I am just about to start living in a flat with two other girls who are have been good friends for 10+years, but they do tend to moan about one another behind each others back, often to me. What words of advice are there to dealing with them both? I want to be friends with them both and treat them fairly, and not to feel like I am caught in the middle.
2007-03-05 04:41:56 · 15 answers · asked by peaches8216 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
girls always moan about each other even if they're best friends
the important thing is not to get caught up in it and start making bitchy comments yourself, because as soon as you say anything against one of them you can guarantee the other one will find out.
If you have to, just let them make the comments and don't express an opinion at all - they'll get annoyed if you tell them off for bitching and they'll get annoyed if you join in, so just don't make any comment at all. If possible, just avoid listening to it and tell them you don't really feel comfortable talking about it.
Then go to one of your mates outside the flat and have a good moan about the pair of them!
2007-03-05 04:47:44 · answer #1 · answered by G*I*M*P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When one of them starts to tell you how she feels about the other one, tell that one to not to tell you because you do not want to hear it or you will make it that you can tell the other girl everything she said-and vice versa. I mean, do you really want to be trap with these two women who talk behind each others back? Would it be better for you to get your own flat so that you won't have to deal with this nonsense? Because, if you stay in this relationship and live with these two, you will always be caught in the middle.
2007-03-05 12:49:52 · answer #2 · answered by uchaboo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, I know what you meam. That is a tough situation to be in. Have you ever heard the expression "two is company and three is a crowd? (or something like that...you know what I mean). Anyways, it almost seems obvious that you are going to be in the middle all the time cos they are (don't be offended) better friends with each other than either one is with you, so your role in the relationship is to listen to their nagging. BUT don't get too involved, don't be too willing to listen or worse, don't start telling the other what the first one said, thinking that will get you in with the company! It WON'T...once one feels threathened that you might take her spot with the other, she will find a way to persuade the other that you are bad or something and you will get yourself kicked out!!!
So, my advice: Sit them down as soon as possible and be like "listen, I want to be your friend, we can have fun together, but I know you two are good friends and I would never want to break that bond. Furthermore, I'm here for both of you if you are having a tough time or whatever. BUT I will not listen to either one talking s**t about each other to me. If you don't like something the other did, I will not be the go-to person. Sort it out yourself. I will not be in the middle of your fights, and please don't ask me to do that. If you need advice I'm here but for gossip, find someone else."
They won't like it but you have to put your foot down cos otherwise it will come back to bite you sooner or later!
2007-03-05 13:02:36 · answer #3 · answered by Kat ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest with them and tell them how you feel. That you want to be friends with both girls and not feel like your caught in the middle. I've had this experiance plenty of times and its not an easy one. But if your truthful and upfront they will respect you for that. That shows them that your loyal and trustworthy which is the basics to friendship. If they can't understand that you do not wish to hear this and that about the other than they really aren't that good of friends. Of course I do not know them, but they need to understand that they're putting you in an awkward situation. If you go along with this, listiening to what this girl says and than what the otehr girl says, what are you going to do if one girl tells the other that you said this or that? It'll really turn ugly and I'm sure you don't want that. The best thing to do is be honest with them and tell them you care for both of them and are friends with both of them and you do not appreciate having to listien to eachothers complaints of one antoher. If they have a prob with each other than its THEIR problem and not yours. Its not right for them to make it yours. They are big girls and can work things out for themselves. Don't get invovled. ;) Hope all works out!
2007-03-05 12:56:25 · answer #4 · answered by tekno_rockstar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure you don't get involved in their bitching about each other if they continue to moan at you say things like : I know you sound fed up about it but she's alright really or you will feel better about it tomorrow. Everybody moans about someone or somebody everyday it is human nature unfortunately but don't let them drag you in on it good luck and women eh we will never get it right lol
2007-03-06 02:31:27 · answer #5 · answered by clare w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i have a best friend who i have known for 20 years basically my whole life, anyway in my experiences of the past 20 years . You need to tell them that if they have a complaint they need to talk to each other about it, not to you. They are putting you in the middle and they shouldn't. They have known each other for 10 years they should know how to talk to each other without your help. sometimes old friends do forget how to talk to each other but they should be able to remember something of how to speak to one another.
2007-03-05 14:01:25 · answer #6 · answered by katiekaboom25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be up front and tell them you like both of them equal and you will not allow them to put you in the middle. Then stick to what you say. Good luck
2007-03-05 12:46:04 · answer #7 · answered by lynda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you let each of them know that you don't want to talk about the other one behind their back like this, so that they know not to come to you about it, that way if they do talk about each other, it won't be to you, so it won't be your problem. That's the best solution I can think of.
2007-03-05 18:12:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to the both of them..tell them how you feel...tell them that you can't choose between them two...and if they want you to still be their friend...they need to work their problems out....by the way...i think you are a good friend...!!
2007-03-05 12:46:56 · answer #9 · answered by sHy_gUrL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell them it makes u feel awkward to talk behind peoples backs and cld they talk to you about people that u dnt know ? If you let it go on too long it will come on top and u will b the loser , *
2007-03-05 20:27:33 · answer #10 · answered by Claire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋