do you think my husband has a right to rub his paycheck in my face?

Question

my hubby is military and i stay at home and take care of our son.he is always rubbibg it in my face that he makes all the money so he can do what he wants with it. i disagree since he has a family and wont even let me get a job. tell me what you think?

Answer 1

I think you and Kari need to trade husbands:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AozeXq1SZCsyofx3Vtxes4vB7BR.?qid=20070305104606AAii0OD

But seriously, it's just a way to control you and make him feel like a big man. I would still try and get a job since you will need it because things don't look like they're going well.

Answer 2

It is totally wrong that he does that to you. For one, you are saving your family money by not working and having your son in daycare. And look at the care your son is getting by you taking care of him. He could be in a daycare crying because no one can get to him because they are dealing with the other 5 kids that are crying. Or he could always sick because people bring their kids to the daycare sick so there is added costs for medication. Then you keep the house clean. If you worked he would have to come home and help clean in the evenings. You also have the meal ready when he gets home. If you worked you wouldn't be eating until late at night. If you worked you would have to buy nice dress clothes and would also need money to eat lunch etc. And you are now available to do the errands that need to be done during the day. He really has ticked me off by saying that. He should appreciate that you chose to be a mother and a wife over a career. Those types of women are hard to come by these days. Perhaps he needs to hear you say how proud you are of him going out and working and providing for the family. But he shouldn't be putting you down because you don't earn a paycheck. Your stay at home mom job has been proven to be the equivilant of 2 full time jobs. It is hard work and you should be commended for doing it.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Won't "let" you get a job? Just go get a damn job and find a good daycare. What a jerk. You know dam good and well he doesn't have the "right" to rub his paycheck in your face, but he probably enjoys doing it and controlling you as well. He thinks you are just laying on your *** all day and don't do much of nothing, that you are a "kept" woman and only deserve what crumbs he decides to throw your way. You KNOW you contribute just as much as he does, he is not giving you any credit for taking care of his home or the child. I PROMISE you.....he will continue to disrespect you in this way until you earn your own money. Best of luck to you, dear.

Answer 4

Start charging for child care, cooking, and all the other household chores you do. If he doesn't want to pay, put it this way: "Either it's our money, or it's your money. If it's your money that you're being paid for your services, I deserve to be paid for my services as well. If it's our money, then you can't wave it in my face and I have just as much say as you do."

This is so wierd to me. My wife is a stay at home wife and mother, and I'm the one who makes all the money, but our situation is almost reverse in a way. She has complete control of the checkbook, because she's the one that buys the groceries, the diapers, she's the one who drives down to pay the electric bill and writes the check to pay the mortgage. If my wife started pulling out $50 a week to save up for a trip to Disneyland for one, I'd never know. But if I spent a nickle at work that we hadn't discussed before hand, I'd have to answer for it when I got home. I may be the "bread winner," but I'm also the one on an allowance. It's the way I was raised. My parents are the same way. Worked for them, it's working for us.

Obviously, I can do this because I trust her. She *could* start taking advantage of me, but she wouldn't.

Answer 5

First off, what branch of the Military is he in? And regardless of the fact that he is in the military no man has the right to do that, to straight insult his wife, the women he is supposed to love?. A man has certain responsibilities and he is not able to tend to those then he has not the right to call himself a man. He does however deserve respect for joining the military, but a boy who cannot take care of his own responsibilities is a boy and not a man

Answer 6

This is a form of abuse. It's called economical abuse if he is withholding mney from you, not allowing you access to funds, and such. Anything that hurts you words, fists, money, mental all these things can range in a catagory of abuse. You need to get your own job, and be able to feel good about making a way for yourself. If you decide to divorce then you will be without money of your own. I suggest you take a look at the relationship, and draw a line somewhere in it. If he still refuses to allow you to work then you need to think about your relationship, and decide if this is really how you want to live.

Answer 7

Your man rubs his paycheck in your face and informs you that he will do what he wants with it. Sounds like the one with the problem here is, you. You have a son and you are allowing his father to treat you like crap. Go out and get a job. If your man refuses to "allow" you to work, then leave. My ex husband tried to do that to me. It started out that I couldn't work, then no friends, then the hitting started. You can either save yourself a lot of time and grief or you can stay in your situation and allow your husband to treat you like a slave. Thank you and good luck.

Answer 8

Sounds like your husband has control issues. Both of you should get good counseling. You to keep your head on straight and your husband should get his straightened. Its better to work hard on a marriage problem early that wait until it is too late. Don't believe that the situation is one sided. Bring God into it. Keep your eyes open.

Answer 9

You have a very important job - wife and mother. He should hand you the cheque, keep a predetermined amount for himself, you keep the same amount for yourself, and you administer the rest for bills. You are the home manager and should be paid accordingly.

Answer 10

TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL. DO NOT BE SCARED TO SPEAK UP.. IF YOU DON'T HE WILL CONTINUE THIS AND YOU WILL BE MISERABLE. EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT FAMILY SHOULD COME FIRST AND IF HE CHOOSES TO BE THE HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD HE NEEDS TO BE CONSIDERATE OR LET YOU GET A JOB.