Most of the people in my husbands family get others to handle their personal affairs for them, namely me. Any suggestions how to get them to take care of themselves. Thank you.
2007-03-05 04:19:19 · 12 answers · asked by Amy V 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Refuse to help. Let them know that you have been pulled too many directions and are now only focusing on yourself and your husband. Mind you, you can't make someone self reliant - you can only let them know that you won't be bailing them out.
2007-03-05 04:21:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't "make" anyone do anything. You can only have control over your own actions. I do not envy your position. If you are handling the personal affairs or others; I fear what they say, do, or feel when you "handle things incorrectly" in their eyes. My suggestion is to tell them the next time that you prefer they take care of themselves and that you could be a source of advice and that is all. Be sure to tell them that after you give the advice that ultimately they have to make their own choices and handle their own business and live with the outcomes.
2007-03-05 12:33:44 · answer #2 · answered by redflite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make them more self reliant with out making them less reliant on you. Start right away by firmly telling them no to everything that you can in good conscience say no to. Which is saying, if they are ignorant and could get hurt, 'help' them. Otherwise direct them gently to 'do' for themselves. With patients on your part and time you should be able to wean them. Good luck, luv.
2007-03-05 12:26:19 · answer #3 · answered by NakasEvilTwin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hoo boy, tough situation. Many people would tell you to just tell them to get bent, jump into a live volcano, etc. Problem is, you have to live with these folks.
Perhaps just telling them you are overwhelmed and explaining how to do these things themselves would work to some extent. If these people have an overblown sense entitlement, they may resent it at first. Maybe you could go through your husband, he should be running interference for you anyway.
I wish you the best.
2007-03-05 12:24:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately nobody can make other people more self-reliant. They must want it and they must work on it. But to stop supporting their laziness is a good beginning. If you are the patient type, you can explain it and make it with them for the first time, but after this - be cruel and unbending.
2007-03-05 12:28:49 · answer #5 · answered by zuska m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Try talking to them (and your husband) and tell them that they need to be adults and handle their own personal business.
2. Tell them you aren't available, don't have the time, or don't know how to do whatever they are asking, or better yet tell them that it isn't your responsibility to be their personal assistant.
3. Screw up, so that they'll stop asking you, (although it's a childish thing to do).
2007-03-05 12:28:03 · answer #6 · answered by morebidd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its gonna be hard once you have helped them to explain that you are feeling used and abused
you will need to decide on a case by case basis now just to transition them into self sufficiency
when they see that you are less available they will go to others to help themFeelings will be hurt though
Good luck
2007-03-05 12:24:29 · answer #7 · answered by caretaker 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take away their source of distraction or laziness..
And disappear for a while, make them depend on someone else other than you.
2007-03-05 12:22:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump em on the highway with no clothes
2007-03-05 12:22:42 · answer #9 · answered by richard_lee_boyd 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Embezzle money from them.
2007-03-05 12:26:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋