Should i come out of the closet?

Question

Hey, im a 15yr. old boy and i *think* i might be gay. Im really scared about it and i dont know what i should do. Should i come out about it? I'm all ready really scared so if you're homophoebic or just a hater please dont even bother replying, but if there is some nice people out there who are willing to help me i would greatly appreciate it. Thanks in advance. Love, Me

Answer 1

I feel that you are probably a bit young to "come out". But, before you take this as a dismissal because of your age or not respecting your feelings, consider this. It is very natural for a young person to start to question who they are and to struggle with identity and their growing sexuality. Don't be deceived, more young men have been in your position than you may think.

I say that you may be too young for a number of reasons. The first is that you can't have had much experience in dealing with your feelings. Don't be too quick to react. You may truly be a gay man and you are entitled to your own lifestyle and feelings. If so, then what you are feeling won't go away and you will have had ample time to consider what is best for you. This is important to having long-term happiness.

The second is that you are in an environment (school, neighborhood, etc.) that is notoriously hostile to homosexuals. I would never tell you to hide who you are, but would encourage you to be absolutely certain before you make a proclamation. Remember, right or wrong, people will form their opinions of you by what they hear. You may make it very hard on yourself and experience a lot of bigotry in your daily life by coming out. Is going through that worth any peace you may get from making the statement? It's a very difficult position to be in.

The third is that you should seek the advice of others who have been in your position. This can come from any number of areas, but I feel it is important for you to know what it can be like. There are a lot of support groups that can help. Seek them out. Learn from the experiences of others.

I am a sociology professor and know from experience how you can be labeled and made miserable by society and the values it will thrust on you. I've seen the case files and the studies. It's a difficult road to travel. Be sure before you take that road. If you feel that you are truly a gay male, then question if coming out is really necessary. People should accept you for who you are, but "should" and "do" are not always the case.

The professional gay men that I have met simply do not make it a point to announce their sexuality. Just as I would not speak of whatever sexual feelings I may have for my wife or any other woman. It is just not common conversation.

Again, I ask you if it is the best thing for you at this time? If so, then be sure you know what you are in for. You can't take it back and our culture is not kind to anyone that does not meet the norms.

Answer 2

If you're 15, you should have a pretty good idea. I think it would be best to talk to a counselor in your school. They can help you with this. there are all kinds of support groups out there. Find one in your area. You would be well advised to talk to someone before you "come out of the closet" If you are gay, that's okay. If you're not, that's okay too. The important thing is for you to be you. Talk to someone. That will help.

Answer 3

At this point, wait until you know for sure and accept yourself. Then come out. Right now is not a good time unless you have someone close to you that you could confide in them that you're questioning your sexuality.

Answer 4

I would say you got some pretty good advice here. read my bio and try to relate what happened to me as might happen to you should you "come out" to anyone! ppl can be very cruel. compliance has little toleration for anything deviating from its accepted norm. and I asked myself, many times, what IS normal?

you're young. things are going on within you, but with-out you. give yourself time.

Answer 5

Below are quotes from Larry Kramer, Coletta Scott King (wife to Martin Luther King Jr.) and ArchBishop Desmond Tutu - major gay activists and supporters of LGBT people. When ever you have fear or doubt please remember you are loved and you are good and never be ashamed of who you are.


Larry Kramer:

"It’s so wonderful being a gay person. I said that before. I’m going to say it again. I love being gay. And I love gay people. I think we’re better than other people. I really do. I think we’re smarter and more talented and more aware and I do, I do, I totally do. And I think we’re more tuned in to what’s happening, tuned into the moment, tuned into our emotions, and other people’s emotions, and we’re better friends. I really do think all of these things. And I try not to forget them."



Coletta Scott King (wife to Martin Luther King Jr.):

"Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood. This sets the stage for further repression and violence that spread all too easily to victimize the next minority group."

"I still hear people say that I should not be talking about the rights of lesbian and gay people.... But I hasten to remind them that Martin Luther King Jr. said, 'Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.' I appeal to everyone who believes in Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream, to make room at the table of brotherhood and sisterhood for lesbian and gay people."

Mrs. King said that her late husband Martin Luther King Jr. supported the quest for equality by gays and said that the 1963 March on Washington was organized by Bayard Rustin, an openly gay civil rights activist.



ArchBishop Desmond Tutu:

"Jesus did not say, 'If I be lifted up I will draw some'." Jesus said, 'If I be lifted up I will draw all, all, all, all, all. Black, white, yellow, rich, poor, clever, not so clever, beautiful, not so beautiful. It's one of the most radical things. All, all, all, all, all, all, all, all. All belong. Gay, lesbian, so-called straight. All, all are meant to be held in this incredible embrace that will not let us go. All."

"Isn't it sad, that in a time when we face so many devastating problems – poverty, HIV/AIDS, war and conflict – that in our Communion we should be investing so much time and energy on disagreement about sexual orientation?" [The Communion, which] "used to be known for embodying the attribute of comprehensiveness, of inclusiveness, where we were meant to accommodate all and diverse views, saying we may differ in our theology but we belong together as sisters and brothers" now seems "hell-bent on excommunicating one another. God must look on and God must weep."

Since then Dr. Tutu has increased his criticism of conservative attitudes to homosexuality within his own church, equating homophobia with racism. Stating at a conference in Nairobi that he is "deeply disturbed that in the face of some of the most horrendous problems facing Africa, we concentrate on 'what do I do in bed with whom"

Answer 6

think it over try a girl first and if you dont like her try another, dont say you are gay

Answer 7

no, you should stay in the closet and go out the other side