If you were bullied at school would you have preferred it if..?

Question

your parents had sorted things out by talking to the school or would that have made matters worse?
If you now have a child - what would you do if they were being bullied?

Answer 1

That's a really hard one to answer. Because I was constantly bullied at school but it was low-level, snidey bitchy bullying where I was left out a lot, as opposed to scary bullying, I never told my parents as I just tried to go day to day and hope that I would have a 'good' day as opposed to a 'bad' day. Don't get me wrong, it was bad enough, but I was well aware at the time that it could have been far worse.

If it had been worse, I think I would probably have wanted my parents to sort it out. But at the level it mostly was, I just tried to get on with it myself (though I still bear the -lack of- confidence scars today at 28 years old).

Having said that, one girl who continuously for about 6 weeks threatened to beat me up scared me so much that I eventually told my older sister and her best friend, who were 6th formers at the time (where I was a 3rd year in secondary school). They sought her out and threatened to beat her up (they never would have) but needless to say, whatever they said to her (I didn't witness it - only wish I had!) worked, as she never said anything to me again, and life was much better! Result!!!

The problem when parents get involved is that sometimes it can become an issue that's then OUT THERE in the classroom, and pupils may well suffer because of that. However, if your child refuses to talk to the school because they are too scared, then I think the parent should (discreetly) intervene, so that the teachers are aware. If they don't know, they can't do anything to monitor or prevent it.

Answer 2

I definetely think I would like to talk to the school to bring it up to their attention. Today most schools (if not all) have a zero-tolerance for bullying and every child has the right to learn in an evironment without being harrased by others. Talk to the school and just mention what is happening to your child. (don't put too much blame on the others though, concentrate only about your concern about your own child!!!!). Also ask them to keep this confidential to protect your child if possible. (depends on what kind of bullying is going on)
Also, try to talk with your child on how to react. Most schools have the counselor go into the classrooms and give a talk about bullying etc..maybe your school has not done so yet, but you could suggest it.
Good luck!

Answer 3

If my parents had tried to sort things out by talking to the school, it would probably have made matters worse. The worse that would have probably have happened to the bully would be that they get a suspension or detention for a couple of days then would be back and probably be worse than ever.

Answer 4

i become bullied because I easily have honest epidermis. mind-blowing, i understand. all of us right it really is tanned and that is the variety that people bypass for and that i variety get the common remark about having paler epidermis. i imagine this is stressful that people with darker epidermis and tans are continually considered as captivating right here and that i'm contained in the uncommon type of light people... i become also bullied earlier because I easily were so skinny all my existence and have not been in a position to placed on weight and look healthful in the previous. i become continually epidermis and bone and that i went via a very awkward level. i'm no longer categorized as 'curvy' now yet I do have a nicer structure and that i'm no longer only a stick now. i'm a healthful weight :) yet yeh... i do not get bullied any extra. I easily have some fantastic friends who stood up for me and all of us is too preoccupied with themselves now to care. poll; properly that is 9:40 PM.. So i'd be going to mattress fantastically quickly or in some hours considering there is no longer something better to do and that i'm absoloutely exhausted. I went for a run on the water the front today and stated one in each of my friends and ate lunch mutually with her and then... wasted something else of the day doing no longer something. And the following day I easily have a e book to study for faculty and some homework which i'm dreading and then i bypass decrease back to varsity on Tuesday... Which i'm dreading besides! sounds like thrilling, eh?

Answer 5

When a child is being bullied at school they can often feel powerless, their self-esteem may be damaged and their ability to ask for support may be compromised. As a parent, I would try to contain my own feelings (panic, anger, nausea etc) and focus on my child's feelings. Really listen to what they are saying, give them plenty of time, space and focused attention so that they know that you are really on their side and that you believe them. Validate their feelings. Maybe help them to know that they are not alone with this problem, many many children suffer from bullying, as do many adults, so it is not that there is something wrong with them. Don't rush them into a decision about what to do because of your own anxieties - give them time to consider a variety of options. Listen to their ideas about what they could do about it, take them seriously and help them talk it through and explore lots of possibilities. Help your child to develop resources for dealing with this behaviour, which they will almost certainly meet again in various guizes throughout their life. Do this by recognising the good strategies or the strength that they have shown so far, by encouraging them to experiment with trying out a range of responses. Respect their wishes - if they want you to go to the school then go and fight their corner, but if they don't want you to then try to trust them to know what they need. Of course - going to the school against the child's wishes is an option, but make it the last option, when all else has failed and only if you are seriously worried. All of this depends on your child being able to have an open discussion with you about this - so start young by letting them know that you take their concerns seriously (even if they seem trivial to you), by empowering them to make decisions for themselves, by modelling respectful and assertive behaviour and encouraging this in them. Let them know that you care deeply about them but be careful not to overwhelm them with your own feelings and fears as they may end up shutting down in order to protect you.

Answer 6

I would take action - if the school does not respond in a correct way then move your child. I was bulied at school and it does leave a mark on your life. Of course it depends on how serious the bulying is and how long it has been going on. If you feel that your child may be deeply traumatised you should definitely take action.

Answer 7

ive always told my kids the same as what i was when i was younger if anybody hits you hit them back,if they are pathetic and tease you i would just tell them to get a life,i find bullies pick on people that they think will not hit out or speak back to them if you did i doubt the bullies would carry on and would go pick on somebody else.

Answer 8

nope it makes it ten times worse then anytime they fall out it would be ow go and tell your mummy and simular stuff to that especially if its in secondary school but however if its serios bullying then fair enough you can always tel the teacher and ask them not to tell the bully that he/she parents have told them but teh teacher could say they over heard or a dinner lady had told them

Answer 9

Wouldn't do anything, as you could tell your mum but she would only tell the teacher and then you would get even more bullied by your classmates by being called a grasser!