What do you do when among a group of 5 married couples, 2 having a major falling out?

Question

My wife and I are almost in a virtual cold war with another couple. The husband is obnoxious, arrogant, abrasive, and has made a point of being rude to me. I have known the wife since we were little kids. Now everytime our group goes out there is tension, which has made everyone uncomfortable.

Answer 1

There is no reason that both couples need to go out at the same time. I think for the good of the group, you need to start seeing the other couples separately.

Answer 2

Have you tried asking this guy, in private, what the problem is? Perhaps one of you misunderstood something the other did, and nobody wanted to bring it up, so this thing just lingers between you. Maybe something you said innocently upset him. Ask him what the problem is. It might be something simple that can be fixed easily. At least you'll know you tried. You can't fix what you don't know about.

If he won't tell you, or if he really is just a jerk, then you can invite the other couples out and explain that you have no problem going out with them sometimes, and also having them go out with the other couple without you sometimes, too. Let them know that you don't want to cause them discomfort by having the four of you together at each gathering, and that you want to find a way to work things out so that they, your real friends, will be comfortable and have a good time when you're with them.

Don't gossip. That would just put you in a bad light. Be polite and friendly, and don't say negative things about the other guy. If he's like you say he is, they will see it, too.

Either he will show his true colors to the others, too, or you and he will be able to work out this misunderstanding.

Good luck.

BTW, if he won't talk with you, you might ask his wife, your friend, if she knows what the problem is. If she's been your friend since childhood, she probably wants to fix this, too!

Maybe he's been a jerk at home and she said something like, "Why can't you be more like Bob?" when she was angry, and that made him jealous. It's possible. Just talk with each of them separately. If you were friends before, it's possible you both can fix it.



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Answer 3

Ask the other couples in your group if they have a problem in NOT inviting that couple out anymore...Explain to them why and they will probably agree...Maybe if the couple doesn't get invited then they will grow up or whatever...Try it and see if it works
or you can go to that one couple and tell them that you would appreciate it if they would stop being rude and obnoxious towards you or they won't be invited anymore...either one of these should do the trick or just piss them off where they don't want to be with your group anymore which probably wouldn't be a bad idea

Answer 4

If your childhood friend can tell you more about her husband's behavior ..perhaps you will know the real reason.

If he does not normally behave that way towards others, then there must be an underlying reason why he treat you the nasty way.
Is he jealous on your relationship with his wife ?
If so, 'break the ice' and get him to know you better.

Answer 5

If you can't extricate yourself (as a couple) out of these engagements, perhaps you and wifey can just hold firm in a "It's Us Against The World" grip, and face the music together.

Answer 6

You and your wife have already discussed the situationand now discusted wiht each other. Now its time for u and her to make up and get out of the others affair

Answer 7

You need to settle it with the other couple and you need to remember that not everyone has the same standards that you do. Also, you need to not expect everyone to live up to the same standards you do. Each person is different and you have to love them through it.

Answer 8

why go out at all, you have your wife he has his, so get him out of your life.