mint condition classic or a new high tech gadget with a blown gasket.

Answer 3

I have been married for only 2 years, but to tell you first the first year was the hardest. I have been with this man for 4 years, but after you get married he is no longer trying to win your heart. Just try to talk out your problems. Don't leave the first time you fight because no marriage is a fairy tell that you read when you were five It's life and some people don't understand that it is O.k. to argue.

Answer 4

Marriage is not easy. Kids have very busy schedules, bills need to get paid, kids are sick and someone (who's turn is it) needs to take off (and the bills need paid on a smaller paycheck), kid is starting to drive--need a car (more bill money), college, kids gotta go to the hospital--broken arm (need to have surgery to fix it), broken nose, another broken arm, tore a tendon in his hand (more surgery and 2 months physical therapy)------this has been the last three months for me. There is no time left for the "Happy Couple"
However, I read once that "Divorce is not an option!"
If you think of divorce as an option to get out--who cares how bad it gets? There's always a back door.
So...for us, we agreed, "for better or for worse" "Divorce is not an option."
We've also agreed that we didn't want to put our kids through a divorce. Divorce affects adult children too and grandchildren--so I think I'll be married "til death do us part".
So, unless you're in an abusive situation--forget the word divorce.

Answer 5

First you need the Lord in your marriage. Then you need love, trust. That is one of the most important parts. Then you need understanding. A marriage is what you make of it. as over used of a phrase that is it is the truth. Each marriage is different but then again basically the same. See there are different situations that effect each marriage. So just do your best. work at it daily.

Answer 6

Your wife should be your best friend, if not work on this. I have been married for 40 years and I think a loving friendship is the key to a sound marriage.

Answer 7

as of 3-7-07 i will have been married 21 years. there is no secret every marriage is different. it is like a garden it has to be tended to, weeded, water, and plenty of love. everyday i wake up he is there beside me. we tell each other we love each other several times a day. i do not have to wonder where he is or what he is doing, the same with him. we talk,respect, and love each other

Answer 8

Trust, respect and open communication.

They all go hand in hand.

Trust is self explanatory, respect means accepting each other for who they are and not trying to change the other and open communication means you talk about EVERYTHING and hold in no secrets.

My marriage lasted nearly 10 yrs and was AWESOME...until I couldn't communicate with him anymore and it ended.

Best of luck.

Answer 9

Don't let a piece of paper( your marrage papers), let you thnk that you own the person your married to. talk to your partner, your partner should be your best friend, be there for your partner, you may need to kindle your romance, surprize your partner with a get away weekend or cook a dinner and eat it by candle light or out side under the moon and stars.

Answer 10

I am with Harmon on this one,that is the best answer out there,could not said it better myself.