This guy's mother was married 7 times. He was born to the 2nd husband. Then his mother married 5 more times more times after that. I think she still ended up alone. So, he had 5 step-fathers. Does this affect a person. This guy seems to be really nice and he says he really likes me but he seems detatched to an extent. I don't know if it is the 7 years age difference between us or a fear of comittment.
2007-03-05 03:25:41 · 12 answers · asked by formy p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Of course he can have a healthy, long lasting relationship! Why? Because he's watched his mother and the door of revolving men and knows what not to do!
2007-03-05 03:29:11 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I guess but something is wrong with his mother to be marry that many times maybe the man. If they are positive role model it shouldn't be a problem. He has seen a lot and should know what to do when he get involve in a relationship. I recommened the guy to see counseling. It to much broken up relationships patterns. He may end up doing the same.
there help out there. What happens if one step father don't like the other step father. I would seek help from a pastor, family member that been married unless 10 yrs, etc.
2007-03-05 03:31:27 · answer #2 · answered by tasha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it does affect a person - but HOW it affects them is up to each individual who experienced this sort of thing. I had SIX step-fathers (and my mom also had a few live-in boyfriends while I was growing up): do you know what? It actually ENCOURAGED me to develop a stable loving relationship with a lifetime committment! I hated the instability of my childhood; I wanted the fairy tale. Happily ever after DOES exist, it just takes effort. It IS hard to let somebody into your heart if you were raised with so much heartbreak and pain, but it CAN happen. Just show him love and give him time. His detachment is understandable, but it can be overcome. He just needs to know that YOU won't leave - and you can't tell him. He'll have to SEE it. (Which means he may unintentionally put you through emotional Hell & back because of his trust issues; so be sure you love him enough to take that ride. It will be a doozy - but I thank God that my husband didn't give up on me. He rode it out with much love and frustration, but we made it and we're still going strong!)
2007-03-05 03:35:20 · answer #3 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
His mother has really devalued the importance of men and made a mockery of marriage and taught him that the roll of husband has no value what-so-ever.
If you want this to work, you have to RESPECT the roll of an man ind a husband in a marriage and you have to demand that he raise to the occasion.
I would set him down and tell him, that you love him and that you are looking for a husband, a HUSBAND. Tell him that you are offended by his mothers behavior, and vow that you will take marriage seriously. TELL him what you expect from a husband, don't just infer, that gets into women wanting men to read their minds, that is a disaster waiting to happen.
2007-03-05 03:38:56 · answer #4 · answered by David P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look at what he grew up around - his mom had revolving door husbands! That's his idea of a relationship and I'm sure he has strong fears of getting too attached since he fears anyone he really loves will end up leaving him!
2007-03-05 03:40:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he can, but if this is affecting him then he needs to talk to a therapist about it. Just because his mom did these things, doesn't mean he has to follow in the footsteps. People say "monkey see monkey do" That isn't always true. Believe me I know. Give him a chance, but try to help him also.
2007-03-05 03:42:47 · answer #6 · answered by Manda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is probably in fear of committment because he has seen what happened to his mom and does not want it to happen to him. Try talking to him and see if he will be open and honest with you about why he is being detatched.
2007-03-05 03:31:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
its like anything else, regardless if you have been traumatized in your life, it depends if you are going to follow the same footsteps or give yourself the opportunity to live a different life - not wanting the same for your family life. i hope he is strong enough to change his life and make a turn for the best, good luck!
2007-03-05 03:30:20 · answer #8 · answered by yes, it's me 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends on his relationship with his mother and his bio dad. If he is 37 and never been married, stay away.. far far away.
2007-03-05 03:30:49 · answer #9 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow his mom is a hoe
2007-03-05 03:29:22 · answer #10 · answered by -CEMIX- 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋