Last night my husband and I were on our way to my parents house because my brother has come home for a few days and I wanted to visit with him and my family. My husband stopped at a gas station to get him a a pack of cigerettes, I don't know what I was looking for I really wasn't looking for anything, but I found drugs in his truck, I asked him about it, and he came clean. Told me he'd only done it that one time since we got married, he's done drugs in the past and stopped for me, cause I don't get involed with any of that.
My husband for the most part is a good man, we have our ups and downs, and we deal with each of them. But this I don't know what to do any more, I don't trust anything he says right now and have even moved my wedding rings to my right hand, until he MAY or MAYNOT gain my trust back. Im so heart broken right now, any adivice......would be great.
Sobbing in the South
2007-03-05 04:34:33 · 12 answers · asked by msoutherngirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He "says" that he was clean for 7 or 8 months. To this I do not know for sure...he's beating him self up over cause he knows right now at this exact point anything and he will lose me forever...I love this man more than anything, I wont think twice about walking away.. This is so hard for me right now and I can't tell one of my best friends cause he's my father, and my father will lose all respect for him. I just don't know what to do right now
2007-03-05 04:49:56 · update #1
First, put your rings back on the left hand. You know in your heart that that's where they belong. Try to help him through this. Get him to go to rehab. Check around for more drugs and watch him carefully to see signs of more drug use. If he doesn't straighten up, then leave. But first try to make it work. Help him and support him and love him and show him that you want to be with him, but you will only stay with him if he straightens up and that you will NOT tolerate any more drug use or lies, whether they are direct lies or lies by omission (leaving things out on purpose). Good luck honey, I really hope you can work this out. I know you love your husband, or else you would have just left instead of agonizing over it like you are. Give him a chance. At least he came clean when he did. That's a good start.
2007-03-05 04:47:54 · answer #1 · answered by Eowyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be upset but I woulnd't jump to divorce yet. I do not believe your husband has only done drugs once since you were married. I do not believe this because you found them in his truck and unless you just got married last weekend he wouldn't have any drugs. I would insist that he go to drug counseling. Drugs are a disease and while he was not honest with you he is also not his normal self while doing them. His only choice is to go get help and get off them for good. If he refuses or says he does not have a problem then you need to think about what you need to do for yourself because you can't stay around that kind of stuff.
Good luck!
2007-03-05 04:43:23 · answer #2 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well divorce isn't an immediate answer. This is just one of those "down" moments that u need to work through again. Now if it becomes a chronic problem where its affecting all other aspects of your life then divorce may be an option but only AFTER some type of drug treatment program. But to immediately contemplate divorce with his ADMISSION to trying them is a lil too extreme! Sounds like there may be some other underlying issues that u didn't bring forth. But on the fact that u have presented, contemplation of divorce is premature!!!
2007-03-05 04:40:57 · answer #3 · answered by Papi G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a way, you have "asked for it." Let me explain: you knew he has done drugs in the past and you still married him. It is likely that he will do so in the future. If you like the current situation where you may or may not find him with drugs,. then of course continue giving him more chances. if you are not satisfied with a life of knowing at anytime he may be doing drugs again, then you should leave him and start over.
2007-03-05 04:39:52 · answer #4 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can't answer for you, only you can do that.. If it was me..I would have a very serious long talk with your husband, maybe suggest to him to go somewhere to help him give up drugs, or you could demand a drug test to see if his body is clean of drugs..just don't tell him you are planning on that.. make it an impulsive action on your part. If you truly love him, you will help him get thru this. good luck
2007-03-05 04:42:01 · answer #5 · answered by lynda 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh no! I cant believe you moved your wedding rings to your right hand! How horrible! I bet that just kills him! ha. Anyways, yeah if he had only done it once since you got married, you should give him another chance. He most likely regrets what he did now(especially since you moved your rings over to the other hand). Marriage is forever, try and work it out.
2007-03-05 04:48:20 · answer #6 · answered by Kari R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have got to watch out for your own self in this situation. Your spouse has a drug addiction. Lying goes along with addiction. You have to be firm and tell him that you will stand by him if he seeks treatment and aftercare, otherwise, you are gone. Its whats best for both of you. But he cant shake the drugs without a formal drug treatment program and aftercare.
2007-03-05 07:11:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural that you don't trust him right now and you are disappointed - just keep in mind... when you confronted him he came clean, he told you the truth. Only time will tell if it really was a 1 time thing or not.
2007-03-05 05:43:25 · answer #8 · answered by Zabes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't agree to give up drugs and you stay with him you are only going to be enabling him to do this. The fact that he came clean with you is a good sign. I know you're hurt that he lied to you as you should be. We all make mistakes so if you have it in your heart to forgive him, please do so. Forgiving, however doesnt' mean that you should allow him to destroy your or his life. Be firm on the no drugs policy in your marriage.
2007-03-05 04:40:16 · answer #9 · answered by ray_hilton717 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce him, he will not give up the drugs. If he used them once in your marriage and you find the drugs at a later date, he is using them. Stop and think about this, if you had been pulled over for a minor traffic stop, and the police found the drugs, you both would go to jail. It would take proof that you did not know they were their.
2007-03-05 04:45:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋