Have we had a hectic marriage so far?

Question

This June will be our 5th Anniversary. In these past 5 years we have remodeled 2 houses, moved 5 times, had 3 kids, my husband has changed jobs 5 times, 3 of our grandparents have died, and we have had more than 10 different vehicles between the two of us. Would you say that is enough stress to last the rest of our marriage? Are we completely crazy or is this normal? Is anyone else suprised that we made it through all of this still intact? What do you suggest we do for our next 5 years of marriage to alleviate stress?

Answer 1

The only concern should be, why did your husband need 5 jobs in just 5 years? This would show an unstable record of his employment. Your decision to had 3 children during all of this amazes me. You both need to slow down a bit and find some stability in your lives and that of your children. This has to start by your husband finding a more permanent and lasting employment. In the mean time, you two seem to be fickle in all decisions and matters on where you work, live, what car you drive etc etc. By being so indecisive would lead me to think you two are easily bored and also have a habit of making haste decisions without thinking them through, leading to regrets later. Try a little discipline in future decisions.

Answer 2

Remodeling 2 houses in 5 years I can understand. You and your husband obviously enjoy remodeling homes.. I'm a little concerned that you have moved 5 times in the last 5 years though, and that your husband has changed jobs 5 times. That doesn't sound like much stability for 3 kids. As for the grandparents, you can't really control when someone passes away. Ten different vehicles between the two of you in the last 5 years? Sounds to me like you guys are either really bad drivers and you keep wrecking your cars, or you both are really hung up on material possessions. You don't need to ask us if you have had a hectic marriage, you already know the answer to that. If you think you have had a hectic marriage so far, then you probably have.The two of you may have as you say: "made it through all of this still intact", but at what price to your kids? What effect do you think all of this has had on them? My husband and I will have been married 3 years next month. He had 2 back surgeries in the first 2 years we were married, and was on disability (to recuperate from the surgeries) for 1 1/2 years of the 3 years we have been married. Two months before he was released to go back to work after his second surgery, I was laid off from my job when the company I was working for went out of business. When the doctors released him to go back to work, he was back at work for 6 months, and then was laid off right before Thanksgiving last year. He has since found another job, and we have also started a medical transcription business. Try that for stress! As far as what you can do for the next 5 years to alleviate stress - if you are capable of remodeling 2 houses in 5 years, then you are smart enough to figure out the answer to that question. Personally, I think you and your husband thrive on all the drama in your lives (yes, there are people out there that are like that!) or you would have done something about it by now.

Answer 3

Well, if you have made it through all of that without wanting a separation/divorce, then you both must be able to adapt and to accept the challenges life brings to you. Keep doing what you are doing. Your relationship is probably stronger now then ever. When you weather beyond the average stress together, and come out the other side still together, you're doing what you should as a married couple. Open communication, honesty, and humor can do a lot to get you through. God bless...

Answer 4

You kind of sound like us. In 3 years we've done almost all you have, but not quite. This past year we haven't had as much to do and I'm realizing that our relationship was much stronger when we had something to work towards or some short term goal. You guys aren't crazy, but just make sure you can keep yourselves interested in one another and the relationship. I think my husband and I started focussing on everything else and somewhere along the way we lost "us". Now that we don't have anything to work on our marriage is really struggling. I hope this doesn't happen to you, but just so you know, you're not completely crazy!

Answer 5

Damn! You two have had enough stress for ten lifetimes!!!

Here's an idea - you can't control when your remaining 5 grandparents pass away, but the rest of it is within your control.

Don't buy any more cars. Don't move again. Don't remodel any more houses. Don't have any more kids. Don't change jobs again.

You've had enough turmoil! It's time for stability and peace!!!

Answer 6

If it's working and your enjoying it, do it for another 5 years. However; it might not be a bad idea to stop and smell the roses and live in one of those houses long enough to call it home, drive some of those cars around, and bounce some of those munchkins off your knee and quit adding to the population.

In other words......stop and do some stable living and SLOW DOWN! It's better to be fruitful than busy! Enjoy what you have, and drop an achor somewhere.

Answer 7

Well, it's definitely been unstable, but that's not enough stress to last you the rest of your marriage. Unless you make some serious lifestyle changes (JOB STABILITY, stop moving around so much, etc), it can only get worse.

BTW - why HAS your husband had so many jobs / why HAVE you moved so much?

Best of luck to you!

Answer 8

You have brought all of this on yourself. Sounds like your husband is a job hopper and maybe you like cars.
Quit buying cars, quit changing jobs, quit remodeling houses and get on birth control. End of hectic!

Answer 9

Your husband needs to be man and find a stable job and perhaps things would be less hectic in your lives. You need to stay in one place so that your childrens lives are not disrupted. Sure life takes twists and turns and you deal with it but you also have to be responsible and make things as stable as possible for your childrens sake.

Good luck!

Answer 10

my advice, stop remodeling houses, stop moving, stop having kids, tell your husband to stop changing jobs, keep your family healthy and sell some of your vehicles. you will surely be less stressed after all that. good luck!