Okay, I have a bit of a problem, and don’t quite know what to do....
After a break-up it’s been quite a while now, well --- almost a year,
And I can’t seem to be able to re-commit myself in any other relationship, I mean I've turned down a bunch of people, and I have been looking, it’s not like I have not!! But, I am constantly running away from it, I just can’t see myself in one again for some reason,
Yesterday, this guy I had a huge thing for sometime back, told me that he feels the same and also tried to make a move on me, and I just didn’t feel anything at all..... Is that strange?? What’s happening?
What do I do??
Please help, advice and opinions appreciated.
Thanks allot
2007-03-05 06:09:06 · 20 answers · asked by . 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I guess it depends on how involved your last relationship was and how long you were in it. That relationship probably meant a lot to you, and the break-up even more, if you haven't been able to have a normal relationship since. You may still be emotionally recovering from it and are not wanting to consider yourself being happy with anybody else. It is possible, though. And I don't know what that last relationship meant to you, but I know it sure is hard to get rid of it. And it's hard to stop thinking about. My advice would be to go one step at a time, and tell this new person to slow down a bit, if that's what you want. Try out something with them first, and if it's not pleasing you, work slowly and start with new people. You will work your way back into the relationship scene, and will eventually figure out again what it is that you want for yourself and for the other person in the relationship. It's hard to get back in the swing of things, but you just have to realize that it takes some time, and that you won't be able to do it without trying and without understanding. Best of luck to you.
2007-03-05 06:15:48 · answer #1 · answered by Mellio 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are hurt, confused and afraid to trust anyone again, including yourself. Be patient with yourself because pain takes time to heal and every relationship is not the same so don't rush into a new situation until you are ready. Remember, it is perfectly okay to be alone so that you can get to know yourself again and decide when and where you want your life to go. You are going to be just fine, in due season. I wish you the best.
Also, please don't judge your situation by what you think other people may do or think because you are a unique individual and you must go forth at your own personal pace, and in your own special way.
2007-03-05 17:49:30 · answer #2 · answered by Bethany 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say who broke up with who here, but it sounds to me like you're still "stuck-on" the person from a year ago. Well, sounds like my experience when me and my boyfriend broke up - no matter what I did or who I tried to commit myself to, I couldn't do it.
If you don't think you still have feelings for the other half from a year ago, then I am not sure what to say.
If you do and know there is no way of getting them back, stop attempting to make a commitment happen. Take life as it comes and just let things happen. There is no urgency in having a relationship, just try and have fun in your current situation and you never know what is just around the corner.
Good luck :).
2007-03-05 14:15:53 · answer #3 · answered by Domina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety....It's called down time. More people should try this between relationships. It will be over when suddenly someone does attract your attention. In the meantime live life and be happy with who you are as an individual. That will make you the best candidate to be part of a great couple.
2007-03-05 14:16:54 · answer #4 · answered by NakasEvilTwin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never "broken up" with someone, per se, but when my husband (married 28 years!) died (about 10 years ago), I thought I would never know a happy moment again for the rest of my life - and that "rest of my life" could not be short enough to suit me!
It was the 8th wonder of the world that I could even get out of bed in the mornings and put my shoes on the right feet. I was NOT EVEN ready to face life again - but I had no choice, because there was LIFE facing ME and I had to deal with it.
All alone and struggling for my day-to-day existance, I somehow managed to hold down a job and keep going.
I wasn't aware of the gradual change as it was happening, but about 2 years after his death my daughter came to visit me. When it was time to return to her home (in another state) she was complaining about the upcoming Greyhound bus trip. I remarked that I had always enjoyed travelling by bus.
She responded, almost resentfully, "Oh, Mom, YOU enjoy just about EVERYTHING!"
It was at that moment that I realized it was true - I DID! I had recovered and regained my old "joi-de-vivre" and never even realized it till that very second.
The funny thing about "love' is that no matter HOW hard you look for it you will never find it - IT will find YOU! It was that way with my late husband and now it happened that way again - with my fiance (and he is so wonderful that, now, I wouldn't trade him for my husband back alive and well, even if I could!).
When I have looked exhaustively in every direction for love and gotten totally disheartened over my failure to find it, it managed to sneak up behind me and appear when I least expected it.
When that happens, there is no more delightful feeling.
Never lose faith in life, love and yourself.
2007-03-05 15:55:06 · answer #5 · answered by monarch butterfly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry and wish that i could be as of more help to your situation but I have never been in a situation such as yours. Of what i have learned from my friends and studied what they have felt and done in the past it is normal for you to be feeling as you are. My friend had felt the same a wile back and she just ignored it and got over it. That is all i can tell you, i hope that everything will work out and God Bless
2007-03-05 14:16:03 · answer #6 · answered by skater-chick133131 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought that maybe your NOT ready for a relationship yet? Are you STILL getting over the breakup from a year ago. Maybe your just scared of commitment. All you can do is give yourself some time.
2007-03-05 14:14:32 · answer #7 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Had the same problem myself. Just don't rush it. It takes different people different amounts of time to get over a broken heart. Time is the only cure - and the time will come when you'll be ready again.
2007-03-05 14:13:38 · answer #8 · answered by Terri A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have entered into that gray area in life, your body and mind want to do one thing but your heart keeps stopping you! Your heart is telling you "no, I don't want to be broken again". Therefore, you find it extremely difficult to get too close to anyone for fear that this will happen all over again. What you need is a new focus......so channel your energy into getting fit, taking up a new sport, volunteering, teaching, studying...any activity that takes focus and concentration, which other people rely on you to complete, whose accomplishment will build your self-esteem.
2007-03-05 14:22:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to sound harsh, and apperently you felt a very deep bond with your ex who you've been away from for a year, but you need to get over it. Myself being a man i kno how bad it hurts to be in a situation with a girl who is the same way as you are, it really sucks
2007-03-05 14:27:18 · answer #10 · answered by berrios89 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋