English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

ok, I was approached by a friend who was need iof some advice on what to do.
ok she's really unhappy since her marriage failed, and she refuses to file for divorce in hopes that they'll get back together. The problem w/that is that when they were married it wase'nt completely a healthy realtionship, there were drugs used by both, but on his end he got carried away and pertty much flipped, so they split. Now her entire family, friends everybody in her life ( encluding me) don't care for him at all, and we all believe that she can do soooooooooooooooooooooooo much better. But now I'm knowing how she really feels, that this girl whom I've been friends w/ 4 a very long time, is soooooooooooooo completely in love w/ this man, that she cry's her self to sleep everynight, just hoping and praying that she'll get just one more chance to do it over and make things right for her and her daughter, to prove everybody wrong. Now what do i say to that? how can i actually help?

2007-03-05 06:34:42 · 13 answers · asked by D lux 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

13 answers

If she wants to "make things right" for her and her daughter, then going back to her druggie, immature, irresponsible boyfriend is not going to do the trick. Tell her to grow up, stop being so selfish, and make her daughter number one priority in her life.

2007-03-05 06:39:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If she is doing it to prove people wrong, that's a bad motive and can only spell disaster and lead her to more unhappiness. Tell her that if she really wants to work it out she should get off the drugs and be firm about not taking him back unless he does the same-especially with a daughter. CPS can take the kid and probably should if drugs are going to be involved. You need to remind her that she has the responsibility to care for her child, a home with drugs is dangerous, I've seen tooooo many accidents happen when people just occasionally used or "had it under control" and it's always the kids that get hurt. Once she gets herself straightened out and back on her feet, she will be better able to deal with him and the possiblity of getting back together. If you think the guy is really bad for her try to build her confidence and show her that shhe deserves better, and so does her daughter.

2007-03-05 14:44:25 · answer #2 · answered by kittymimm 3 · 0 0

okay that sucks drugs are a bond between them if shes clean now they will get high together again i know this is true because well i know anyways her daughter is better off with one person who is sad bad straight then two parents that are stoned. Everything got carried away last time which result them splitting up so somthing happened harsh enought for the flip out to happen. There are no words to heal heart ache. listen but dont say how much you hate him or she will feel more alone

2007-03-05 14:41:44 · answer #3 · answered by tangerine 1 · 1 0

Some women hang on to a relationship that has ended and just refuse to move on. She is in denial. Nobody can make her file for a divorce but it's going to break her heart when she gets served with the papers once he files.
She needs to go out with friends and find someone that will take her mind off the husband. Once this happens then maybe she will realize that what she had was bad for her and she can do better in life.
She's got to be strong and she has to be the one to open her eyes.

2007-03-05 14:41:11 · answer #4 · answered by Valentina 3 · 0 0

I see that 3 things have to happen for them to get together:

1) He has to get his act together, and get straight - no more drugs.

2) so does she.

3) she also has to become more independent, and not base her whole happiness, self-worth, emotional health, and in general her life on a guy who likes drugs more than her. Yeah, addiction can do that to a person. She needs to realize that the guy she sees now is not the one she fell in love with, and then move on. Maybe the guy will manage to clean up his act - maybe not. Her main concern now has to be the health and wellbeing of the little girl.

2007-03-05 14:42:03 · answer #5 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 1 0

I'm not sure you can help her at this point. I think the drugs must have messed up her mind also if she even wants to think about taking a child back in to such a disastrous relationship. She needs to stay away from the drugs, stay away from him and turn her attention toward this young child. He sounds like a hopeless individual to me.

2007-03-05 14:43:30 · answer #6 · answered by Debbie 4 · 0 0

all you can do is be there and let time heal. She will have to get over that on her own. Since drugs are involved I am assuming she is breaking two addictions. If not then she needs to and clean up all together at once.

2007-03-05 14:39:32 · answer #7 · answered by BettieRulz 2 · 1 0

When there's drugs involved you have people who are emotionally unstable.If they get help and get clean,there's a
chance they could work things out.If not let it go.Nothing but hurt and wasted time to try to reason with a drug addict or alcoholic...
Been there done that.You don't win.

2007-03-05 14:42:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

No...she needs to determine when it is time to move on for herself. Part of this is a healing process and part of it is a self discovery process. Just be there for her and to listen to her.

2007-03-05 14:38:40 · answer #9 · answered by BAM 7 · 1 0

she needs to take care of herself and her daughter and get her life back on track. get clean if she isnt yet. and her husband needs to take care of his demons. they both have issues that need to be taken care of on an individual basis. before they can think about getting back to gether.

2007-03-05 14:38:54 · answer #10 · answered by braille 5 · 1 0

fedest.com, questions and answers