Husband says that I need to see my therapist again and start meds again .See I have been accusing him of having an affair behind my back .He says that He has not cheated on me and will never will.I really want to believe him but I just can't seem to find it in my heart to believe him.He says that I am just imaging things.And he is getting so stressed out over this that he wants to stick a gun to his head and blow it off. I don't want to lose him due to cheating nor killing himself.I need all the help that I can get.How can I shake this feeling of him cheating if he says that he is not.could I really be loosing my mind Or does he just want me to think that he is not having an affair.Please someone help me.
2007-03-05 05:14:37 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To lilliyl What do you mean by lier lier If you would like to e-mail please do so .
2007-03-05 05:54:34 · update #1
Investigate and find out if he is cheating. A person's gut feeling is usually right.
2007-03-05 05:24:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to put your doubt to the side and not say anything. Even if you want to ask him or accuse him, DON'T! By constantly accusing him whether it's true or not all your doing is making him push further from you. If he isn't cheating, if you constantly say things about it, he's going to go out and do it. Guys have the mentality of "Well I'm getting accused of it, might as well do it." But I've been there before and it is hard to just let it go when you get that gut feeling. But just live your life, love him, and don't say things. If it's going on you will find out. If it's not you don't want to miss the good times because you were unsure. You say you don't want to loose him that's why you constantly ask the questions and accuse him. But if he is do you really think he'll just say "Okay, yes I'm cheating." If it is true, hope it isn't, but if it is you'll hurt now just as bad as later. Keep your head up and don't miss the good times!!!
2007-03-05 13:27:31 · answer #2 · answered by Dianna M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you say another accusation about his infidelity make sure you have some evidence other than your fears. Women have very good intuition, but there is also the possibility that he is telling the truth. I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt for now .I would rather you not take meds and work it out in your own mind.Those meds alter your conscious thought process more than many might think. Don't stress him out anymore your making it worse. Give it a break for awhile. Think it through.
2007-03-05 13:22:25 · answer #3 · answered by jeff7241 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to calm down and talk to somebody. Whether that be your husband or your best friend or your mother, just talk to somebody and get everything off of your chest. It will leave you feeling a bit more level-headed. Then go over why you think he may be having an affair. Is it just a huge fear that you have or is he acting strange or what? Talk it over and then go and talk to him about your fears and why you have them or why you feel they are justified and perhaps true. Maybe this is happening and maybe it's not, but you've got to talk it out and if talking to people you know doesn't help, then get professional help, okay? Don't let things tear you apart. Life is too short.
2007-03-05 13:21:07 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Glass 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings may be on the money. What is he doing to make you think this, late at work, never home, non explaination of extended trips to the "store", talking with other women (hiding it), no sex drive. etc.
I have the same feeling in my marriage and even though he deines (and I want to beleive him) all the cards point to the affair. So what are we to do unless we find out first hand - catching them in the act or a reliable source catching them. Do some asking around - friends he works with - maybe not too close as they will tell him you are asking.
Maybe both of you need counseling.
2007-03-05 13:42:07 · answer #5 · answered by Confussedhere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, honey, you are not "Crazy" to be thinking this!!! I myself have been known to accuse my Ex of cheating, as well.. So, just know you are not alone in this!! If he's giving you reason's to think this , than most likely "He's Quilty" as charged!! Or, if he's not cheating, than why doesn't he do more to make you feel more 'Secure' in your marriage, you know.. Instead of telling you "you need to see a Shrink" what kind of support is that from him? Or he's going to blow his brains out, if you dont stop?!!! My gosh what kind of Man is he, if he is one?!!! He's a "Weak Man, if you ask me!!!" You dont need to see a therapist, unless he goes too!!! Because he's the reason, for driving you crazy with these thoughts I say he should go see a "Therapist" with you, so you both can talk things out, and this way you'll both have a "mediator" of sorts, who can be on the "Ouside" looking in on your perspecives of what your accusations are about, but go too a "Female one, hun!!" Atleast if she's had patient's who have had "cheating issues, she'll know, if he is or not, you know... So, take him along for the ride and then tell him your scared to go alone, to please go in with you!! And sort of trick him into going with you, but instead of it being a "Therapist" make an appt., with a "Marriage Counselor" and this way you can save your marriage, one way or another, through these session's.. I would do it through a "christian church" many of them have "marriage Counseling" and you both can also get "Spirtually Fed" while your there, you know.. But , just remember, you are "NOT ALONE!!!" There are too many of us out here, who have been in your shoes, oh too many times, trust me on this one!! And I'm too the point to where I dont feel there are any "Faithful Men" left out there, so I just stay "single".. You have a "Wonderful day, for me hun!!" And just dont even think about none of it, today, if it kills you!! Stress will just add "Gray hair" to your head!! Let it lay, and put it all on the back burner, before you give yourself a "Nervous Breakdown" , you know.. Smile!!!!
2007-03-05 13:33:00 · answer #6 · answered by Hmg♥Brd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You believe that he has had an affair. And nothing he says or does is going to change that. Do something about it or drop the matter. Only you know what you need to do. Talk to a therapist. Is better to make a heartrending decision than for you both to live in hell. Good luck to you.
2007-03-05 13:21:21 · answer #7 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to snap out of it and get it together. Don't waste your life on this. You need to get a grip on life and start living because if you go crazy then your husband will keep on living. Do something positive with your life and stop this before you lose him. If something like this is going on you will know, if you don't have proof then you need to stop. I think you should see your therapist for support.
2007-03-05 13:36:44 · answer #8 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel this way? Is he staying out late, not coming home, getting unusual phone calls? What makes you think he is cheating?? Maybe you should see a therapist and they can help you figure out why you are feeling this way.
Best Wishes
2007-03-05 13:19:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I saw my husband do this ,,,, Wake up call.... I know now each time the feeling would come when I felt it before a few times .... Now I know he did it then too., I just didn't have a PI on it those other times!!!! His life ... as he knew it is over anyway...
2007-03-05 13:29:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋