How do "you" deal with death?

Question

When iformed a friend has died or a family member what are "your" reactions, statements, feelings, and how do you get over them?

Answer 1

You continue to live, but you never ever forget the person that you have lost, you carry the memories with you always, and so in a way, they live on, through the people that they cared for, and who cared for them. ...I hope that helps.

Answer 2

you never get over someone dying, you just get more used to them not being there, and you move on. My nan died last year, and my older brother the year before...
The feelings that will most probably occur during bereavement, and prior to the death, are feelings of denial, anger, hurt, maybe numbness, you might stop trusting people, you might forget how to love the same way again and so on...
But the best way I think to get through a death, is to deal with the fact that they have died, and instead of running away like i did; from the stiuation - keep remembering them consciously everyday, look at photos and talk about them...
This may seem hard to do, but I would also suggest to others who have lost someone to seek therapy.
I was angry and bitter when my brother died. And I eventually had a major breakdown - not one of those namby pamby taking pills for a while ones - a serious breakdown, which to this day I vow never to get close to that again. When my nan had died, i didnt care.
I was too numb from my brother dying. But I havent got over it, just coping with it each day. Losing someone in your life will be carried around with you forever.

Answer 3

I believe our souls are eternal and I don't believe in hell or damnation, and that combination makes it much easier to cope with death.

My initial reaction is sadness that the person is no longer sharing my physical reality. I make a point to either write them a letter or mentally tell them how I feel and thank them for all they have done for me and wish them luck in their next adventure. I usually don't cry until the wake. I can never bring myself to touch the corpse... I know my loved one isn't 'in there' anymore, but I do find the viewing provides a sense of closure. During the wake and funeral, I make a point of focusing on the good times previously shared... I try to comfort others by sharing good memories with them, and I try to conduct myself in a manner that would make the deceased proud. My family has a tradition of going out to the person's favorite restaurant and ordering their favorite things from the menu and raising a glass in their honor. And I may sound like a broken record, but when others feel guilty for laughing at a joke or momentarily 'forgetting to be sad', I am the first to point out that our loved one would want them to be happy... and our loved one is laughing at the joke too. And that is how I move on. I believe it is a dishonor to the deceased to allow myself to fall into a depression. I know that person would want me to look past the immediate pain towards building the brightest possible future for myself, so that is how I honor those who have passed on.

My warmest sympathies to you for all the loved ones you have lost.

Answer 4

I have done different things to "deal" with the sudden death of my father in law who was hit by a car, "here one minute and gone the next." Of course my husband's loss of his father is far greater than the loss of a father-in-law, but he was a great man and grandfather. At first I kept thinking the hospital was wrong some how, it was all a mistake, but then as time went by we knew he wasn't coming back. Dealing with it for me meant accepting it so that I could make peace with it and it also meant being strong for my husband who really took it hard. We also no longer drive as we view cars as death mobiles but can afford that luxury as we relocated partly as a result of that death to NY where one does not need a car. And lastly time, its been over two years now and the impact is changing, different not less.
Hope this helps.

Answer 5

I am a strange duck and have learned over time you cannot keep people from dying. I go to the funeral for the spouse or person left behind. I help if needed. But, I am a Christian and being out of this world would be a blessing.

Answer 6

I actually wanted someone around. My dad passed away about a year and a half ago. I found out at work in the morning. There was someone with me the whole day till that evening when I drove up to my parents place (2 hour drive).
You don't get over it that easily. I think about my dad all the time and dream about him almost every night. I miss him dearly.
I prayed, for the first time in my life, I said 'God, please grant me the strentgh to get thru this day'.

Answer 7

When dealing with death, the solution is the same whether the death is our own or that of a loved one. As hard as it is to accept, we must understand that death is a part of life. As some have quipped, death is the only thing in life that comes with a 100% guarantee.

It is helpful to realized that while our bodies are mortal, all human beings are eternal - our soul and spirit will never die. Our spirits - the essence of who we are - will live forever! \

We may think of death as final, but there is no end in the plan of God. We are eternal beings in His sight. Have you ever wondered why, even though your body might be aging, you don't feel "older" inside? It's because your spirit is eternal. The Bible says that God has placed eternity in our hearts God desires for us to spend eternity with Him, yet He has left that choice up to us. God has made all the provisions for us to be with Him forever. He has no greater love than His love for us.
After someone close to you dies, you go through a process of mourning. Grief is the visible sign of that mourning and encompasses a wide range of physical and emotional symptoms that you experience after a loss. It is vital to let your feelings out as by bottling them up will only lead to emotional problems in the future.



Grieving for a loved one takes time. We all go through the process in different ways, and often experience conflicting or even overwhelming feelings, but slowly life will become more bearable.



The important thing is to get support from people you trust. Your family and friends all understand what you're dealing with, and will want to help. Exactly how is down to you. Whether you want to talk about your feelings, reflect on your loss, or simply get out to take your mind off things, just do whatever feels right and makes you feel better. And remember to keep in touch with your doctor. If you are having sleeping problems, your doctor may prescribe sleeping tablets or may refer you to a counsellor if you feel the need for more help to cope with a loss.

The grieving process takes time and should not be hurried. How long it will take depends on you and your situation. In general, though, it takes most people one to two years to fully recover from a major bereavement. It's common to feel especially vulnerable at times such as their birthday, the anniversary of their death, and during the Christmas holidays

Answer 8

When I first hear, I always somehow go back and think of all the good times we had. I always feel bad. But to me the only way to get over losing someone, is by time. Time heals everything, even when we dont see or feel anything.

Answer 9

At this point in my life i havent had anyone close to me die
but i think i would probably be in shock for the first few minutes then cant speak for the next ten minutes and then scream and cry for next few hours and then maybe have a pain in my heart that never goes away ...............this is what i think although like i said i havent had a death in family or friends in like never...

Answer 10

As a nurse, I see death every day, almost. The older I get, the more I don't see death as a bad thing. When we cry for someone who has passed, we are really crying for ourselves because we miss that person. It is my belief that when we die, we go to a far better place.

Answer 11

That feeling of when you go over the top of a rollercoaster, and your stomach is in your throat. Then I cry, then I'm in shock. After things wear down, I laugh, and I cry in the same sentance. It's weird. Time is the only thing that helps you get over them.