Okay, I have a bit of a problem, and don’t quite know what to do....
After a break-up it’s been quite a while now, well --- almost a year,
And I can’t seem to be able to re-commit myself in any other relationship, I mean I've turned down a bunch of people, and I have been looking, it’s not like I have not!! But, I am constantly running away from it, I just can’t see myself in one again for some reason,
Yesterday, this guy I had a huge thing for sometime back, told me that he feels the same and also tried to make a move on me, and I just didn’t feel anything at all..... Is that strange?? What’s happening?
What do I do??
Please help, advice and opinions appreciated.
Thanks allot
2007-03-05 06:08:46 · 18 answers · asked by . 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is normal to be reluctant to enter into another relationship so soon after getting hurt. You are protecting yourself from getting hurt again. With time you should be able to open up your heart to others once again and be able to establish new relationships. After being hurt it can be difficult to learn to trust again. Best of luck to you!
2007-03-05 06:14:05 · answer #1 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop It! Stop It! Stop It!
Your brain is moving on and the rest of "you" is stuck in the past. You want to feel that great feeling that a man can give, you want to be seen as the girl that bounced back, you want to convince yourself that you can get a man. Stop It!
This guy has left you spinning your wheels. You can't find a man right now because deep down inside, you know you don't need him right now. The clue was when you said "you turned down a bunch of people and its not like you haven't been looking".
You can't replace whats not missing. Once you realize that this chapter of your life is closed, its over, THE END, the better off you will be and the sooner you can move on. As far as it being a year ago doesn't mean its been long enough for you. Take a little more time for yourself and stop, just stop LQQKING for that man, Just Stop It!
2007-03-05 06:30:24 · answer #2 · answered by dadgonewild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might need more time to be single. You might be looking but probably because you want companionship and not a relationship. Pick up a past time or a hobby that includes other people. This fills up your time with stuff to do and not being lonely. This also gives you time to heal or become comfortable with being single again. You do not want to rush into a relationship after a bad breakup (doesnt matter how long it has been). As far as your friend goes, let him know your feelings and decide to hang out as friends. After a while, you'll see what's best for you, stay friends or move on to bigger things. At the end, you'll wind up winning a friend or a boyfriend. Good luck!!!
2007-03-05 06:19:42 · answer #3 · answered by Negrita Linda 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first thing did your ex move on? If so I was in the same place about 4 years ago.... I just gave it a shot, I went out with this guy and all I could think about was my ex, but the guy never did anything wrong and I let him know I just got out of a serious relationship a couple months later I started to love this guy and 2 years later we got married. Now I have two kids. Yes deep down you will still love your ex. But look where you can be if you just give it a shot. My dad also got a divorce and he thought the same thing I just made him go out and he dated a few women til he found the right one and now he couldn't be more happier and he is getting remarried this year.... JUST TRY
2007-03-05 06:19:59 · answer #4 · answered by Rose K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're just not ready for a relationship yet. I was with a guy for 3 years. We were engaged and broke up 3 months before the wedding. It was 3 years before I was able to get into another long term relationship. there's nothing wrong with you, you're just not ready. You may still have some feelings for your ex and you may still be grieving for the life you planned that never happened. Don't force yourself into a relationship just to be in one. That would be a mistake for both of you. Just relax and take each guy on a case by case. When you find the one you really want to be with, you won't run from it.
2007-03-05 06:14:42 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may seem like it has been a long time sense your break up, but emotionally, you just have not completely moved on, that's OK, give your self time to heal. When you are ready to date again, you won't feel as skittish. And the guy you have a crush on, did he make "a move on you", or did he ask you out?? If he just made a pass at you, that would be awkward & rude, (of course your instincs would be to back away), now if he asked you out, maybe you could tell him just for coffee or something causual, until you feel ready too date.
2007-03-05 06:21:31 · answer #6 · answered by Kimberly H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you aren't over your previous relationship. I went thru the same thing not too long ago. I would say that I wanted to be with someone and then when I would start to date, I always found a reason to end it. I just wasnt ready. I took some time to myself and focused on me for a little bit.
I am now more than happy in my current relationship and I have fully committed myself to him. It just takes time and the right person
2007-03-05 06:14:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this but, I can relate so well to your sitution. But it takes time and almost a yr is a long time you'r heart needs time to heal. What you should try doing is instead of jumping right into a bf/gf realtionship straight into the complicated stuff, you might want to build a friend ship w/ the person of interest, and explain to them just what it is your going through. He he really likes and cares about you he'll go along w/it and work on building a friendship and trust then move on to something more serrious. Good luck and keep you'r head up.
2007-03-05 06:18:03 · answer #8 · answered by D lux 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has been almost a year for me now as well, and have been on a few dates and don't feel anything yet either. I think for me enough time just hasn't past yet. I'm not worried about it either. The way I see it when I'm ready it will happen all by itself without having to do a lot about it. When you least expect something to happen it probably will all by itself. Just work on you -exercise - eat right and have fun being by yourself without having to answer to anybody. Good Luck and Take Care.
2007-03-05 06:24:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're simply not ready to get back out there yet. Stop putting so much ressure on yourself and just learn to tell guys no...you're taking a break.
Women need to learn how to enjoy life without a man before they are so anxious to be all up under one guy after the other because that's what's expected of them,
2007-03-05 06:18:51 · answer #10 · answered by huckleberry1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋