I work as a cashier at a natural foods store. Some people like me and some don't. Of course, that's normal and that could be said about just about everyone. However, not too long ago a couple came through my line. The husband was polite towards me, but I know that I overheard his wife say something negative about me and about my character. This woman doesn't even KNOW me, so how can she make assumptions about my character?
2007-03-05 04:03:20 · 16 answers · asked by tangerine 7 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
i to have worked as a cashier in a grocery store, in the small town where i live, many people made assumptions about me, most of them just because of lack of knowledge, some of them were very nasty, and i just ignored there nastiness and treated them with curtsy, because i knew they would be out of the store soon, most of the people came back the next time knowing that there nastiness wasn't going to bother me. what has always bothered me is the people who think that they know me, and treat me as they think i am and are annoyed when i don't react the way they assumed i would. i just think that maby there is something wrong with some ones character who assumes in the first place.
2007-03-05 06:28:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The thing about human beings is that they have knowledge-creating brains, so they need to KNOW things. So they makes assumptions quickly, based on limited information. In the best case, they do so consciously and sparingly with an open mind, in the worst case, they do so instinctively and run with the mindset permanently as fact.
These assumptions are frequently based on two things...
1. Visual stereotypes...color skin, gender, the way you're dressed, your job...
2. People often assume that you think and feel the same way they do. If they think baseball is important, it may be hard for them to imagine that you do not.
These first impressions come quickly. It's unfortunate and often irritating, but it is what it is. These assumptions about character are nearly always incorrect. Assumptions about character should be made based on your behavior.
Isn't the world strange?
2007-03-05 12:12:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay this one is obvious, the woman was jealous, and felt insecure, and had to bring you down so that she could feel better. Chances are that she thought her husband was flirting with you.
As for general racism, it's easier to associate a visual difference with a perceived social difference, it's a human failing, but we are visual creatures in the end.
Oh and if a customer gives you a bad look, try helping them but sounding humble. This will help even out the levels so you're on equal footing.
2007-03-05 12:13:35 · answer #3 · answered by Luis 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everyone will judge everyone else because of the preset psychological coding that the media, parents, church, and government have set upon them. It has become a "natural" reaction because of these things. The best way to avoid all this is to let everyone else live their lives while you live your own. If she said something negative then that goes to show how ignorant and insecure she is of herself. You being the better person should smile at her, not to enrage even further but to feel at peace with yourself. Her thoughts are her own and never have they harmed you.
2007-03-05 12:13:11 · answer #4 · answered by Jestik 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She must have noticed a mistake or felt you were doing something out of the ordinary. There is a difference between action and charactor in this situation - she wouldn't know your charactor as she is and was a stranger to you.
2007-03-05 12:11:41 · answer #5 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People is like that. I wonder too but I guess it's just in their nature.
I am judged all the time, sometimes it's good because when they get to know you, you surprise them, others it's bad because.... I think nobody wants to be judge, specially wrongly.
2007-03-05 12:10:56 · answer #6 · answered by Indhy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Tangerine, that is your perception, maybe you did not have empathy with the lady, for many reasons (her looks, her tone of voice, etc) and you blame it on her. You have to learn to go with the flow, be nice with everybody and I'll assure you will be a happy person.
2007-03-05 12:11:32 · answer #7 · answered by oddy27 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People do dumb stuff like this all the time. They usually presume to know you, even though they don't really know what the hell they're talking about. She probably was jealous of you! Some women can be like that. It's silly, but true.
2007-03-05 12:07:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
unfortunetly a lot of people do that and we can't do anything about it thats just how ppl are trust and believe I've had it happen to me more than a little bit If the person doesn't actually bring it to you i wouldn't worry about it to much if they are just bold enough to bring it to you I would just say why don't you get to know me before you judge me
2007-03-05 12:15:37 · answer #9 · answered by getemgirl2105 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do it too. Everyone does it. Sometimes we're wrong about people, sometimes not, but it is hard not to do. You probably think more favorably about people who seem like they're like you than you would about someone who seems very different.
2007-03-05 12:12:22 · answer #10 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋