My life sucks, what can I do to stop blowing money on comfort purchases?

Answer 1

Ok....keep in mind that I have much the same problems that you do, with regards to money management, spending too much on comfort items, that sort of thing....so this really is a case of the blind leading the less blind, sorry....but....

--One thing that does occur to me is that you aren't being specific. What do you mean by "comfort" purchases? Because some comfort purchases are more destructive than others. And some comfort purchases are more *necessary* than others. I think you know what I am talking about here....

Food, nice clothes, maybe the occasional night out.....these are some of your needed comforts. But there are some in there that aren't necessary really and can hurt way more than help: alcohol, lottery tickets, and anything *more* than the occasional playing of video games (if it happens daily and still isn't enough, it is an addiction).

So what I'd say you need to do is to make a list or two. Take a sheet of paper, divide it down the middle. On your left side, put down all your *needed* comforts, start with basics like food clothing and shelter, then elaborate as needed. On your right....list everything you think you can do without, or that you know, objectively, isn't healthy for you (drinking, smoking, lottery tickets, etc.).

Then tape that list up on a wall, at eye level so you don't forget it, and stick to the needed stuff on the left side. This does two things: First, it lets you admit that if your life "sucks", that you do need some comforts, that it is called *Self Care*, two difficult words that my own counselor has to drill into my skull every week still. Second, it lets you see that some of the stuff you are doing might be addictive and unhealthy, and the eye-level reminder lets you know that you *can* give up the unhealthy crap and *still* have some comforts in your life.

--The other thing you don't mention is if budgeting is a concern. It might not be, but the way you talk about "blowing money", there is clearly some concern that it *might be* at some point.

So here is what you do. Get a small, 4 X 6 inch notecard and a pen. A calculator helps with this too. Figure out what you make in a month--total income, from all sources. Put that at the top of your card. Make a *short* list of Bills you have to pay (rent, power, telephone, etc.), of not more than five items. Then make a shorter list of Needs (paying credit debts and/or savings, groceries, clothing, laundry, etc.), again, four items or fewer.

Add up your Bills (which should just be bare-bones basics) and your Needs (a bit more personal, but still basics), and subtract the total from your Income above at the top.

What you have left after Bills and Needs is Mad Money, or Comfort Money. This is what you have to spend on comfort items in a month, particularly anything from the *right* side of your Comforts list that you are trying to *avoid*.

If you keep yourself honest and your Bills and Needs *basic* enough, you should have some money left on a monthly level. Or every week, or two weeks, depending on how you get paid. The point is not to cover everything, but instead to keep it simple, so you can stick up the *notecard* as an eye-level reminder that you really only have five Bills, at most, and four Needs, at most, to take care of at any given time, and that *those* should not leave you broke.

--If for some reason aside from an addictive or unhealthy comfort you find yourself broke or in debt each month....what you may want to do is to start taking care of some of your Needs in advance.

Buy your quarters a roll at a time *when you cash your paycheck* so that they are there later when you have laundry to do. Look into buying gift cards--for *yourself* to use later at larger stores like your Targets or Meijers or Costcos, so that you know, you have a resource set aside so that no matter what you do, *you WILL* have something for groceries. Get in the habit of putting money and/or gift cards for yourself *back* in envelopes in your desk or cabinet drawers....get your resources *out* of your pockets where they can get used up.

Invest in a piggy bank. Or six, one for each denomination of coin, and stop spending your loose change.

Point is, there are plenty of ways to assert control over your money so that your budget will work, and most of them involve taking your cash *out* of your pocket (and immediate reach) now so you can hold it back for later. Experiment with rolled coin, gift cards *for yourself* and piggy banks and see what works for you.

I hope at least some of this helps....and thanks for your time.

Don't be so hard on yourself....everyone needs *some comforts* sometimes. ^_^ Self Care is also an act of discipline.

Answer 2

Interest yourself in some groups that will take up your time, or get involved in more activities. I know that buying things to relieve some pressure can be a hard habit to break, but it can be done. I would try reading more. Go to book stores often and sit and read for awhile, if that's something you like to do. Find someone with your similar problem so that you have someone to empathize with. And in turn, being able to understand and help that other person will then help you, in many ways you didn't know were possible. That can be the biggest help I think.
Best of Luck to you.

Answer 3

Stop and take inventory. Put your money away. We all have holes in us we need to fill. Comfort purchases cause you discomfort, financially. Find ways to feel better, whether it's a new hobby, exercise, volunteering, writing, painting. Shopping to feel better is an addiction. Yes, I know. I used to be a shopaholic. Stop cold turkey and stay away from the malls. It's easier than you think.

Answer 4

talk to a therapist because if you keep doing this you'll end up with no money and in alot of trouble.also set yourself up a savings account and promise yourself to put money into it every week or month and save this money..dont touch it.i have a bad life too and ive gone through a phase like that in fact i still think if i had all this stuff i'd be happier but im not sure.so i know how you feel.but just try to control yourself and make a list. get one thing off your list a week or month or whatever works for you...

Answer 5

If you really want to know how life sucks, just look for the poor and pitty people at your neighbourhood. Then spend some money on them, and see will stop extravagance and life stop sucking you. And its my promise, you will get satisfaction with no lose of money.

Answer 6

True, finding interests other than what might require spending money is a great way to control your spending. Another thing you might do is pay bills before you have a chance to waste money. You can put your money into savings or invest it otherwise. Keep accessible only what is necessary.

Answer 7

If you go to 'Dave ramsey.com' He has a book out called 'The Total Money Makeover'. He has excellant ideas on how to solve your problem. All the best

Answer 8

Religion might offer some relief.

I know that Buddhism is an ideology that specifically teaches one how to be happy with what one has, and to realize the irrelevance of material possesions.

Answer 9

Volunteer to read books to kids at the library or something of that nature. I think you'll find that allot more rewarding than anything you can buy, I know I did.

Answer 10

if your life sucks *because* of your spending problems, you might be suffering from an addiction... in which case a total overhaul would be required to help you on your way to recovery..