Was I wrong?

Question

I am the only one in my family that takes care of my 84 yr. old uncle. In jan. he when in to the hospital . Now he lives about 100 miles from me. (give or take.) He has a dog that we ended up bring home with us because his neighbors called the cops for it barking. When we did this my uncle told me to take his play money of expenses. It was $160. He was in the hospital for a month and a half. He is home now. He called me last week and yelled at me for taking his money and wants me to pay it back. I spent most of that money on his dog for food.( the dog eats very weird stuff, Chicken, Bacon, Sausage, Wet dog food(not the cheap kind ) .) And the rest of the money when in to my car for taking the dog back and forth to the hospital so he could see it. Now my question is should i pay him back? I might also and that the dog tore up my carpet. I rent so I have to fix it. And barked the whole time i had it.

Answer 1

I believe you were in the right. The money went towards your uncle's things, it wasn't used on you personally. If your uncle keeps insisting I would add up the amount of everything related to your uncle and his dog. Total it together, add taxes (if able to) and give him a rough estimation or the exact amount it cost for you to take care of everything.

You were trying to be good and kind and he, in return is being very demanding about this.

I would have made sure you had the taking of the money in writing but you don't and that's in the past. Put some truths in front of your uncle too. For example did he want the dog taken by the cops? That might make him think as well.

Answer 2

The man is 84 and most likely loosing his mind. If I was you I would give him the money and dog. I would also tell him next time he can call for a pet sitter. I would wash my hands of the whole situation. Now you know why your family wants nothing to do with him. This just goes to show you no good deed goes unpunished.

Answer 3

If I were you, I would undoubtedly pay it back immediately with no questions asked...and I would surely choose to be like you; since you sound like a very fine young lady....

First of all...You are dealing with an elderly here...and I am quite sure you were the only one dealing with him as you explained out of the tender heart of your own & the respect that you were taught & carried along while you were growing up...

Second of all...What is a 160 $ worth ??? Nothing much to weep on...

Third of all...Don't you think that putting a smile & comfort on an elderly's face & heart is worth paying a 160 $...??!!

Fourth of all...You were once a little child, and you can surely remember how you would have acted if / when someone takes something from you against your will...You would either cry or seek help to get it back, and you won't feel at ease until you get it back ....Likewise, you need to consider the fact that an elderly tends to become much like a little child as he turns to be that old...

Fifth of all...if you were told by doctors that your uncle is in disperate need for a minor treatment that will cost a 160 $, wouldn't you be more than willing to pay it without questions asked so as to see to it that your uncle gets better...???

Sixth of all...You may not recall when you were a baby whether or not your uncle ever bought you things that are worth much more than a 160 $....so, wouldn't you like to take it as a pay back for the old days of comfort & tenderness...

Seventh of all...When someone does something good straight from the heart without being pushed but by one's own ethics & morals (JUST AS U DO YOUR UNCLE NOW) wouldn't you question why that particular person is so reluctant paying such a trivial amount of money for the same person he is taking care of..????

Eighth of all...wouldn't you imagine that your uncle (being that old) suffers a short-term memory loss, which could explain why he is taking his word back, and wanting you to pay him back the 160 $...I know it was not the case, but just pretend it was...

Nineth of all...your uncle may not have much ahead of him to live for, and this is the way it goes...wouldn't you like it that he passes away while having a relief in his heart towards you ???

Tenth of all...Wouldn't you feel relieved yourself paying that 160 $ and having peace with yourself even though it was not your fault, and for the mere reason to make an old man happy???

IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD GIVE IT WITH A SMILE AND A KISS ON THE FOREHEAD OF THAT OLD MAN WHILE PRETENDING I HAVE LOST IT...

Be assured 100% honey...You were not wrong at all...

Answer 4

no, you weren't wrong. your uncle gave you instructions. you followed through with them. you spent the money on the dog and your uncle. like someone else said, the dog would have died otherwise. don't pay him back, just gently remind him. he really should be more happy that you helped him out when he couldn't because he was in the hospital!!

Answer 5

Your uncle did tell you to take the money. I'm thinking he probably doesn't remember telling you that. He IS 84 after all, and could have a "touch" at his age. Just keep reminding him that he DID in fact tell you to take it. And keep reminding him you used it to care for his dog.

Answer 6

You took on the responsibility of the dog, it's your fault. You should have never spent your uncle's money without his permission.

Answer 7

Since $160 is not that much money pay him back but don't help him out in the future. He didn't appreciate what you did before and don't put yourself out there to be unappreciated in the future.

Good luck!

Answer 8

HELL NO. If you want you should give him a bill for his dog tearing up your carpet. Did he forget telling you to use his money? Hope it work's out

Answer 9

No good deed goes unpunished. When you do something nice for someone it does have a habit at times to bit you in the rear.

Answer 10

u have the right to be mad but if i was you i wouldnt make him pay id politely tell him to take his dog and give him a ride to his own place and there explain that i feel violated but give him the money he could kill himself with pressure and tell everyone its you