dont read if easily offended?

Question

what can i use for an imprvised dildo?

Answer 1

Depends on the contextand where you hope to stick it. As far as fruits and veg go, Carrots are a standard, but anything long and thin could work. Some people report success with cucumbers, and I've even heard of frozen bananas (But this would, obviously, be pretty darn cold for sex.)

Here are some other things people have used:
A bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup, an ax handle, a plastic spatula, a 9-1/2-inch water bottle, a deodorant bottle, a Coke bottle, an antenna rod, a 150-watt light bulb, a 100-watt frosted bulb, a cucumber, a screwdriver, four rubber balls, 72-1/2 jeweler's saws (all from one patient, but not all at the same time, although 29 were discovered on one occasion), a paperweight, a plastic toothbrush package, two bananas, a frozen pig's tail (it got stuck when it thawed), a ten-inch length of broomstick, an 18-inch umbrella handle and central rod, a plantain encased in a condom, a whiskey bottle with a cord attached, a six-by-five-inch tool box weighing 22 ounces, a six-inch stone weighing two pounds (in the latter two cases the patients died due to intestinal obstruction), a baby powder can, a test tube, a ball-point pen, a peanut butter jar, candles, a sand-filled bicycle inner tube, sewing needles, a flashlight, a turnip, a pair of eyeglasses, a hard-boiled egg, a carborundum grindstone (with handle), a suitcase key, a syringe, a file, tumblers and glasses, a polyethylene waste trap from the U-bend of a sink, and much, much more.

In 1955 one man who was "feeling depressed" reportedly inserted a six-inch paper tube into his rectum, dropped in a lighted firecracker, and blew a hole in his anterior rectal wall. This changed his mood real quick.

"Insertion of foreign bodies into the rectum," as it is formally known, is by no means confined to gays. Practitioners do have one thing in common: they're incredibly stupid.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Lipgloss or mascara containers, no kidding. It'd be a good idea to use a condom, if only so you have some way of getting it out should it go very far in, and also for hygiene reasons. And lubricate, lubricate, lubricate!

Answer 4

Xavier, you totally made me laugh!! Rock on! :)

cucumber
zuccini
other phallic-shaped produce
candles
certain pill bottles
certain handles on things (you know, Target has some really naughty looking plungers...)
certain shampoo, lube, or lotion bottles
detatchable shower heads...

Answer 5

Something with a handle so you don't lose control of the item.

Answer 6

A watermelon

Answer 7

A hand grenade [ don't forget to pull the pin first ].

Answer 8

if you really want it ,only the real thing will do, there are plenty of guys who will slide it into you, nothing feels the same

Answer 9

a cucumber or a carrot--cuke is the best, cause a carrot can hurt (*ouch*)!

Answer 10

egg beaters