Hello, well i lost and need some advice, if you were with someone for 4 yr. and they left and done this to you lots of times, and now is willing to get help, would you give them another chance? or move on with life?
2007-03-05 04:02:11 · 16 answers · asked by kristy_n_tx 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well he left, becuase his sister got sick with cancer and didnt want to be here with me and our daughter. He also knew if he was up there he can do drugs, Now he is begging to come back and promise me everything that he has already said before. i can't believe him anymore! im not sure what to do I love him and we got a beautiful daughter together.
2007-03-05 04:14:02 · update #1
I would like to know how all of this is affecting your daughter?
You say he is in and out of your life repeatedly. You say he is taking drugs. You may consider taking him back knowing there is a possibility that he will leave again despite getting help. You will eventually be okay, if hurt. But what about your baby?
You may have to put your feelings aside, and move on for the sake of your child. You may someday find someone who loves you and your child and is willing to stick around for the rest of your lives because he loves you. Doesn't your daughter deserve that chance?
I know you will be letting the guy go, but this will open the doors for him to really seek and get the help he needs. Your baby is the one you should be thinking about.
She has you in her life every day, but he comes and goes, and she can't depend on him to be around. Does she miss him?
If you can't make a decison for your own peace of mind, make a decision so you both can get on with your lives. She deserves it, and so do you.
If he changes at some point in the future, you can work on that when the time comes. If it does, look for MAJOR differences: no drugs, reliable, always around (24/7/365), and you are living virtually worry-free. If he returns with the same old story (I can change, give me a chance), then you will know he didn't change, and his chances have run out. For good.
I don't know if this is the answer you were hoping to get, but it is a point of view you should consider: is his behavior in the best interest of your child?
God bless you, and I hope you make the right decision, and that everything turns out great for you and your baby.
Hope this helps.
2007-03-05 04:42:15 · answer #1 · answered by 1985 & going strong 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This decision will have to be yours alone. Just know, that by taking this person back again you are risking being left again. You need to weigh the pros and cons of what you decide. If you are willing to give that one last chance for him to prove his willingness to get help, do it with an open mind. In other words, do not put all your hopes into him changing. This way, if it does not work out then he can never say you did not try. Best of luck in whatever you decide.
2007-03-05 04:09:10 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think its up 2 you but I wouldnt give hima another chance because he did it once what makes you think he wont do I again. This happened to me I was with my ex hhusband and he left for 1 year he was on drugs and all kinds of bad stuff then he came back and I took him back after 4 years after we had our son I found out he was cheating on me and now he dont want anything to do with his son.
2007-03-05 05:17:19 · answer #3 · answered by chela 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not esay for someone else to answer bc they dont know how you feel in your heart. if you were sure they'd gt help and you loved them id say yes. if youve moved on and are happy in life untill they appear back on the scene whats the piont of ruining your new found happiness to slip back into misery. also depends on why they left you. if there was some one else involved absolutly don't go back your worth more than that. Hope it help even a bit .
2007-03-05 04:06:54 · answer #4 · answered by Pepsi cola 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my husband for almost 11 years now and have cheated/left him once in all those years...I think if she was sorry after the first time she wouldn't have left you so many times. I was sorry after that time and have been honest with him since...dont get me wrong there have been bad times since than but I haven't given in to temptations or given up on us. Ultimately its up to you but I wouldn't give someone more than one chance to make it right(my opinion). Just know people can change if they really want too!!!
2007-03-05 04:10:16 · answer #5 · answered by E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the web of life. Marriage means expectation.. to get the maximum from the partner. And that is why there is sorrow.. this is the eternal problem that will go on and on. Both the partners have to understand this. Allow more cushoning effect, so that the Ego gets satisfied. When you get hurted, place yourself in your partner's place, introspect and judge. Your conscience will direct you to get the right step.
2007-03-05 04:15:42 · answer #6 · answered by SWAMI V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would NOT get back with them, till they were in counselling for a year or so. If they promise to get help, but you take them back, then the chances of them STICKING with the help is very, VERY slim. If they REALLY want to be with you, they will get help and stick with it, and WAIT FOR YOU TO SAY when the time to get together is right. When a person cannot prove themselves, then it is up to US to MAKE them prove themselves. Don't be afraid you will lose them. You already HAVE lost them. Make them EARN you back. Aren't you worth that much?
2007-03-05 04:07:52 · answer #7 · answered by lcamel2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it really depends on what he left you for. Did he just leave because he did not want to be with you or did he leave for someone else? Need more info. It all depends on what he left for whether I would give him another chance.
2007-03-05 04:08:11 · answer #8 · answered by Jamie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say that he has done this a lot of times, well he keeps doing it because he knows that you will take him back. Don't be stupid, do not take him back, people really don't change and he never will, he is just telling you what you want to hear, he4 is manipulating you.
2007-03-05 04:08:00 · answer #9 · answered by sapphire 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nope. my aunt give up on his husband because of money problem. she stay for 18 years for her 3 kids. now she is happy with a new boyfriend and life and not having to pay for her stupid husband "needs"
2007-03-05 04:06:36 · answer #10 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋