If a woman tells her husband she wants a divorce, moves out then files for it, is it adultry if she has also moved on with that part of her life as well (AFTER the separation)? She was NOT seeing this guy while she was with her husband except at work as friends.
2007-03-05 03:56:02 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My soon to be ex is trying to tell me that I commited adultry, but I never dated this guy, went out with him in any way or EVER had sex with him while my husband and I were together. It wasn't until a couple months after we split that I started seeing this guy as something other than a friend.
2007-03-05 03:57:16 · update #1
This is for McyD, and anyone else who seems to be a firm believer in staying with the spouse no matter what...I left him because he is physically abusive, he couldn't consumate our marriage until a couple weeks before I left (by raping me, after he was looking at porn) and the biggest reason, I CAUGHT HIM LOOKING AT LITTLE GIRLS...under the age of 12...on the computer. No I am not wondering because of my moral satisfaction. I am wondering, because he THINKS he is going to get me on adultery, all the while he is asking SEVERAL other girls out and passing out his phone number to them.
2007-03-05 04:15:02 · update #2
Oh goodness hun, I am so sorry that you've been in such an awful situation with your husband.
I'll be the first to say, I don't believe in divorce, unless in very extreme cases, like the one you describe. Personally, as far as my own opinions/beliefs go, there are very few reasons why anyone should ever get a divorce. Sadly, you've listed two of them in regards to your own situation.
If you were in an abusive relationship, then there is absolutely nothing else you can do other than get away, as you did. I totally agree with that. I don't ever think that anyone should stay with someone who hurts them like that. So, good for you, for getting away from him!
Now, as for the stuff you have found on your computer. I really think you need to go to the authorites with all of that. Anyone who is sick enough to look at little children in that way, are the same people who go out and do something. And knowing how he "raped" you, that really makes me worry about what he might do to a little girl, if given the chance. So please, go to the cops with that, and make sure they know what you found. They can go get the computer, and no matter what he thinks he may have done to "cover his tracks" it will still be there, somewhere. I don't know how all that works, but I do know that they can recover things like that as evidence. He should not be allowed to get away with that.. So please, turn him in.
Another thing, if you two were legally seperated before you began the new relationship, then there is nothing at all he can say about it. But what gets me is, how can he even think about trying to use it against you, with him being the one who's into kiddie porn??? That's messed up..
You need to make sure that all of that comes out in the court during the divorce. Don't let it go.. You would be helping so many people by telling your story.. and hopefully keep him from hurting anyone else.
Take care!
2007-03-05 05:01:56 · answer #1 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is adultry until you are legally divorced. You could not wait until the divorce is finally. If he was doing all these things you should have filled along time ago. :You want someone to make it alright that you are committing adultry, because he was so rotten. Two wrongs do not make a right. Don't throw stones when you live in a glass house. My attorney told me the first day keep your nose clean unless you want it rubbed in it. Don't give him anything he can use against you.
2007-03-05 04:41:42 · answer #2 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first act that can be claimed is Alienation of Affections which is recognized in states that have not switched to "No Fault Divorce". The fact that you slept with the guy after your split proves this. One can cheat without having sex. Exchanging admiration and other emotional behavior is considered cheating.
The fact that you got more involved after separation and before the divorce could be construed as Adultery. Since Alienation of Affections could easily be proved, probably so could infidelity.
2007-03-05 04:02:33 · answer #3 · answered by The Sylvan Wizard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you worried about this for moral reasons or legal reasons? Legally, you're still married so sex with someone else is considered adultery. I don't know if it can hurt you in divorce court, but it certainly doesn't look good on you that you started dating someone so soon after the separation.
2007-03-05 04:02:04 · answer #4 · answered by scouseryank33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutely not if the divorce has been filed and you no longer reside at the same residents assuming you filled out a change of address form with the dmv or post office. Definitly not morally wrong legally i think his allegations wouldnt fly in court. And also getting some sort of proof of his veiwing child pornography and contacting any girl for the purpose of socializing would be very vital in smearing his adultery crap in the mudd. good luck to you hope all starts going your way and eventually you meet someone who treats you right like you deserve.
2007-03-05 11:37:44 · answer #5 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The law is simple and straightforward. If you sleep with someone whilst the marriage is still in existence you commit adultery!
But hey - put your hands up - let the divorce go through uncontested as an adulterer - it will be much cheaper for both sides! Extremely expensive if you contest it!
2007-03-05 04:01:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is adultry. Legally you are still married, no matter where you live. Until you go to court and the judge grants the divorce, you are a married woman. He can use this in court against you.
2007-03-05 03:59:51 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, since you are still married. (moral)
No, because obviously the marriage is over; legal separation was applied for and granted and the date for the divorce hearing is coming. (ethical)
It is my understanding that this relationship can NOT be used against you during your formal divorce proceedings, because it is not the courts job to legislate morality. Adultery is considered a moral issue, the courts deal with legal issues.
So is he approaching this from a legal (ethical) or a religious (moral) standpoint?
2007-03-05 04:10:40 · answer #8 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes! Untill the divorce is final it is Adultry! You are still a mrried woman and the only person you're supposed to be sleeping with is your husband or by yourself.
2007-03-05 04:10:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Technically it's adultery since you're still married (the divorce hasn't gone through yet), but morally, I'd say you haven't done anything wrong.
2007-03-05 03:59:35 · answer #10 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋