My baby's father cheated on me with his Baby's Mother last month. I am pregant and have a 13 month old at home

Question

My 13 month old is from a previous relationship. But I am 4 months pregnant by him! He says that it was a mistake and that he really wants things to work out! He did move 300 miles to be with me! He said that he did it because he was "unsure about his move, and a little insecure about my getting back with my first baby's father!" This cheating episode just happened in January on a trip to "see his child" and they were intimate about 3 times during that week! One time is a mistake, but 3 times is ridiculous! Meanwhile, he revealed that he had been telling his baby's mother that things could possibly work out btw them! If this had happened to me b4 I would have given him the boot... But I have a 13 month old that I take care of alone bcuz her dad is incarcerated! It would be very difficult to raise an 18 month old (the age of my baby at the time of birth of the one I'm carrying) and a newborn alone! Hell its hard taking care of a 13 month old alone!
What steps should I take?

Answer 1

Well if it were me I would kick him to the curb and find a way to do it by myself. If the only reason you are staying with him is because it's too hard to raise a kid on your own...why do you care if he's cheating?? Another thing women make it all the time raising kids on their own and there is alot of assistance you can receive to get you on your feet. But on the other hand atleast he told you the truth....so it is up to you?

Answer 2

Sorry honey, but unfortunately, it won't stop. The father of my two kids cheated on me with his other baby's mother for four years. As long as they have a kid together, they will always be in contact, no matter how far apart they live. There is always the phone. Especially if they still love each other, that's a red flag!!!! If you don't get out of the relationship on your own, he may just make that choice for you down the road, then you have no alternate plans, and you are stuck alone anyway. Talk to a close friend or family member that may be able to help you find someplace else to go. Being alone may be hard, but being in a bad relationship when children are involved is even harder and unsafe. It will suck at first, but years from now, you will know that you made the right choice. Think of your kids, they are more important than yourself. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Well, you've gotten yourself into a situation. At this point, what step can you take? Take the step to get rid of him and get ready to take care of two babies. It really won't be that bad - my daughters are 1 year apart and it's not that bad. However, I'm married, so being a single parent of two will be challenging. You can do it though. Start planning now, as much as possible. Start asking family members if they can help you out. When the time comes, maybe people can chip in with housework, or shopping. Sorry this is happening to you, but don't let it get you down. He's a dog and you don't want him to keep you on this emotional roller coaster. After the baby is born, of course he'll say it's not his, so get ready for the paternity test and then get child support from him. Again, sorry and good luck.

Answer 4

I agree with mama_lisa

Also, I was forced with a similar decision around the same time you were, and I decided to stay with him. I figured that when he was visiting his children, it was hard for him to be around his ex, and he deserved another chance.You know what happened to me? At 5 months pregnant, he moved his WIFE into our apartment and kicked me out. How's that for making the wrong decision? I had my baby 2 months ago, and yes, it's hard, but you adjust. Count the blessings you have, like your 2 babies. And yes, it will be hard raising two, BUT is there anyone in your family that could help out? Do you have any friends that could help out? I'm sure you would qualify for assistance, if you call your state's branch of Family Services, especially since the first child's father is incarcerated.

Don't let this man take you for granted. Otherwise, what happens the next time he goes to visit his other child? Do you really trust him to never do it again?

And I think deep down in your heart, you already know the answer to that. You said yourself "One time is a mistake but 3 times is ridiculous." You should trust your gut, and be strong. You'll make it, and so will your babies.

Answer 5

You need to ask yourself this question " Will I be better off with a lying cheating two-timer while trying to raise two children, or without?" Only YOU can answer that.

Seems to me you have made some very poor choices in your life. You can't afford to do that anymore, you have 2 children that will depend on you for guidance and love. Think about them and what you are teaching them with your actions. Do you really want your children to have your life? I would think not.

Once a cheater, always a cheater! If you can't trust him, what kind of relationship do you have? So what if he moved to be with you, he can now get booty in two places and chances of you running into each other are slim and none.

You need to find assistance, but not in the form of a MAN, find a group that can help you, church organization, anything but a man, or you will end up making more mistakes.

Answer 6

You CAN raise this baby alone...especially with the help of child support. Whether or not you choose to keep this sorry excsuse of a man in your life, he'll have to pay you child support. That, and there is always public assistance for single Moms, to help you get by and on your feet. You really don't need a cheating man like him in your life. He knew what he was doing when he slept with the other woman 3 times! He's like every cheating man out there, they want their cake and eat it too. Let him know you will not put up with that behavior, and that you don't need him. He thinks just because you are pregnant, that you are vunerable and weak, and WON'T leave him. Time to prove him wrong. Be strong, have a backbone, and stand up for yourself, your self-respect, and your pride. Let the lying bastard go back to this other woman, who he told things could work out between them, and you can just collect his paycheck. He's not worth keeping. Or the stress and drama during your pregnancy. You are a strong woman, you can do it! Good luck to you, Hon. Keep us posted on what you decide to do.

Answer 7

Get rid of him. I know it will be hard raising your kids on your own, but millions of women do it, and so can you. If you choose to let him stay, the fact that he has cheated on you will always be running through your mind and you will never truly be happy. And, raising two kids is hard enough without a whole bunch of added stress on top of that. Unless, you are truly happy, you will never be able to raise your kids to you full potential. And think of it this way: Wouldn't you rather be alone then unhappy? Because if your alone your children will make you happy and the right guy will come along in time. Good Luck!

Answer 8

You might want to learn about birth control, youve picked out 2 fathers so far and either sounds like a good choice. If he cheated once he's cheated before, just wasnt caught. He will cheat again, he may or may not be caught everytime either. Hes clearly not in love with you or this wouldnt of happened. If you cant raise both kids maybe consider adoption for the one your pregnant with now. Theres pills, shots, patches, and having your tubes tied to avoid having babies every year, see your doctor or health dept. for more information.

Answer 9

I am sorry. He's a dog.

I know how hard it is to take care of a baby, nevermind two. Is there anyone else, friends or family that can help you out? Because he needs to get his head straight, and stop thinking with his c*ck. I know you need him; believe me I know. But is it worth all of this? I mean, how much thought does he give to the babies he's making all over the place? Don't mean to be judgemental but it's a bit disgusting. What's he thinking?

Not that you and his other baby's mother have no hand in this.

I would tell him he can be involved in his children's lives, but a relationship between the two of you is out of the question. He can see them, he can help financially, but nothing can happen between the two of you. Stand up and be a strong woman and mother.

Answer 10

Only you can make that choice, but do you want to be with someone who is "unsure" so he sleeps with his ex, while you are carrying his child? He will always be attached to his ex because of their child together. Do you believe him when he says he is sorry? Do you think that he can make 3 mistakes in a week and not make another one? If you are asking for an objective opinion, leave him. You may not have much, but you will have your self respect and 2 beautiful children. He is having his cake and eating it too.