I currently have a wife.We are having many problems.Our love is'nt there anymore like how it use to be.She loves me less.I really wanted to put things back together and grow from our problems with a fresh start.Right now we are seperated, not divorsed.Everytime i talk to her about love or me changing.She says that im puishing her away even more.It makes her mad.Now since i am pretty much alone here i am loving her less and less.There is still like 1% of us getting back together from whatr she and i said.Now I am talking and starting to see another woman.She is great and was an old friend.She has and does things that my wife didnt do or feel.I like her more then what i expected.She likes me alot too. she had a big crush on me before.So now i am mixed up and don't know if i should hop into this relationship.Should i still stick around with my wife and see what to work out.My wife is my first love! Am i attracted to the woman because of sex or companionship?I enjoy both.Is she a rebound?
2007-03-05 04:17:51 · 28 answers · asked by srodrico 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My wife and I have two beautiful kids together. One is 31/2 yrs. and The other is 8 mon. old
2007-03-05 04:19:10 · update #1
My wife denied marriage counceling.
She is pushing me away ever time i try anything.
She tells me that shed rather be single, that she does'nt need me.
I love my kids and will be there for them always and now. I cant be together with her for them.
2007-03-05 09:53:31 · update #2
She says that their is nothing for me to do or say to help change her mind. Right now she just would rather divorse...
I dont want to sit here waiting for her to make her mind up. Especially when she is just pushing me away and not giving me any hope for the future as family again.
I think we are going to "divorse."
2007-03-05 10:00:25 · update #3
You need to get rid of this "old friend." Until you've settled this mess with your wife, it's very unfair of you to bring another woman into the mix. It's not fair to your wife, your kids, yourself or the other woman. Don't see her, don't talk to her, don't even allow yourself to think about her.
I just went through this with a buddy. He spent months calling me in the middle of the night, sobbing because his wife had put him out. Then he met some cute little girl and within a week he had done a 180 degree turn around and filed for divorce. Now his wife is a wreck, he's a wreck and he's lost his credibility with everyone he knows over having started with the second one while he was still married.
2007-03-05 04:33:03 · answer #1 · answered by penhead72 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i were you i would wait until or f the the divorce is finalized before getting into a relationship the woman you are with now is only a rebound woman and you aren't emotionally stable enough to get into another relationship at this point. You miss the love and companionship of your wife and right now this woman is temporally filling that void give your wife some time and space to think and if she's taking to much time you must giver her a deadline to tell you weather she wants to try to work it out or move on no more than six months because you can't be kept in limbo for to long. I f you love your wife and you have children try marriage or spiritual counseling your children are worth the extra time and effort.
2007-03-05 04:26:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really have to ask? Yes - she's rebound and what you are doing is wrong. You are married. That's a commitment.
If your wife really wanted a divorce don't you think she would have filed for one by now and had you served?
You don't have to go to counseling with your wife, perhaps you should go alone and work on your issues.
Of course this new woman is doing what your wife isn't - all of us are on our best behavior the first 6-12 months of a relationship. If the one you are in isn't working out what makes you think this one will? Different actors but the same play. Change comes from within - take some action (therapy) and quit flapping your lips at your wife.
2007-03-13 04:47:43 · answer #3 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are so confused about how to move forward in love...sit back and do nothing. NOTHING in the regards to a serious relationship.
Make a list of your goals and how to achieve them.
Sure, you need to keep in touch with the maybe ex-wife and your kids. Just focus on the kids and give the wife the space she has requested.
Take time to heal yourself and to improve yourself at this time.
Exercise, read that book you didn't have time for before, take a class, keep busy in a productive way.
There is nothing wrong with not being in a relationship and just having platonic friendships.
2007-03-11 16:06:51 · answer #4 · answered by Sugar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEWS FLASH!!! she has already made up her mind. If she say, she ready for divorce, If I was you, I would get the kids DNA tested and move on with your life. Let her know that you are not trying to say that the kids are not yours, but before you move on you want to be sure that the ones you take care of is yours. Your new friend is a rebound, but who's to say that it can't work. If nothing else she took your mind off of being lonely for a wife that doesn't want you.You shouldn't be mixed up. She clearly said she don't want you. I would be willing to bet that there's someone else( that's why I said get the baby DNA tested). I'll also bet, if she finds out that you are seeing someone else, she will want to inquire about your business. Don't let her in and out of your life when she want to go. She could also be suffering from post par tum sydrome. Either way, she refused help and I would nolonger push her.
2007-03-10 11:29:07 · answer #5 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay...well i see you and your wife have kids together...how adaorable but, back to the issue at hand. Me personally I feel like you should stay and see whats really going on with you and your wife. Maybe you two can try seeking prfessional help. Not trying to be funny. The other girl I take it that she knows what you re going through and she is using that to her advantage. Of course you will feel for her (you are a man) and then before you know it she'll be just as bad. Then you will end up on Maury or some **** like that. LOL
2007-03-05 04:25:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't jump in to another relationship just yet for sex or whatever reason. Make sure your wife isnt depressed...you said you have a 8mnth old child...My kid was two before I even began to ask for help and came to find out I was in a major depression and needed meds. My husband jsut thought the same thing that I didnt love him or didnt care anymore and to a point I didnt but not like he thought...I didnt care about me therefore couldnt for him. I would lay it down for both woman and let them know the situation...u being with this other woman can bite you in the *** if you stay with your wife.
2007-03-05 04:25:40 · answer #7 · answered by E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I know that from what she is saying that she does not want to get back together. I will advise you to be careful with this other relationship. Although you kids are young and might not fully understand why Mommy and Daddy are not together and Daddy has another woman. You need sometime to breathe and to fully get over your wife. Do not get into a serious relationship with the other woman.
I do think that your marriage is over from what you have said. I once heard that when we say things we mean exactly what we said. That if we did not have those feelings in our heart that we would of never said them. Like when I told my soon to be ex husband that I did not want to be with him anymore because of his cheating, at first I did not mean it because I was scared. But now I am happy that I said it and realized that yes I did mean it. I hope this has helped. I really think you need to get rid of your wife but give yourself some room with your other lady. You really need to find yourself first. Plus jumping from one marriage to another is hurtful for you and her. If she loves you like she said then she will wait and understand.
2007-03-13 02:40:58 · answer #8 · answered by Lizzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, DO NOT start a relationship with this woman YET. By yet, I mean, until you are divorced. My sister-in-law got involved with a married man and I've watched her get her heart broken SEVEN times when each time he decided to go back to his wife. DO NOT, put her through this, PLEASE. It's just not fair to her when you're so confused about what to do.
As for what to do, no one can tell you that. It sounds like part of you really loves your wife and is not ready to give up on that yet. If it's what you want, then I say, keep working on it. A good book to read is "Five Love Languages." Read it and follow it and see if your wife comes back around. Just remember that you can't make up her mind for her. If she wants to make it work, she'll come back around.
2007-03-05 04:26:02 · answer #9 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your wife has her mind made up about a divorce then there's nothing you can do but visit your kid's often as the court will allow .you don't need a relationship with the other women unless you get a divorce sex wise anyway . the other women might be a rebound . i know you hate being apart from your kid's and watch them grow up if you get a divorce but you can't hold your wife in a marriage she don't want
2007-03-11 05:34:52 · answer #10 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋